saechalyn

This flower is scorched This film is on On a maddening loop. These clothes, These clothes don't fit us right I'm to blame It's all the same It's all the same You come to me with a bone in your hand You come to me with your hair curled tight You come to me with positions You come to me with excuses Ducked out in a row You wear me out You wear me out We've been through fake-a-breakdown Self hurt, plastics, collections Self help, self pain, EST, psychics, fuck all I was central, I had control I lost my head I need this. I need this A paper weight, junk garage Winter rain, a honey pot Crazy, all the lovers have been tagged. A hotline, a wanted ad It's crazy what you could've had It's crazy what you could've had It's crazy what you could've had I need this I need this It's crazy what you could've had It's crazy what you could've had I need this I need this It's crazy what you could've had It's crazy what you could've had I need this I need this It's crazy what you could've had I need this I need this It's crazy what you could've had Crazy what you could've had I need this I need this Crazy what you could've had. Crazy what you could've had

Large groups. Small gatherings are ok if the people gathered are awesome. What was the last concert you went to?

nope. what are you doing this weekend?

I do! I used to sit on the phone forever but now I just use it to confirm plans or something quick like "we're here!" Now I use IM for chit chat. Did you/will you go to your next high school reunion?

big love

Me too, such a damn shame firefly got cancelled, they could have done so much with it. Good movie though.

Absolutely. Ever get dragged in the middle of something that had nothing to do with you?

Ugh. I have made that wish so very many times....

New York, Boston, Portland, San Francisco, and about a thousand other places. Do you believe in Karma?

Serenity

I'm not sure what I'm looking for anymore I just know that I'm harder to console I don't see who I'm trying to be instead of me But the key is a question of control Can you say what you're trying to play anyway I just pay while you're breaking all the rules All the signs that I find have been underlined Devils thrive on the drive that is fueled All this running around, well it's getting me down Just give me a pain that I'm used to I don't need to believe all the dreams you conceive You just need to achieve something that rings true There's a hole in your soul like an animal With no conscience, repentance unknown Close your eyes, pay the price for your paradise Devils feed on the seeds that are sown I can't conceal what I feel, what I know is real No mistaking the faking, I care With a prayer in the air I will leave it there On a note full of hope not despair All this running around, well it's getting me down Just give me a pain that I'm used to I don't need to believe all the dreams you conceive You just need to achieve something that rings true All this running around, well it's getting me down Just give me a pain that I'm used to I don't need to believe all the dreams you concieve You just need to achieve something that rings true

And that's as narrow as it's gonna get!!

No crushes, but, ah, considering the dream I had last night, my subconscious seems to think one of you would be really good in bed. Teehee!

Breathing an air Permeated, soaked in darkness Emanating from within Resonating like a scream no one can hear I wear this chaos well Though none should save me Desperation keeps me here My need for innocence The place where I began The abyss becomes me I wear this chaos well Are these not words of heresy? A venom on my lips, a poison? My spirit impurified In everything I choose to say With you I stand in hope That God will save us from ourselves Every cry a wasted moment Until another day is lost Even lands we once called home Lie undiscovered and unknown Only heaven's silence for an answer And did our laughter, did our tears Have some purpose after all? Did we toil in vain in hope That wisdom came from what we'd done? Even lands we once called home Lie undiscovered and unknown Only heaven's silence for an answer Are these not words of heresy? A venom on my lips, a poison? My spirit impurified In everything I choose to say If I would shed my skin, the layers left But not the lessons learned It would not undo what I have done Or grant forgiveness in some better days With you I stand in hope That God will save us from ourselves Every cry a wasted moment Until another day is lost Even lands we once called home Lie undiscovered and unknown Only heaven's silence for an answer And did our laughter, did our tears Have some purpose after all? Did we toil in vain in hope That wisdom came from what we'd done? Even lands we once called home Lie undiscovered and unknown Only heaven's silence for an answer

Reading Interpreter of Maladies. Phenomenal.

Hear the phrase "You were right." What was your first job?

Unsent dear matthew I like you a lot I realize you're in a relationship with someone right now and I respect that I would like you to know that if you're ever single in the future and you want to come visit me in california I would be open to spending time with you and finding out how old you were when you wrote your first song dear jonathan I liked you too much I used to be attracted to boys who would lie to me and think solely about themselves and you were plenty self-destructive for my taste at the time I used to say the more tragic the better the truth is whenever I think of the early 90's your face comes up with a vengeance like it was yesterday dear terrance I love you muchly you've been nothing but open hearted and emotionally available and supportive and nurturing and consummately there for me I kept drawing you in and pushing you away I remember how beautiful it was to fall asleep on your couch and cry in front of you for the first time you were the best platform from which to jump beyond myself what was wrong with me dear marcus you rocked my world you had a charismatic way about you with the women and you got me seriously thinking about spirituality and you wouldn't let me get away with kicking my own ass but I could never really feel and it's kinda too bad because we could've had much more fun dear lou we learned so much I realize we won't be able to talk for some time and I understand that as I do you the long distance thing was the hardest and we did as well as we could we were together during a very tumultuous time in our lives I will always have your back and be curious about you and your career your whereabouts

You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar

I don't want to get over you. I guess I could take a sleeping pill and sleep at will and not have to go through what I go through. I guess I should take Prozac, right, and just smile all night at somebody new, Somebody not too bright but sweet and kind who would try to get you off my mind. I could leave this agony behind which is just what I'd do if I wanted to, but I don't want to get over you cause I don't want to get over love. I could listen to my therapist, pretend you don't exist and not have to dream of what I dream of; I could listen to all my friends and go out again and pretend it's enough, or I could make a career of being blue--I could dress in black and read Camus, smoke clove cigarettes and drink vermouth like I was 17 that would be a scream but I don't want to get over you.