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How Are You Feeling? (cont'd)


TronRP

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I am slowly starting to feel like myself again.  As of this week, my 8 year, court appointed tour of duty will officially end and I will scale back to my original appointed responsibilities of the past 16 years.  However, my roll in the lives of all involved will not change, there will just be no legal obligations involved. 

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3 hours ago, gwen said:

I will die sober oif I die at all.

 

I don't get this.  If I know I'm dying like in the next day or so I want literally all of the drugs and alcohol.  I want to not be anywhere near reality when it happens.  Maybe even something that can be injected into my brain to destroy the cluster responsible for pain reception.

 

I want to not exist before I cease to exist.

 

 

28 minutes ago, Queen of Foxes said:

Happy as I can. Hung out with pretty much family, yesterday. Now I'm socially drained. Also found these at Meijer. Yay, my home gets more decor. 

FB_IMG_1693763891964.jpg

 

CONS00ME

 

(they are cute though)

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54 minutes ago, Scary Guy said:

 

I don't get this.  If I know I'm dying like in the next day or so I want literally all of the drugs and alcohol.  I want to not be anywhere near reality when it happens.  Maybe even something that can be injected into my brain to destroy the cluster responsible for pain reception.

 

I want to not exist before I cease to exist.

 

 

 

CONS00ME

 

(they are cute though)

Eh, rather support Meijer than Walmart. Hate that place. Sadly sometimes I can't always support small, and that's okay :) I do a lot of supporting small business, that is how I got into Vogue. Just by only modeling small companies and avoiding the larger and also the alternative crowd tee shirt scam companies on Instagram. I have a nice balance. Plus people work at Meijer and I did too at one point. 

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4 hours ago, Queen of Foxes said:

Eh, rather support Meijer than Walmart. Hate that place. Sadly sometimes I can't always support small, and that's okay :) I do a lot of supporting small business, that is how I got into Vogue. Just by only modeling small companies and avoiding the larger and also the alternative crowd tee shirt scam companies on Instagram. I have a nice balance. Plus people work at Meijer and I did too at one point. 

 

Small is great though, even if you do pay slightly more.  Meijer might be local, but that doesn't mean they're small though, if anything they're medium.  Even small isn't great sometimes though.  Family run is fine, but that usually means no union or HR department (even though HR is never your friend, sometimes it is necessary.)

 

I'm certainly not a fan of Wallmart either even though I have a Sam's Club membership that I hardly use (because of my father.) I'll probably just let that expire when it comes around again.  Also Walmart has good prices on ammo, which is the only thing I ever go there to shop for.  Really mostly we just do Kroger because it's the closest to us.

 

Either way though consumption is still consumption and everything ends up in a landfill eventually.  Either you get tired of it, it gets broken, you move and it gets forgotten, it gets stolen/misplaced, or you die and it either goes directly to the trash or an estate sale and then eventually the trash.  Because in the end everything is attrition.

 

Other than the food waste that I produce I personally try to reuse/recycle as much as I can.  Which is pretty sad considering my philosophical views, and wile I'm not great I'm still doing better than a lot of people out there.

 

I've also written a bit more on this here and here.  Also I may have repeated myself here and if so I am sorry.

 

I'm not necessarily saying not to consume things, as we should enjoy life as much as we can.  I just bought some new fitted sheets for my mattress with a deeper pocket since the memory foam topper that my friend gave me increased the total height to 40cm.  That said if anyone wants some good used black queen sized sheets LMK.

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21 hours ago, Scary Guy said:

 

I don't get this.  If I know I'm dying like in the next day or so I want literally all of the drugs and alcohol.  I want to not be anywhere near reality when it happens.  Maybe even something that can be injected into my brain to destroy the cluster responsible for pain reception.

 

I want to not exist before I cease to exist.

~~~~~

I was so not expecting this!

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But I totally feel you.

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On 9/3/2023 at 3:24 PM, Queen of Foxes said:

Eh, rather support Meijer than Walmart. Hate that place. Sadly sometimes I can't always support small, and that's okay :) I do a lot of supporting small business, that is how I got into Vogue. Just by only modeling small companies and avoiding the larger and also the alternative crowd tee shirt scam companies on Instagram. I have a nice balance. Plus people work at Meijer and I did too at one point. 

 

I feel that with supporting Meijer than Walmart (unless I have absolutely no other choice). I plan on being a small business once I get enough inventory (all I have is hats, fingerless gloves, and hats) going. Supporting small business is good. 

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Ok, punching myself back to reality from the above posts...literally went on several mental trips there...too many medical reality shows and scary movies.

~~~~~

 

At this point, trying not to feel frustrated with my lack of progress in doing anything.  I know it's only been 2 weeks, but it feels like forever.

 

However, with the Fall temps and consecutive days of cloud cover, I should have less to worry about going forward.  I just need to breath and keep it together and don't self-sabotage.

 

Yes.  Sound like a plan...yay.

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Amazing. First day with my glasses. Finally matured enough to need a pair. My parents wore glasses my entire life. I always have been a fan. I also have this chain on the way to hold them for when I'm doing work. I also can read what's on the TV now. Starfield is very different since I can read lol

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