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OVERSIZED STORYBOOKS.. renowned for their Kindergarten affairs, are much more dangerous than their preceding relatives. From the humble beginnings of animal skin and the scroll, save the cave wall and its ape-man, none could foresee the need to print innocent prose as large as the sun. Nor did our ancestors know the dangers, dangers which are, threatening the very core of learning institutions today-- in stories which reflect a miniaturized mural.

It might be more apt to hand out french fries, not to mention, blue and red glasses, before engaging in such reading. Not that such acceptable oddities would have any effect on the sheer terror, the volatile discomfort, that could come into a member of the educational staff in the belief that they might very well be shrinking. Dwarfed by a book with no words past that of two syllables, it is a fatalist innuendo of all that is novelty and jumbo to have one's life-force sucked out by something relative as such, like a giant plastic tooth-brush.

There is a force relative to that of the modern thick book, the tome. May we tread with caution lest we all be imprisoned by this force in nature. It might be considered that taking the dishonorable practices of organized religion into account, the thick book is for the thick reader. But head bashing and windpipe expansion aside, this would insult the great classic literature our contemporary minds admit to find boring, and would rather use for the distinctly honorable purpose of balancing out old and inexpensive furniture.

While civilization itself is not directly threatened by the advent of oversized storybooks due to safety precautions put into place, the threat to immediate exposure is very real. Two people have reportedly died from paper cuts in the vicinity of these books, and it is no joke that they are now sold in Sweden with first aid kits. Some people have reported having developed a cough, an itch, or the intense hallucination of cardiac arrest, in attempting to process a relatively simple climax in a massive expulsion of printer ink.

Please read safely and use protection.

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