How Are You Feeling?

[TronRP]

I feel so exhausted, but too nervous to get some sleep. I have been called on all day. Every few hours someone needed help with Ma and now I just finished up with the night nurse that had to pay us a visit due to a situation caused by the case nurse. If I go to sleep now, I must be up in a few hours to get the kids off to school. I feel overused. 

[kat (1)]

Coffee needed.

[kat (1)]

I want more coffee, I also need food. 

[kat (1)]

As lonely and affection starved as I feel (because I am human)I am not going to bother with any of them. They will not be worth it. I will follow my intuition and just whatever, I know noone of them are worth it at all:(

I guess that's just the sad truth.

Edited September 14, 2015 by kat

[TronRP]

Feeling punchy as dirt stuck in robot mode...

[kat (1)]

I feel ouch and stuff. Shouldn't be moving furniture by myself, my body hurts now and I still have to do the bedroom.

[TronRP]

I have a chance to sit down now from doing yardwork, chauffeuring to Southfield and contacting the new case nurse who will be making a visit tomorrow, but I'm worried I might get too comfortable and fall to sleep. My shift starts at 6pm and Ma has been a bit critical because she hasn't been able to eat or drink since Saturday. Night nurses came out last night and put a button port in her thigh keeping her medicated. So now we are being vigilant about getting her rehydrated using a syringe. I just don't want to fall down on the job...literally.

[kat (1)]

I feel down; the insurance guy came and I was so worried about making sure that the house was clean and presentable that I didn't even think about how he would be asking me to talk about the actual accident, soon as he asked me what happened I could feel the quiver inside, tried not to cry but I got lost back to that day it happened, I haven't been asked to explain it out loud really except for like at doctors appointments but this was intimidating to a degree. I cry too easy as it is.

Edited September 15, 2015 by kat

[Corvus]

I feel down; the insurance guy came and I was so worried about making sure that the house was clean and presentable that I didn't even think about how he would be asking me to talk about the actual accident, soon as he asked me what happened I could feel the quiver inside, tried not to cry but I got lost back to that day it happened, I haven't been asked to explain it out loud really except for like at doctors appointments but this was intimidating to a degree. I cry too easy as it is.

OMG you poor thing, I promise it does get easier the more you talk about it. You've just gotta be strong and get through it!

[TronRP]

Feeling a lot better than last night. I was so stressed and exhausted I passed out on the floor again. At least I had a blanket this time.

 

[kat (1)]

Idk, I just don't know. 

[torn asunder]

pissed off at the immaturity of the most recent member that needed to be removed.

[TronRP]

Feeling practically livid at the information I learned last night about how hospice works. Our aides have been going above and beyond the call of duty to assist our mother. We just didn't know. If we had had some form of Hospice orientation months ago, then we could have made an informed decision as to how to proceed. Ma was under the impression that she would have the option to receive care while preparing for the end. Not true. Now she can't speak and the care workers (in-home and in-facility) are not allowed to do anything for her unless she has the ability to ask them to. All they are supposed to do is monitor her pain meds and change her diaper if needed at the time they check in on her...nothing more, unless she can say, "I am hungry."

[kat (1)]

I wanna cry. I am lonely and I don't want to meet people cause it's stupid, same old crap. What's the point? Get all prettyish for someone that is just going to be not worth my effort. Anyone can have the gift of gab and know what we want to hear, that stupid dance ya. I'm tired of the dance.

Edited September 17, 2015 by kat

[kat (1)]

I am upset but I have to calm myself.  I have no choice because my head will get that stupid pressure buildup and it's not fun. I literally cannot tolerate stress, this is going to be great. I am the queen of stress toleration now, I can't my head is like a stress o meter and it feels like it is going to explode with the slightest bit of upset or crying, yea crying is painful now in more ways than one. Those two guys that ran to my car and were holding my neck and trying to keep me from moving and just talking to me to keep me from losing consciousness "told me you can't cry its going to make it hurt worse" had no idea how true that is even still, I just hear them and that statement ruminates and resignates.

Edited September 18, 2015 by kat

[creatureofthenyte]

I feel, like some internal pressure has just been set free, and I'm better for it; those around me....not so much.

[TronRP]

...I need a nap...

[kat (1)]

Very sad.  A kid we used to live next door to when I was younger has committed suicide. God, his poor family: (

[Michael8402]

Feeling happy to be home.  I get out of work to find it raining.  I started the motorcycle up to let it warm up and then the lightning started flashing.  Slick roads + cold heavy rain + lightning + motorcycle + night time = interesting ride home from work.  It was refreshing though.  Gives you a good reminder that you are alive.

[TronRP]

Feeling happy to be home.  I get out of work to find it raining.  I started the motorcycle up to let it warm up and then the lightning started flashing.  Slick roads + cold heavy rain + lightning + motorcycle + night time = interesting ride home from work.  It was refreshing though.  Gives you a good reminder that you are alive.

Apparently, I need a motorcycle and a refreshing ride. I've been dead on my feet for months and the harder I work the more disgruntled everyone seems to be becoming.

[TronRP]

Feeling extremely punchy...

[Michael8402]

Apparently, I need a motorcycle and a refreshing ride. I've been dead on my feet for months and the harder I work the more disgruntled everyone seems to be becoming.

Let me know if you want to go for a ride.  I am not going to tell you that having a motorcycle is the greatest thing ever.  It has it's issues and it isn't the safest thing in the world but I love it.

[TronRP]

Let me know if you want to go for a ride.  I am not going to tell you that having a motorcycle is the greatest thing ever.  It has it's issues and it isn't the safest thing in the world but I love it.

Thanks, I will definitely let you know.

[TronRP]

I am having a stress filled moment!!!!

I hate everything right now especially Stupid dumbass Comcast Xfinity whatever.

They miss billed us again. I told the lady last month that I wanted to cancel and she talked me into a downgrade. Now the bill is over $300.00 and my lameass phone just died in the middle of getting that handled.

It took me 5 minutes to get through the automated lady just to start back at square one.

I HATE THIS!!!

[kat (1)]

Tired.