Menopause, anyone?

[pomba gira]

Is anyone else here going thru menopause? More to the point, does anyone else think it's a total hoot? I can't understand why all those women used to call the county health clinic where I once worked, hysterically shrieking "I need my Premarin RIGHT NOOOOWWW!!!" (I am not exaggerating in the slightest, either). The hot flashes are annoying but also funny as hell. The dryness is a bit of a bummer, but nothing a little AstroGlide won't fix. The whole thing is like being 12 again- you have absolutely no idea what goofy thing your body will do next. Only part that bugs me is never knowing when I'm going to menstruate next... but I guess that's just 'cos I've always been very regular right from the start. So I'm just wondering if anyone else, or any of your family members, has felt like menopause is a big funny joke, rather than some ultimate trauma? Or is this just another way I'm totally abnormal and warped?

[JaneDead]

it has not happened to me yet but i used to work with women who were all starting to go through it, were going through it for years already or just about coasting out of it.

i must say it was a sight to see and i don't look forward to it.

they weren't all bad though, but some of them were a wreck. my boss, she was the worst. she was always hot/sweaty/flashing/hormonal/weird. i felt bad for the poor lady. but sometimes i felt way worse for us.

[Nienna]

My girl stuff has... issues. I've been put into chemical menopause once, and experienced an extreme hormone imbalance before, resulting in pre-menopausal symptoms. I was miserable! Literally, I gained a million pounds, was a total bitch, was basically suicidal, and the night sweats really sucked. I'm really glad my body normalized again and I shouldn't have to go through it again for many years. I guess my mom and grandma had a horrible time too... Maybe you're just lucky??

[Lilith]

I cant wait to go through meneopause even if it is bad, just so i dont have to do this monthly crap any more. I already had my tubes tied, and i have no use for those parts any more, As it stands now my period causes me all kinds of terriable mood swings and every one hates me for about 2 weeks every month. I just want to have it all done n over with.

lilith

[Brenda Starrr]

I haven't begun yet. I'm not even sure what else to expect, besides the usual listed above. Part of me is so looking forward to getting all of this female crap over with. The other dreads it. I don't enjoy sweating at all. I'm only mildy premenstrual at this point, which I guess Wayne appreciates. I don't think it's fair that we go through it, and men don't.

[pomba gira]

Ha, guess I'm just goofy in yet another way! I used to think a lot of it had to do with culture... working at the clinic (& in other health care settings) I couldn't help but notice, the Premarin jonesers were invariably caucasian. And menopause seems to be less traumatic in general in our community (altho there is plenty of complaining about it!). But people tend to equate "culturally based" with "psychological" with "it's all in your head and therefore your own fault"- which is a totally inaccurate assumption, but there you have it. So maybe genetic is a better way to put it than cultural. (damn I wish I didn't spend so much time overanalyzing everything!) Anyway, my mom says it wasn't bad for her, but she doesn't quite understand why I find it so funny... but then, she didn't understand why I was so thrilled by my first gray hairs, either.

[Fierce Critter]

I'm looking forward to it myself.

If my parts are anything like the rest of the femmes in my family, however, I'll probably end up with a hysterectomy in my 40's. Uterine polyps run in the family, and my mother and oldest sister both had hysterectomies because of them in their early 40's.

I'm not looking forward to the hormone thing. But I'm already settled and happy in the fact that I don't want children, and my husband had a vasectomy. So I say, BRING IT ON!!!

[JaneDead]

yeah i have already had my kids, i am done so i am pretty much ready for it too.

i say bring it on too! though i hope it is not too bad ... at this point i am not too worried about it.

[pomba gira]

I'm not looking forward to the hormone thing. But I'm already settled and happy in the fact that I don't want children, and my husband had a vasectomy. So I say, BRING IT ON!!!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

wow another childless-by-choice woman... seems like there aren't too many of us around!

[Fierce Critter]

wow another childless-by-choice woman... seems like there aren't too many of us around!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yeah. This is probably worth a thread of it's own. I have gotten tired over the years of having to deal with people insisting I'm making the biggest mistake of my life. I'm sure you relate.

[pomba gira]

Yeah. This is probably worth a thread of it's own. I have gotten tired over the years of having to deal with people insisting I'm making the biggest mistake of my life. I'm sure you relate.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I got my tubes tied at age 24 & have never regretted it for a second. I love being an auntie, but the idea of being a mom just never appealed. & the whole childbearing process has always sounded totally un-fun to me.

Interestingly, I've found women who have children to be the most accepting of my choice... especially older women. A whooole lot ov them say things like "I love my kids but if I had it to do over I wouldn't have any" or "I love my kids but I wish we'd had that choice when I was young" or "I love my kids but I never enjoyed it while I was raising them" or "I love my kids but I only had them 'cos it was what you were supposed to do". More than anything else, these "confessions" have convinced me I made the right choice.

[honeymustard02]

I'm not even old enough to think about going through this yet! lol

[Homicidalheathen]

You know what I really really hate? The fact that I wake up soaking wet about 3 times a night. And yet I am freezing. I hate being female. I am going to reincarnate as a gay male I swear.

[Nienna]

wow another childless-by-choice woman... seems like there aren't too many of us around!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Another one right here. (My roomie too) My doctor is so obsessed with maintaining my fertility, that he refuses to do procedures that will eliminate it, but relieve many of my troubles. It's rediculous. I informed him I never intended to have, or want children and he just smiled in this condescending way and said "you'll change your mind". No, I won't!!!! *L*

[Fierce Critter]

Jon and I were married 2 years when we decided to go through with the vasectomy. Actually, I would have gladly had my tubes tied, but he refused to let me go under the knife.

We talked it over that entire 2 years. And we were sure of our decision. And the more time that goes by, the more sure we are we made the right choice.

But Jon was barely 21 when he decided to have the procedure, and you should have seen the barriers we dealt with. A lot of doctors wouldn't perform it on a male less than 25 or 30 years old who had not had a child already - as if that's supposed to be what convinces a man whether he's making the right decision or not. Thank goodness we found someone who took the time to listen to both of us and recognize that we were wise enough and mature enough to know this is what was absolutely right for us.

I get the most flack from young mothers or expectant mothers. I've been accused of "protesting too much" when I defend my decision. Not hardly. I just get real tired of there being such a one-sided view of this issue, and feel people proselytize at me enough about how WRONG I am, I want to throw back just as much at them.

By the way, do you know there are groups out there just for people who have chosen to remain childless? I forget the name of the groups. I investigated joining one once, but all the couples were at least a decade older than Jon and me, and we just couldn't relate to them.

[honeymustard02]

I don't think it's that a lot of people are closed minded. I think in this world today people expect you to have kids. It's just how they think it should go.

Just like my boyfriend and I. Everyone wants to know when we're getting married and I don't know if I want to. I want to stay with him but I don't think marriage would really add to our lives. It's just a piece of paper and a big party.

It's just ingrained in up I guess that when we meet "The One", then you settle down and have kids. People don't realize that you don't HAVE to.

P.S I think it's cool that you guys are sticking to your guns though. If kids ain't your thing then fine.

[JaneDead]

I'm not even old enough to think about going through this yet! lol

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

that is not true at all. women can go through menopause at 19

[pomba gira]

Another one right here. (My roomie too) My doctor is so obsessed with maintaining my fertility, that he refuses to do procedures that will eliminate it, but relieve many of my troubles. It's rediculous. I informed him I never intended to have, or want children and he just smiled  in this condescending way and said "you'll change your mind". No, I won't!!!! *L*

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

That's INFURIATING. And a big reason why I don't go to male docs. Fortunately I was in California when I had mine done. Only thing the doc said was "I just have to ask because you are very young, what are your reasons for wanting to do this?" She was very respectful about it and accepted my answer without question; I felt that she was just making sure I understood what I was deciding. I know it would've been a much bigger issue back here in the hinterlands, esp. back then (mid-'80s). Around the same time, my cousin was refused a TL at age 22 and she already had 3 kids!

I don't think it's that a lot of people are closed minded. I think in this world today people expect you to have kids. It's just how they think it should go.

 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I would say that's a pretty good definition of "closed-minded"- being unable to question one's own ideas of "how it should go". Sorry if I sound harsh, but I spend my days with screwed-up little kids whose mothers very obviously didn't bother to consider whether parenthood was really a good idea.

that is not true at all. women can go through menopause at 19

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

True dat... youngest I've known personally started in her early 30s. No woman is safe- MUAHAHAHAHA!

[Fierce Critter]

While fishing today with my husband, a newlywed co-worker of his and his wife showed up. The wife asked me, "don't you ever want to have kids?" and rather than the usual self-effacing, apologetic, half-lie I've said in the past, "Probably not", I was blunt and said, "Nope. Never. Don't like 'em, don't want 'em."

"Really?" was the response, with an almost imperceptable shake of the head.

I'm glad I'm finally able to get more blunt about it, though. And then my husband and I were making cracks about taking a kid fishing - and using them for bait. :devil

[pomba gira]

I've always tried to be very up front about it... I figure maybe this person is looking for some validation of their own doubts about having children. Maybe by talking to me she'll find the courage to go against all the aunties who are urging her to reproduce asap. Or at least give some serious consideration to her own reasons for wanting kids. I know that sounds helly conceited, but... I really have had experiences that prove even a few words can have a big impact on someone else's life... so I'm very mindful of that.

[sinnaminn]

My mom took prempro and she had to have it.She was a trip all the way through that phase!

What I really wanted to say here was that I admire all you ladies who chose to be childless.I love my children but I realise that there are so many things that I'll never be able to do because I chose to be a mom.It's funny I came from a family where all the woman had kids and sometimes lots of kids,so I never even considered not having kids.It never dawned on me that I could make that choice.I suppose somewhere along the way I started to think that I would be incomplete without children just by having been raised with this notion that if you are a woman you must breed.I almost feel like I was a sheep following the herd.I think you have made a wonderful choice.I have two kids and thats where I stop.I had a tubes tied last june and it gave me an overwhelming sense of freedom.

[Nienna]

I'd love to say something "noble" about not wanting to bring a child into this messed up world, but, in all honesty, my decision to not bear children is a combination of pure selfishness (I know I don't have the discipline to give up my life for a child) and my REALLY messed up reproductive system. I'm comfortable with these reasons, but alot of people seem to think I'm a monster. I've also had people decide not to date me after discussing my choice.

[honeymustard02]

that is not true at all. women can go through menopause at 19

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I know it can, but it's not all that common I believe.

[Fierce Critter]

Nienna, there's nobility in recognizing that you prefer a lifestyle that isn't beneficial to children - and CHOOSING to not inflict that lifestyle on a child that deserves more.

That's where Jon and me stand. We admit our self-centeredness. We admit we live to have fun - and having children, to us, is NOT FUN. We are selfish, self-serving and don't care to be "bogged down" with the responsibilities of a child.

To bring a child into such a relationship would be, to me, the ultimate act of selfishness - to say to one's self, "I want a fly-by-night life - oh, and I want a child too, so I'll go ahead and have one" would be incredibly abusive to a child.

Better to recognize which is your priority, and stick with it.

My mother admitted to me years ago that she was very happy with all of our (me & my 4 sisters) choices not to have children. She has one single grandchild from my brother, and couldn't care less. Without her putting it into words, it's become obvious that my mother never wanted any of the 6 children she bore. Actually, a better way of putting it would be that if the "rhythm method" of Catholic-acceptable birth control had been successful 6 more times, she would have been fine with that. She didn't abuse any of us - but looking back, it's clear to me she wasn't all that "into" motherhood.

[Fierce Critter]

Oh, Kichijoten? I find it incredibly ironic that, upon googling your screename, one of the results said that Kichijoten is a fertility goddess.

There were more, and I assume you're referencing a different diety, but I thought that quite funny.