Sober Goth

[BillyDeath]

Being in the Goth scene for almost fifteen years and going to A.A. meetings and staying clean and sober for seven years, I've been trying to find a medium between the two. I've actually found it but have a hard time to meet people in the A.A who have that same type of balence, if that makes any sense. Some say stay outta places that serve alcohal, but I can go to these places and not drink. I've supported the A.A. dances but they usually are not my scene. Alot of people, in A.A down south, are big in the Bible and don't approve of the pagan beliefs.

[Msterbeau]

Yeah... You gotta make your recovery your own and do what works. No sense hanging out with a bunch of people that are completely against your belief system.

[bean]

Congratulations. I've been sober for 15 months, and I find that I can go to places that serve alcohol - I just don't drink. It used to bother me, but it doesn't anymore. I did give up CC for awhile when I first quit drinking a few years ago (I fell off the wagon once last year), but I couldn't stop going there completely (so I still go there). AA and the crowd that came with it never did it for me.

I'm finding that it is rather entertaining to watch people who get drunk/high and make fools of themselves

Edited August 7, 2009 by bean water

[Homicidalheathen]

I too have quit drinking but still at the point where, staying out of bars totally is the only way. If I have one or two it becomes 5-6 so I just stay away for now.

Finding true friends who actually care about you enough to find something active to do that does not involve their selfish 'drink with me buddy!' ways, is not easy.

Staying out of the bars is best.

Actually I have noticed most people who get drunk not just a beer or two...but drink everyday and/or get drunk at least once a week, are total assholes most of the time. It effects personality and makes people mean.

Why on earth would I want to go hang out with a room full of that?

Not enough sober people these days.

Surprised how many close aquaintences I have that are in total denial about their alcoholism. Its NOT attractive.

[Rev.Reverence]

Being in the Goth scene for almost fifteen years and going to A.A. meetings and staying clean and sober for seven years, I've been trying to find a medium between the two. I've actually found it but have a hard time to meet people in the A.A who have that same type of balence, if that makes any sense. Some say stay outta places that serve alcohal, but I can go to these places and not drink. I've supported the A.A. dances but they usually are not my scene. Alot of people, in A.A down south, are big in the Bible and don't approve of the pagan beliefs.

That's really horrible...the AA (& NA for that matter) have a handbook, it sais you must surrender to a higher power..of your own knowing...what a bunch of totally uneven souls...Knowing Divinity is Knowing Divinity...whatever name you use...congratulations on the great streak... keep it up!

[BillyDeath]

I'm finding that it is rather entertaining to watch people who get drunk/high and make fools of themselves

[Onyx]

I never drink either (just not my thing, doesn't agree with me, makes me feel ill) but I think it's more difficult for those who used to drink than me because nobody ever has pressured me or questioned me about it. I just get a cola or water and don't discuss it unless somebody asks.

I think when you used to drink and then don't some may feel that you can't/aren't going to have a good time unless you drink with them, which could be really irritating.

[BillyDeath]

I never drink either (just not my thing, doesn't agree with me, makes me feel ill) but I think it's more difficult for those who used to drink than me because nobody ever has pressured me or questioned me about it. I just get a cola or water and don't discuss it unless somebody asks.

I think when you used to drink and then don't some may feel that you can't/aren't going to have a good time unless you drink with them, which could be really irritating.

It kind of was in the beginning, but after 6 months it wasn't difficult. If thats the way they think, they are totally off the mark. It doesn't have any to do with me what they think.

[taysteewonderbunny]

That's really horrible...the AA (& NA for that matter) have a handbook, it sais you must surrender to a higher power..of your own knowing...what a bunch of totally uneven souls...Knowing Divinity is Knowing Divinity...whatever name you use...congratulations on the great streak... keep it up!

But it's not uncommon. Insistent proselytizing is one of the reasons I left NA. Not the only reason, just one of them. It's just one of those things, though. If you NEED the program and it can help you, take what you need and leave the rest. If you can voice your discontent in an non-argumentative way, so much the better, though not all attendees are capable of listening to reason--they all come flawed, you know.

[BillyDeath]

take what you need and leave the rest.

That is what I have been doiing from the get-go and why I'm still here.

[bean]

I'm finding that it is rather entertaining to watch people who get drunk/high and make fools of themselves

LOL....Me too. That it self is a for me a trigger to stay sober. Thanx for congradulating me, and congradulations to you too. If you wanna talk more on this, one on one, either message me here or via myspace, which is darklair.

Edited August 10, 2009 by bean water

[BillyDeath]

The problem is that they tell me not to go to goth clubs and try to get me to limit myself at places with people who don't find me appealing, so when they have the dances, I'll be alone. Their were times were I was without a date, because I just moved down here, and they loved to see that because it made them feel superior and they were hopping for me to feel inferior. They would feel superior because they had dates and I didn't, they love it when I'm in that position.

[Slogo]

congrats to you.

There's a few out there who i wish could do it, and some that didn't make it.

[BillyDeath]

THANX. Wish you could stay sober, or go to these places and stay sober? Why do think they wanna put me in that position?

[Scales]

Most people go to clubs to socialize. If you can go to a goth club, not drink, and have a good time then your doing what makes you happy.

If you look inferior to someone that's something they need to work out so they can see clearly.

AA might be good for support, or maybe too conservative to give any support, the best answers come from within.

[BillyDeath]

Most people go to clubs to socialize. If you can go to a goth club, not drink, and have a good time then your doing what makes you happy.

If you look inferior to someone that's something they need to work out so they can see clearly.

AA might be good for support, or maybe too conservative to give any support, the best answers come from within.

Yes, but the question is why do they want me in the position? Looking dateless at dances and cut off where I couldn't be.

[Miranda]

Never had a drinking problem but other deep and long term substance abuse issues. I have been clean for a long time now. I didn't use A.A. because of the religious conditioning they use. I just stopped on my own.

A.A.and N.A. seem to be based on the giving up of yourself and your crutch to a higher power to help you with taming it. I think we both know how helpful that is. This is something you need to work out for your self or possibly some professional help, if you are into that. I mean no disrespect to the Christians on the forum; you can believe in whatever tenets make you feel content.

I miss getting high but I also came to the realization that it was a short term fix for a long term issue/problem that I will always have to deal with. As was said by another poster; you just have to find what works for you and makes things more tolerable, even if it means staying away from certain people or places. You are the only one who can save yourself.

Not all "Goth" people drink or do drugs and I'm sure some are now sober as we've become older and wiser. I'm an example. I believe people need to learn on their own and even though the lessons often come hard, it's the only way to be taught, through pain and experience(s).

Just never make the mistake of lying to yourself about your addiction(s). I feel that's the most damage I ever did to myself. The feeling that I could control the situation and stop whenever I wanted. It took many attempts at sobriety before I got it right.

I also can't tell you that I could resist certain substances if I was plied with them either though. I had to focus on other things, such as art, writing, photography and knowledge on whatever interests me.

You are doing excellent, I see no reason to stop forging ahead. You don't need Christian dogma frustrating you at A.A. meetings when it isn't what you are into.

[Gaf The Horse With Tears]

That's really horrible...the AA (& NA for that matter) have a handbook, it sais you must surrender to a higher power..of your own knowing...what a bunch of totally uneven souls...Knowing Divinity is Knowing Divinity...whatever name you use...congratulations on the great streak... keep it up!

Rev., sorry man... AA and NA are Christian orginizations. Most of the tenants of AA are borrowed from the Bible (according to Dr. Bob, one of the founders of AA)

From the AA history page...

Did you know that early A.A. in Akron was a Christian Fellowship?

Did you know that its basic ideas came from study of the Bible?

Did you know that its meetings were called “old fashioned prayer meetings”

Did you know its principles and practices derived from the United Christian Endeavor Society?

Did you know that the Book of James, the Sermon on the Mount, and 1 Corinthians 13 were considered “absolutely essential” to the program?

Did you know that the pioneers achieved a 75% to 93% success rate—which they properly called “cures”—as the result of their program?

Do you agree that a knowledge of these facts strengthens and buttresses any Christian Track or Christian Recovery or Christian 12-Step or Christ-centered Recovery Program.

[taysteewonderbunny]

Rev., sorry man... AA and NA are Christian organizations. Most of the tenants of AA are borrowed from the Bible (according to Dr. Bob, one of the founders of AA).

Yes, AA was (originally) a Christian organization. In fact, the Lord's Prayer is often said at AA meetings still and its membership is predominantly Christian, but one is not required to be a member of the Christian religion to attend. NA is even more liberal and pretty much from the beginning used the words "Higher Power" to not only make meetings less sectarian, but so that many of non-Christian faiths would feel comfortable. Some NA meetings come down pretty strictly on people who proselytize in their meetings. So, it's not across the board Christian at these meetings. In Michigan, for example, there was an NA Pagan/Wiccan meeting for many years in the Royal Oak area and might still be. I don't know because I fell away from the whole organization some five or six years ago.

[candyman]

Man I don't even think we have AA here in Wisconsin...then again we really don't know what to do without at least one Miller in our hands.

Never really liked AA anyways. Not because of the religious aspect or the fact that it doesn't help EVERYONE but mostly because of how people I know turned out after they went through part or all of it. Now they are either deathly afraid to go near anything that could have the slightest effect on their minds...or worst of all the are sticking their noses up in the air at ANYONE that has a drink...even if it is only one beer. Quit drinking if that what you want to do, more power to you, but PLEASE keep it to yourself if you are around others that choose to drink. We all have our reasons and sometimes being drunk is merely being on vacation because thats all we can afford...a few hours where nothing really exists. Thats all cool as long as no driving is done at all.

Now, my question is where the hell is the smokers version of AA? I am looking to quit and so are other people but besides cold turkey which fries your brain everything that helps you quit is around $50 plus your left nut!

[AstralCrux]

Now, my question is where the hell is the smokers version of AA? I am looking to quit and so are other people but besides cold turkey which fries your brain everything that helps you quit is around $50 plus your left nut!

Switch to Djarum Blacks... Almost everyone I know could quit from them and those that smoke Blacks can just quit. I've been cutting back myself, but I've stopped for 2 weeks just to prove a point to a friend. Good luck.

[candyman]

Switch to Djarum Blacks... Almost everyone I know could quit from them and those that smoke Blacks can just quit. I've been cutting back myself, but I've stopped for 2 weeks just to prove a point to a friend. Good luck.

I would but they are $12 a pack! Cheaper than anything else that people use to quit but still...they smell like ass too...still smoke them but that doesn't hide the stink.

[taysteewonderbunny]

Man I don't even think we have AA here in Wisconsin...then again we really don't know what to do without at least one Miller in our hands.

Now, my question is where the hell is the smokers version of AA? I am looking to quit and so are other people but besides cold turkey which fries your brain everything that helps you quit is around $50 plus your left nut!

To answer the latter first, you may have been joking, but they're not smoking: Nicotine Anonymous

Now for the former--yes, AA is in WI: list of Wisconsin meetings

[candyman]

To answer the latter first, you may have been joking, but they're not smoking: Nicotine Anonymous

Now for the former--yes, AA is in WI: list of Wisconsin meetings

Was that supposed th rhyme? Anyways thanks I will give them a try...at least until I leave for basic...then I can start again when I am out.

Yeah I knew we had AA in Wisconsin but you should see some of the meetings...I took a friend and there were only 5 people there...the leader said that 5 people is a good meeting! Plus, my state is really, really, REALLY into drinking.

[taysteewonderbunny]

Was that supposed to rhyme?

Yeah I knew we had AA in Wisconsin but you should see some of the meetings...I took a friend and there were only 5 people there...the leader said that 5 people is a good meeting! Plus, my state is really, really, REALLY into drinking.

Not just 'supposed,' it did, in my dialect, anyway.

I've never lived in WI, so I will take your word for it. If you are ever hard up for a drink in the Big Easy, hit up an AA meeting; in NOLA, white chips will buy you a free drink in many establishments.