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How Are You Feeling?


Troy Spiral

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ABSOLUTELY LIVID at my ex. He promised to bring a ladder over here three days ago, so I could fix my leaky skylight. Now, here I sit with a fucking turkey roaster pan on my counter. It isn't catching the entire leak. My counter is SOAKED, and the floor is getting there. I REFUSE to use all the clean towels I've worked so hard to wash the old fashioned way. Looks like I'm not going to CC tonight, as I have to babysit this leak.

I hate him, I hate him, I hate him-- for being so fickle and irresponsible. He has made my choosing between two guys VERY easy, this time. I don't care if I ever fucking see him ever again.

I'm fucking STARVING. I haven't eaten since two nights ago. The bills got every bit of my cash this week, and I am absolutely fucked. I don't know how I'm even going to work this evening, being this hungry. My mind isn't right when I go without eating, as I am hypoglycemic. I keep trying not to think about it, but its difficult not to while I am puking bloody acid. This means my ulcer is back. Yay. Good times.

It never ceases to amaze me how my life can go to complete and utter SHIT in two days' time.

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Guest Megalicious

A little tired, like I needed a little break from studying.

Excited about an email that was buried away.

Dreading next week and my 4 tests. *sigh*

Wishing it would stop raining, so I can walk and clear my mind.

Edited by Megalicious
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Wondering if all the painting I did today will dry in this weather.

My hands hurt from putting Mom's new computer desk together.

Like I still have way too much to do on that house and little time.

Like I left my Mazda at Mom's so I can take the van back there for some minor work tomorrow.

Like I am spending all my time at my parents but my little bro lives 2 blocks away. I live 35 minutes.

Like my house is still in the middle of a movie set and it sucks.

Like my ex wrote me a check for a huge chunk of what he owes me and it better not bounce.

And I feel like, finally, I can get some sleep.

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I'm feeling very, very spoiled and special. :wub: The Sarge is sending me a package of naughty things, for when he comes home next month. :devil: I just wish I didn't have to wait for so long..! :p

Still pissed about the roof-- but one of my associates is coming to temporarily fix it with a tarp and sandbags, tomorrow afternoon. That doesn't fix my inability to go out tonight, though. :sad: I must babysit buckets, so they don't overflow and create a worse mess. What a crummy Saturday night! I was looking forward to seeing my friends.

I feel a bit lonesome, like I could use a good cuddle and some conversation.

Edited by jynxxxedangel
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I feel the overwhelming apathy and depression going out of control inside me once again.. it hasn't been anywhere near this bad since 5 years ago...

I know what's coming in this, I know what emotional path i face.. and I don't think i even have the stregnth to go through it this time, not out here, not like this. I feel starved, suffocated, desprate, and the pain is relentless in this slow twisted path back into insanity...

i'm reminded yet again why i'm usually a dick to most people and rarely let anyone in.. because it always seems the ones that i so carefully choose to entrust with my heart, stab it in the coldest way possible..

I don't know if I can make it through this now.. or better worded, I don't know if i should even bother trying to make it through this...

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