GothicRavenGoddess

❤

Man... most of the drama I went through didn't even happen here. it happen on Facebook and involved a lot of dgners. people who I thought were my friend. who I cared deeply for... And turns out I wasted my time and energy because they either secretly hated me, or just kept me around to laugh at (not my words) I left because I was hurt. this was the first community I joined, when I first moved to MI, in 2007. And some of the people here, who I thought were my friends, were the first friends i made here... so being here was hard. I was afraid to come back, for a long time... But eh... who knows. maybe something great will come of it.

No kidding. :/ I just wish we weren't starting over 100% with debt to the bank. thankfully our bank allows us to pay it back when we want, without interest. but still. In a better world, I wouldn't be sick and struggling just to go up and down stairs... of course, if I weren't sick, I'd be thin... so your point still stands lol Life sucks right now. struggling to eat and pay bills. when just 9 months ago, we weren't doing either of those things. It's frustrating how fast shit can go sour. Thankfully, I still have use of my hands, and my hats are good quality. sadly, everyone else is just as broke as we are and hats are cheaper at walmart. :/ but even if no one buys them... I can still make them, and it's sorta like therapy to me... Anyways... not all of that was in response to you particularly. lol I just tend to ramble a lot more than I use to... which is saying something.

If we weren't struggling to eat and pay our bills, I would also like a hoodie with this on it. or maybe a large patch to put on a hoodie. either way...

Feeling kinda useless.... *sigh*

Exhausted, achy, and stressed.

moving spirals are more likely to cause issues. For online, the colors and shape of the lines you have are fine. if you were to have an actual physical flag made, it might cause issues if it were to flap in the wind, in its current spiral form. you could tone down the stark contrast, and straighten the spiral slightly. enough that it wouldn't mimic a spinning spiral, if it were to move in the wind, but keep its shape enough that people get the idea. Just my opinion *shrugs*

We are friends on Facebook, Troy. I have been following what's been going on with you, very closely. I really do hope things get better for you. I know your mom isn't doing so hot and I'm pretty sure it's because of how neglectful the place is, that she is staying at. I'm rooting for you and her! Yeah... as far as drama goes I was here for it. I was partially the center of it. Lost a lot of people out of my life who I thought were my friends... Come to find out they only kept me around to laugh at my life because they all thought I was foolish and whatever else... so I left. Coming back like once a year To check messages and what not. Message boards really are starting to fade in popularity and it makes me sad because of how useful they can be. I know some of this may seem off topic. But I wanted to open a dialog and have. So I'm happy how this thread is going. I think I will return from my hiatus. Also, I wish i were closer so I could attend a DGN Gathering. but an hour's drive is just too far. We broke af... And rely heavily on donations. I am sure you can relate to that lol There are quite a few people whom I miss and wouldn't mind seeing.

Sia-Alive cuz I got jokes lol (im using a tablet and it wont let me embed. the video) name a song you love but only listen to while alone

Lots and lots of you know me.. and a lot of you dont give a shit about me anymore... and hey, thats ok! (no, really, Im ok with it... you do you.) Since Ryuu passed in 2013, my life has been a whirlwind of events. my roommates and I (same roommates Ive been living with since 2008) moved to CA, because one of them got a great job. Well, the company went bankrupt, because one of the owners is quite delusional. So while waiting for another job (in the same field) to get back to... lets call him BJ, money ran out, and all of us ended up being homeless. I have been engaged since last year. Me and... lets cal him Wolf, were living in his car for the last 5 months. We got screwed over by a friend, and are now back in MI... the other roommates are also back in MI, but we don't live with them. We live with some very nice folks, in Algonac/Clay Twp. I have also been diagnosed with some new illnesses. one of which is eating away at both of my kneecaps (I ended up in the ER, because of it, and its in the advanced stages in my left and is advancing in my right) I may or may not be back here.... but for those who dont want to be facebook friends but still care, here is whats been going on the last few years. My other hairless cat, ZahZah is doing well. She misses Ryuu, eventho they didn't know each other long... and Wolf and I are trying to get back to some semblence of normalcy and also trying, desperately, to get our bank account out of the red, and also just survive in general. I dont hope for pitty. I dont even hope for comments. I just wanted to make a post. Despite a lot of the bad memories, I do actually miss it here. Gods only knows why cuz I sure dont lol

https://g.co/kgs/mwCM2s Sia: Alive I was born in a thunderstorm I grew up overnight I played alone I played on my own I survived Hey I wanted everything I never had Like the love that comes with light I wore envy and I hated that But I survived I had a one-way ticket to a place where all the demons go Where the wind don't change And nothing in the ground can ever grow No hope, just lies And you're taught to cry in your pillow But I survived I'm still breathing, I'm still breathing I'm still breathing, I'm still breathing I'm alive I'm alive I'm alive I'm alive I found solace in the strangest place Way in the back of my mind I saw my life in a stranger's face And it was mine I had a one-way ticket to a place where all the demons go Where the wind don't change And nothing in the ground can ever grow No hope, just lies And you're taught to cry in your pillow But I survived I'm still breathing, I'm still breathing I'm still breathing, I'm still breathing I'm alive I'm alive I'm alive I'm alive You took it all, but I'm still breathing You took it all, but I'm still breathing You took it all, but I'm still breathing You took it all, but I'm still breathing You took it all, but I'm still breathing You took it all, but I'm still breathing You took it all, but I'm still breathing You took it all, but I'm still breathing I had made every single mistake That you could ever possibly make I took and I took and I took what you gave But you never noticed that I was in pain I knew what I wanted, I went in and got it Did all the things that you said that I wouldn't I told you that I would never be forgotten And all in spite of you And I'm still breathing, I'm still breathing I'm still breathing, I'm still breathing I'm alive (You took it all, but I'm still breathing) (You took it all, but I'm still breathing) I'm alive (You took it all, but I'm still breathing) (You took it all, but I'm still breathing) I'm alive (You took it all, but I'm still breathing) (You took it all, but I'm still breathing) I'm alive I'm alive I'm alive I'm alive I'm alive

Welp... despite everything happening in my life, right now... I am doing ok... which is surprising...

Well. Never mind. But we'll see

Also. I agree with the poly mono thing. I don't think it's fair to exclude polyes looking for someone.

I like the idea of the ball. Mingle better. Fancy clothes. Formal setting. No rush.

Watching The X-Files, on HuluPlus.

Same as before, I guess. Add lonely. Cat= only man I've ever loved, who hasn't either hurt or disappointed me in some way or anther. No offense to anyone. But it's true. Ok. Lmao. Add "pathetic" to that as well. Good grief. *shakes head*

It's just so easy to give up on it. Most men in my life are either taken, live out of state, or VERY uninterested. The rest? They are gay. So, I mean. Crazy cat lady isn't a far reach, I guess. And this isnt me lookin for sympathy. It's a simple observation. :-/

As many of you know, I have PCOS. So I've been struggling with my weight for years now. After being stuck at a whopping 260lbs, size 22 pants, and 38/40h bra, for 2-2.5 years, I've -finally- started losing. It's only a little, and it fluxuates, but I've dropped a pants size, and I've lost like 2 cup sizes. My body still aches, but the pain in my upper back has gone down, and because of how my fat is distributed, I still look proportionate on top. I'm so happy. My first goal is 200. My second is 180. And I'll see from there. PCOS, in me, causes insulin resistance, which makes gaining weight really easy, an losing very difficult, because the insulin has lost the ability to properly break down fat even with exercise and diet. So this will be an excruciatingly slow process.. But it feels great that I've made any progress at all :-D

I can relate to this. I don't have the means to get out on my own, since anxieties keep me from driving (I'm working on it)... And I always live so far from everyone... But even when I literally lived on the way to a frequented club, no one came to see me. I haven't had a friend visit in ages. :( I mean I get it. Gas is crazy. But it's also because no one likes my roommates or the fact that we have pigs as pets.... So they avoid it here. It's alright. I mean I got FB. And stuff. But becoming a hermit is seeming more and more appealing *sigh* -_-