The human ego

[soothsayer]

Being that I am a fan of psychology and more precisely human behavoir I have found it interesting to watch peoples posting habits here on DGN. Over the last few years I have noticed (as others have) there are people here that seem to stick together. Call it clique or whatever label you choose, it is none the less obvious.

I often ask myself how a group of people that show a higher level of intellect could behave in this manner. Is it insecuritiy? Or familararity? Or something as simple as the human ego. I will not mention names but there is more than a fare deal of ego stroking in the threads found here. It just stikes me as odd at times that people seem to need their ego boosted on a almost daily basis.

So I'd like to know what others here think about this subject.

This thread is not directed at anyone person although I realize there will be many here that will hate me for bringing this up.

Again: send your hate mail to my inbox or just ignore me.

[bean]

Very interesting topic. I've noticed it and wondered the same thing myself. When broken down to the basics, human social behavior is the same, no matter the intelligence of the people involved. We all need/like to hear nice things about ourselves from time to time. Some people need to hear it more often than others, for various reasons. Some people are really insecure, so they need constant complimenting and reassurance. Then there are others that might be full of themselves, so they thrive on constant complimenting. Just my opinion. As for the little groups that form, that is human nature. Humans are social creatures, and like minded people tend to group together. Some people are a bit more closed minded and will stick to their own little group, while others are more open minded and will intermingle with other groups. Some people are more social than others, obviously.

There is one thing I have to comment on that I'm sure is going to piss some people off: The "popularlity contest" threads/polls/whatever get kind of annoying. I'm not saying they should stop or anything, but I'm sure it hurts some people that are left out. Every single person on this board has good qualities about them that deserve to be recognized. We all have something that is "the best." Again, just my opinion.

[Hellion]

Very interesting topic.  I've noticed it and wondered the same thing myself.  When broken down to the basics, human social behavior is the same, no matter the intelligence of the people involved.  We all need/like to hear nice things about ourselves from time to time.  Some people need to hear it more often than others, for various reasons.  Some people are really insecure, so they need constant complimenting and reassurance.  Then there are others that might be full of themselves, so they thrive on constant complimenting.  Just my opinion.  As for the little groups that form, that is human nature.  Humans are social creatures, and like minded people tend to group together.  Some people are a bit more closed minded and will stick to their own little group, while others are more open minded and will intermingle with other groups.  Some people are more social than others, obviously.

There is one thing I have to comment on that I'm sure is going to piss some people off:  The "popularlity contest" threads/polls/whatever get kind of annoying.  I'm not saying they should stop or anything, but I'm sure it hurts some people that are left out.  Every single person on this board has good qualities about them that deserve to be recognized.  We all have something that is "the best."  Again, just my opinion.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I alays wondered why I am hated for being myself,Ha Ha Ha Ha LOL.

[ManicQueen]

I run solo in this bitch :grin

[n0Mad]

I have a bigger ego than all y'all. My ego is better than yours.

[Aralis]

I have noticed this as well Sooth and I find it rather amusing.

And I totally agree with what Bean said about the popularity contests and polls.

[JaneDead]

I run solo in this bitch  :grin

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

word

[honeymustard02]

As I am not really friends with anyone here (I don't know any of you personally only through posts) I second the statement below.

I think people have low image self esteem. They don't like themselves so they pick out the same in other people and put it down. Some people are never taught to deal with the negative in another way other then negative comments. I myself am quilty of this and as I have grown up I'm trying to change it. I'm not perfect but I now that tearing someone else down isn't the answer.

That and I think people don't know how to make themselves feel better so they let other people do it. It's a quick fix to a hard problem. Never lasting though it is, I don't think it will ever stop.

I run solo in this bitch  :grin

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[Hellion]

:devil The popularity crap does get old.

[JaneDead]

Over the last few years I have noticed (as others have) there are people here that seem to stick together. Call it clique or whatever label you choose, it is none the less obvious.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

i don't think people around here are really "clique"-like. to me a clique would exclude people and i don't see anyone on here doing that. i see people have close bonds with others and that has to do, i think, with people's personal relationships outside of the board. so many people on here actually know each other and talk to each other so they have formed real, solid friendships.

I often ask myself how a group of people that show a higher level of intellect could behave in this manner. Is it insecuritiy? Or familararity? Or something as simple as the human ego.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

i don't think it has anything to do with intellect or behaving in a manner that is some how "bad" or beneath anyone.

i think it is just like anything in life - you find something you like, you gravitate towards it. if it is people, music, food, art... we see something we like, we go in that direction. it is only natural that people here are going to be closer to certain people more so than others. i don't think it should be taken personally. i think it is really ridiculous to think that EVERY one here would like everyone equally or that it would be one big group of everyone getting along the same. that doesn't even happen in real life, it won't happen here either.

I will not mention names but there is more than a fare deal of ego stroking in the threads found here. It just stikes me as odd at times that people seem to need their ego boosted on a almost daily basis.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

i notice this too and i think it is really just amusing. some people don't ask for it though, and get it. some seem to seek it out regularly, and get it.

either way- i don't buy into the ego stroking. i don't do it and i don't like to get it honestly.

i try to ignore the attention based threads/people and just stick to what i like on here.

[soothsayer]

I run solo in this bitch  :grin

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I wouldn't expect anything less from ya Brooke baby. :grin

I have noticed this as well Sooth and I find it rather amusing.

And I totally agree with what Bean said about the popularity contests and polls.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yup.

:devil The popularity crap does get old.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Couldn't agree more.

[Blackmail]

The worst part is that there is a formula to this stupidity.

First someone goes into the relationship forum and whines about their life and how someone screwed them over.

Then a bunch of DGNers console the person by saying things like "oh you're a great person, you don't need him/her - fuck them if they don't like you" and other stuff that they seem to get from a random consoling software program written by DGN.

The worst part is when said person is complaining about a dispute about another dgner. People always take the side of the person complaining without knowing the entire story. I've known cases where the person doing the complaining was totally in the wrong yet the responses by mindless DGNers are "you're a great person and you shouldn't waste your time on them. Fuck 'em". Well how do you know?

I have no idea what makes people come onto DGN and bitch about people other than they are so pathetic that they need validation from the mindless clones here at DGN and love the generic responses.

There are some cool people on DGN, but there are some robots as well. I know we are supposed to "play nice" but it's difficult when you see your friends attacked on here with thinly veiled posts about personal matters.

[Head Wreck]

humans are pack animals.

simple ass.

next question?

[The_Dark]

**staples hand to forhead** No one has informed me what clique I am in.... no one loves me....

[The_Dark]

Actually.. we are closer to Herd animals in behaviour.

[kellygrrrrrl]

I'm fying solo here.....

I've never "Cliqued" I'm a wanderer.....and I blend in well...You hardly notice I'm even there at 1st...then you wonder how'd she get here? When will she be leaving? Who she wit, where she from?

Yes...I need an ego boost daily.....

Please?

[kellygrrrrrl]

To go with The Dark's post....

I guess I would be the Omega.....

Aroooooooooooo! It's a full moon tonite!

[Blackmail]

I am not sure about the cliques thing though. I hang out with a the same people at CC everytime I go, mostly because those are the people I have the most in common with and enjoy talking to. It has nothing to do with wanting to be in a clique.

[torn asunder]

Actually.. we are closer to Herd animals in behaviour.

and this is why i refer to most humans as "sheeple"... :erm

:whistling

[JaneDead]

There are some cool people on DGN, but there are some robots as well. 

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ted only means me. he thinks i am the only cool person on dgn.

[Fierce Critter]

Since being on DGN, I've experienced the following:

Someone(s) going out of their way to "fuck with me" and "press my buttons" just 'cause they enjoyed the resulting upset it caused me. (I've seen it done to others as well - glaringly obviously.)

Another person later admitting to me that they KNEW this was being done to me on purpose, yet did nothing, even though they were of some influence on the board. This person had been among several I had consulted directly about the conflict WHILE it was occurring, and they outright lied, telling me I was "seeing things that weren't there" - all the while knowing what was going on.

Meeting people in person after moving back to the area who admitted to me they had been advised "not to meet me in person" by person(s) who had never met me before themselves. Thankfully, some people can think for themselves and form their own opinions.

Meeting people who had previously had a negative opinion of me - again, based on the influence of someone else - who found they really enjoyed meeting me & were sorry they'd let someone else form an opinion for them.

People who have chosen not to associate with me due to the fact that I tend to take a "Switzerland" stance, trying to remain non-judgmental and associate with all "types" of people socially - on-board and in-person.

My choosing to keep a conflict private, and the other party going public in an effort to gain support, conveniently leaving out any details that might enable those who would judge to see both sides of the coin (the sort of thing Blackmail describes above).

People lying to others about the actions of another. Directly, blatantly, and in such a way that, again, the subject of the lie has no way to defend themselves.

Between-board cattyness & feuding that is nothing more than infantile Hatfield vs. McCoy BS unbecoming people who consider themselves mature & intelligent.

Racism, bigotry, prejudice, judgment, sexism (towards both women AND men), misogyny, classism, intolerance & other like behavior - FROM PEOPLE WHO CONSIDER THEMSELVES SOCIAL OUTCASTS. The hypocrisy is astounding.

People blatantly and purposefully disrespecting others boundaries, whether they be regarding personal relationships, love-lives, marriages, needs, wants or peace of mind.

I could go on.

This sort of stuff hasn't gone on the entire life of this board. It has gotten worse over the years. It disgusts me, and for a long time now, I've felt that I should distance myself from it. What keeps me coming is the little bit of actual pleasant conversation I can weed-out once in a while, whether it be a polite political debate, information about good stores to shop at, support in a time of emotional need.

But in this most recent time I've spent mostly away from DGN, I've found I may not be doing myself any good exposing myself to the sort of things I described above. I'm seriously debating coming back full-speed ever again.

Are there cliques? I dunno. I know there are bands of people who know each other off-board due to shared activities, geographic location, that sort of thing. I know the sorts of things I describe above are often rife within cliques. Perhaps it's inevitable.

I do know one thing. DGN needs to grow up.

[Draco1958]

Their is a click here, not a clique but a click, that's where people find commonality with some people and gravitate to hang with them. Personally I have meet a few people at CC and 1 in person outside of CC and have enjoyed meeting all of them. I am however one of those people who needs an ego stroke now and then. Yes I have posted personal things but usually in a response to let the poster know I can empathize due to having had some experience on the subject. I think at one point or another we all need some ego stroking whether we realize it or not. Could be as simple as complimneting on how great a dinner was, how nice they look dressed up and so on. It's just that some need it more than others. To one a simple you look good in that is sufficent, others need more, stonger, direct ego stroking. I believe it's a deep part of human nature that surfaces on some more than others. Then again this could all be babble and I don't know anything.

[ManicQueen]

I like your ego, it's real big :grin

[Crazed Vampyress]

i can honestly say i have not noticed people seeming to be 'clique-y' or whatever you wanna call it

however i am totally oblivious to a lot of things, so its prolly happening right in front of me and ive just not seen it.

NOW the Ego-boosting, That Ive DEFINATELY seen...

[n0Mad]

I know a cannibal who would put peolpe in these large toasters and when they came out he'd put butter and syrup all over them and ... no, wait. That's the Human Eggo. :laughing