Too Real

[kat (1)]

What do people think about those that are just blunt and say whatever they feel? Is it a cry for attention? Is it it just a person's way of reaching out? Is there such a thing as being too real, or should everyone coat shit in sugar and walk around acting like life is full of utter joy and rainbows, even if they are dying inside, or just going through something in life that they need to get of their chest in lieu of losing their minds.

[phee]

IMO... there is never a reason to be anything less than honest... BUT... people that are brutally honest I have an issue with, you can tell someone the truth, even a painful truth and not be a dick about it.

Being blunt is fine, going out of your way to be harsh with your bluntness... is just the sign of a weak person.

For example, lets say you had to tell someone that they were incorrect about a fact they were insisting on... lets just make one up for now... let's say they were asserting over and over again that they invented the electric magical nose flute, and they were very happy about this.... but you found an article that Kat actually invented it in the 70's and that they are full of it (even if they don't know it).

Honest statement: "Actually, Kat developed that instrument back in the 70's while she was dating the Roger Waters, so that is incorrect."

Politely honest statement: "I am sorry, but that is incorrect, Kat developed that instrument back in the 70's while she was dating the Roger Waters, but it's cool you are both into it.

Unnecessarily brutal honest statement (as spoken by douchecrews): "Dude, get a fucking clue and do some research, Kat developed that instrument back in the 70's while she was dating the Roger Waters, stop talking without thinking you son of a Piglious."

(I do find it funny that people who are unnecessarily rude with their statements, true or not, always act all defensive when called on it... they say things like "Hey I am just telling it like it is." or "I am just calling a spade a spade." or "I am just being blunt if you can't handle it it's your problem" or some other bullshit... No THE FACT THAT YOU CAN'T BE POLITE IS YOUR PROBLEM YOU FUCKING WASTE OF YOUR MOTHER AND FATHER'S CELLS---oh and by the way if that last statement sounded harsh? I am just telling it like it is )

[creatureofthenyte]

Sometimes brutal honesty is needed.

Sometimes that is the only way someone will get your point.

You can't always be nice about it.

However, you can be tactful.

If I had to choose between someone being honest with me, or not hurting my feelings, I would choose honesty.

I could always forgive someone for hurting my feelings; but I can't forgive dishonesty.

[Eevee]

I think some people just prefer to be brutally honest. Its just the way they function.

I agree with phee, its when they go out of their way with the honesty to the point of harming the person somehow, when it is not needed, where it may be more for attention. Or the person is just really pissed off.

Either or.

[kat (1)]

Yes, I agree as well, you can be honest while still respecting a person, and you can also be tactful about it.

I asked this question because I was concerned about my anger and lashing out regarding an issue that occurred over the weekend with me. (Phee you know what I am talking about). I felt kinda stupid because I was so upset and angry, because, this issue is very big for me, personally, I know that I post alot of shit that can be whiny and can appear as attention seeking, but I actually am not an attention seeker at all, I just feel like I can vent things here, and I have a dark, twisted sense of humor also. I get upset, whine, and moan, but than end up laughing about it, it's my coping mechanism. I don't like people who lie and when caught in a lie, they lose all credibility.

[Eevee]

Yeah, I don't see that as attention-seeking. I can get pretty blunt with people on here and its either because I'm pissy or because I feel that it needs to be said.

I'm honest with people.

I don't see a point in lying.

I'm more afraid of the outcome of someone catching me in a huge lie then someone disapproving of what honestly happened or what I'm honestly thinking.

[kat (1)]

Yeah, I don't see that as attention-seeking. I can get pretty blunt with people on here and its either because I'm pissy or because I feel that it needs to be said.

I'm honest with people.

I don't see a point in lying.

I'm more afraid of the outcome of someone catching me in a huge lie then someone disapproving of what honestly happened or what I'm honestly thinking.

exactly!

You know, we go to work, come home, some of us don't have people to vent or talk to so it's like a sounding board for, well me at least, I can't come home and bitch about stuff to my daughter, so I just do it here, otherwise I would not have any adult interaction, except for the minimal contact I have with co-workers, and I prefer to fly under the radar at work. I think I been to one socialization thing with them in 15 or 16 months.

As blunt as I am, though, I am actually ashamed and feeling worthless about what has recently transpired, I usually have no shame but I have found an issue that I am so afraid to talk about, out of fear of being looked at like a piece of shit, or trash, or deviant.

I so want to scream, though.

Edited November 2, 2010 by kat

[Eevee]

Aww...don't feel that way!

I don't know what happened, but don't let it take over your mind like that. Shit happens and is later forgotten.

[kat (1)]

Aww...don't feel that way!

I don't know what happened, but don't let it take over your mind like that. Shit happens and is later forgotten.

It's really bad, it is life changing, I can potentially become, homeless, (am 99% percent sure I will be jobless, just waiting for HR to call me back. I was screwed over by the city of Detroit court system and police and they don't care. I feel like shit.

[DJ Nocker]

*resists temptation*

(your welcome, Phee)

[kat (1)]

*resists temptation*

(your welcome, Phee)

Please, oh please, we need your honest opinion.

[prick]

Im not a fan of brutal honesty unless its an intervention or something. Honesty with tact is the way.

[Scar My Machine]

IMO... there is never a reason to be anything less than honest... BUT... people that are brutally honest I have an issue with, you can tell someone the truth, even a painful truth and not be a dick about it.

Being blunt is fine, going out of your way to be harsh with your bluntness... is just the sign of a weak person.

Unnecessarily brutal honest statement (as spoken by douchecrews): "Dude, get a fucking clue and do some research, Kat developed that instrument back in the 70's while she was dating the Roger Waters, stop talking without thinking you son of a Piglious."

(I do find it funny that people who are unnecessarily rude with their statements, true or not, always act all defensive when called on it... they say things like "Hey I am just telling it like it is." or "I am just calling a spade a spade." or "I am just being blunt if you can't handle it it's your problem" or some other bullshit... No THE FACT THAT YOU CAN'T BE POLITE IS YOUR PROBLEM YOU FUCKING WASTE OF YOUR MOTHER AND FATHER'S CELLS---oh and by the way if that last statement sounded harsh? I am just telling it like it is )

I agree with Phee. I have noticed (just my opinion now) that there seems to be a "type" of personality that thinks being rude (they call it brutal honesty) is perfectly ok to do to others (it's almost as if they enjoy it).

I mean, really, if someone doesn't have the intellect to know how to say something with a level of kindness I tend to think they are the one with some sort of issue and that maybe they need help. Some call it weakness (sure, maybe) but I myself tend to think it's a lack of learning on their part.

I feel the "blunt" person really needs to learn how to express themselves in a better manner. It's not about "sugar coating" or "pretending everything is nice" it's about treating others in a respectful manner (again, imo).

BTW Phee, Roger Waters? You a Pink Floyd fan?

[DJ Nocker]

I guess im what Phee calls " a weak person" Because I am brutally honest and I dont give a damn if I offend you. There is no need to always be polite and to act like you should is just stupid. Hey, we should all tuck our shirts in and eat cheerios for breakfast, gonna do that to? And trust, me, if I wanted attention, I would go someplace else for it, not a ghost forum where the majority of the posts are by mods. I go on this site to post play lists, find potential DJ gigs, and to pass my bored time at work because a lot of sites I like o frequent are blocked on my work computer. Sorry Phee, I am taking one of your quotes "Im just calling it like it is, if you cant handle it, TUFF". For crying out loud, your on a "goth forum" chances are you have been called out on shit your whole life, arent you a little hardend from it by now? I mean honestly...

[phee]

Yes to the Pink Floyd question.

[bean]

For some people, I think they enjoy being an asshole. It is possible to be brutally honest without being a dick.

[phee]

For some people, I think they enjoy being an asshole. It is possible to be brutally honest without being a dick.

Why the need to be brutal though? Is not honesty enough?

[bean]

Why the need to be brutal though? Is not honesty enough?

This is true. There is no need for brutal.

[Scar My Machine]

I guess im what Phee calls " a weak person" Because I am brutally honest and I dont give a damn if I offend you. There is no need to always be polite and to act like you should is just stupid. Hey, we should all tuck our shirts in and eat cheerios for breakfast, gonna do that to? And trust, me, if I wanted attention, I would go someplace else for it, not a ghost forum where the majority of the posts are by mods. I go on this site to post play lists, find potential DJ gigs, and to pass my bored time at work because a lot of sites I like o frequent are blocked on my work computer. Sorry Phee, I am taking one of your quotes "Im just calling it like it is, if you cant handle it, TUFF". For crying out loud, your on a "goth forum" chances are you have been called out on shit your whole life, arent you a little hardend from it by now? I mean honestly...

Sounds a bit bitter but I could be wrong.

As for the "hardened from it by now" question I feel I have to say......

If your reason for being harsh with your "honesty" is because you've been hurt in the past then I suppose you could go through life feeling as though you have to hurt someone else in order to protect yourself from any potential future hurts. If you need to justify it I also suppose you'll put any type of label on it that will satisfy your feelings about it. (that was not directed at DJ Knocker or anyone else here, just a generalized statement).

Now for myself, I don't don't feel I need to possibly either A) make someone an enemy or hate me or be really pissed at me just because I had to tell them something. Life is filled enough with bullshit without me adding even more to other people's day. But that's just me, if "you" feel it's ok to pile on shit to someone because they are making some false statement about something that doesn't matter when the day is done well, imo, that's just petty. But you are free to do so I suppose.

I have a friend that always has to one up everyone's story, he's always "done more" than him, "traveled more" than her, blah blah blah. I think it's sad that he's always saying such things. Does it effect my life? Not one bit. Is he a good person? Yes when it comes down to it and where it matters. He's generally a very good guy. Despite any "stories" that may or may not be true. Should I or anyone else say "hey ass**** - stop telling stories" - I would say no, just leave it be.

Now, if someone were telling children it was ok to eat led paint I'd say hell yes, don't be nice about it. But as for other stuff.....no. Do blunt people really have so much free time that they need to go out of their way to be "blunt"? I mean, c'mon now, are you hurt by?

I say, unless you enjoy being treated that way (which I'm willing to bet most blunt people don't like being spoken to in that manner) you really should re-evaluate how you say things to others.

Again, all that is just my opinion, not directed at any one person.

[phee]

Basically... I am making the assumption that when one is being honest, it is to communicate something clearly in order to get the information across, if they are being brutal or (harsh) when they are delivering the information the information can get lost or distorted.

For example: If someone says to me "The road ahead is full of potholes, so drive carefully." I will remember that the road is full of pot holes and that I should drive carefully.

But

If someone says "Hey Phee, you usually suck at driving, and the road ahead is full of pot holes, so because you drive like an idiot, your car is probably going to break you twit." What I will remember is that the person speaking to me is a shit-head, whether I am hardened or not... the information is getting distorted and lost by the "brutal" part of the message.

People who are not being respectful and polite when they speak to you evidently don't give a shit if they are understood or not... so the question is, why are you bothering?

Blunt does not have to mean being a dick... (as bean said). Heck even if you are just matter of fact about it, usually thats fine... without being a dick for no reason.

[torn asunder]

I guess im what Phee calls " a weak person" Because I am brutally honest and I dont give a damn if I offend you. There is no need to always be polite and to act like you should is just stupid. Hey, we should all tuck our shirts in and eat cheerios for breakfast, gonna do that to? And trust, me, if I wanted attention, I would go someplace else for it, not a ghost forum where the majority of the posts are by mods. I go on this site to post play lists, find potential DJ gigs, and to pass my bored time at work because a lot of sites I like o frequent are blocked on my work computer. Sorry Phee, I am taking one of your quotes "Im just calling it like it is, if you cant handle it, TUFF". For crying out loud, your on a "goth forum" chances are you have been called out on shit your whole life, arent you a little hardend from it by now? I mean honestly...

well, since we're being honest, you really come across like an ass in this post. if you're going to disparage this board, (ghost forum? please...) just do us all a favor & stop coming here. it's pretty simple, really. if you dig boards where flaming is acceptable, go there - it's not acceptable here. don't like it? go away.

[KatRN05]

well, since we're being honest, you really come across like an ass in this post. if you're going to disparage this board, (ghost forum? please...) just do us all a favor & stop coming here. it's pretty simple, really. if you dig boards where flaming is acceptable, go there - it's not acceptable here. don't like it? go away.

I completely agree. You don't like it, don't come here.

Edited November 2, 2010 by KatRN05

[bean]

well, since we're being honest, you really come across like an ass in this post. if you're going to disparage this board, (ghost forum? please...) just do us all a favor & stop coming here. it's pretty simple, really. if you dig boards where flaming is acceptable, go there - it's not acceptable here. don't like it? go away.

[Eevee]

This thread seems to be becoming a nuisance.

[phee]

This thread seems to be becoming a nuisance.

Yep.... I think it is a bit... off the rails.....