Jump to content

2012, a Spook Odyssey

n0Mad

Recommended Posts

n0Mad Collaborator

n0Mad

Posted
Posted

Alright folks. I'm starting my presidential campaign three years early. First off, don't vote for me because I really don't want the job and I'm highly unqualified for it. The whole reason I'm here is to raise the bar for the other guys and gals so America might get somebody good for once. It's been at least 20 years since America has really been happy with who is in office.

My main platform is Power to the People (P2P). The government is supposed to be by the people, for the people but for too long Washington has hoarded control. Screw spreading the wealth; I'm going to spread the power. I'm going to severely cripple the federal government's power and return it to where it belongs, the individual states where the people can have more of a say with regional elections.

I know some of you are pissed at me now because I said, "Screw spreading the wealth." So, let's talk taxes then. How about "Keeping the wealth"? Before WWI, the US didn't have an income tax. During WWI it was temporary to fund the war effort and when the war was over, the tax was too. During WWII, the income tax was reinstated, again, to fund the war effort. After WWII, for some reason the tax stayed and the feds came up with a host of new ways to spend your money. Doesn't seem fair to me so I'm getting rid of it. The federal tax that is, not your money. I'm letting you keep that. As much as I can anyway. Not much I can do about state taxes. "But if you ditch the tax," I hear you saying, "how will you pay for all those government programs?" Good question and the answer is, I won't. I'm getting rid of most of those too. Sure, there are some worth keeping but those can be funded with other income sources. You want a program, talk to your state.

There should only need be one law in existence - "Do smart things." But many people have trouble with that so a second law is needed - "If you can't do smart things, don't do stupid things." But, smart and stupid are subjective so laws are a necessity. But please, there are some pretty stupid laws out there like "It is unlawful to tie your pet alligator to a fire hydrant." Do you really need a law to tell you that? That is why I am creating the Federal Department of Common Sense. These agents will patrol the nation and cite people for acts of stupidity. If you agree with the citation, that you in fact did something pretty stupid (we've all been there, it's okay), then you just pay the ticket and that money can help fund those federal programs I've decided to keep. But if you feel that your actions weren't stupid, then you can have it arbitrated in court by a jury of peers. If the majority feel that yes, your actions were stupid, then the ticket stands. This also brings me to my second major platform ...

Sunsets. I'm not talking about when the sky turns pretty colors in the evening, but rather expiration dates on laws. First, we'll go through the books with a scrubber and eliminate all those lame ass laws like the alligator/hydrant one mentioned above. (Did you know in Michigan it is unlawful for a man to seduce a woman to the point of debauchery? I thought the whole point of seduction was to get laid. But I guess in Michigan, third base is as far as you're getting legally. Yeah, that law is gone.) Next, all new laws must include an expiration date. After a period of 2-10 years, the law sunsets and comes up for renewal. If the law was ineffectual, it's scrapped. If the law seems to have worked or it's inconclusive to tell just yet, it's renewed for another term after which it sunsets again. After the second sunset, the process repeats. By the third sunset, if it's still inconclusive, then the law is scrapped. If you haven't figured out it's efficacy by now, then something is wrong. Thank you for playing, try again with a new law later. But, if by the third sunset it seems to be working, then the law is made permanent.

Well, that's my first wave of campaigning. I'll write more later after I've gotten some rest and can think some more. If you have any questions or issues you would like me to address, the floor is open for questions and comments.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Rev.Reverence Newbie

Rev.Reverence

Posted
Posted

I like pants

...yes....you do..(I have seen this post MANY times){so I assume this issue is PARAMOUNT for you & your peoples)...which brings me to my greatest problem: building my "base"...as a Politician MUST draw their base from their sub-Culture..(traditionally)..

..for me; that means UNIFYING THE FREIK NATIONS...which are CLEARLY divided into those who "LIKE pants", & those who "DO NOT WEAR pants"....

(there is also a small faction of "pant-HATERS"...but I don't want to be associated with ANY "hate-groups" at all so I'm not worried about them.)

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest greyhalo

Guest greyhalo

Posted
Posted

Well, if you don't mind another bald man on the ticket, I'll be your running mate. And hey, I'm all about a good pair of pants... nice pants defines my style. I'm not above a kilt once ina while though.

I think baldness should be a requirement for his running mate.

I like baldness like Phee likes pants.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
SaGa Newbie

SaGa

Posted
Posted

Alright folks. I'm starting my presidential campaign three years early. First off, don't vote for me because I really don't want the job and I'm highly unqualified for it. The whole reason I'm here is to raise the bar for the other guys and gals so America might get somebody good for once. It's been at least 20 years since America has really been happy with who is in office.

My main platform is Power to the People (P2P). The government is supposed to be by the people, for the people but for too long Washington has hoarded control. Screw spreading the wealth; I'm going to spread the power. I'm going to severely cripple the federal government's power and return it to where it belongs, the individual states where the people can have more of a say with regional elections.

I know some of you are pissed at me now because I said, "Screw spreading the wealth." So, let's talk taxes then. How about "Keeping the wealth"? Before WWI, the US didn't have an income tax. During WWI it was temporary to fund the war effort and when the war was over, the tax was too. During WWII, the income tax was reinstated, again, to fund the war effort. After WWII, for some reason the tax stayed and the feds came up with a host of new ways to spend your money. Doesn't seem fair to me so I'm getting rid of it. The federal tax that is, not your money. I'm letting you keep that. As much as I can anyway. Not much I can do about state taxes. "But if you ditch the tax," I hear you saying, "how will you pay for all those government programs?" Good question and the answer is, I won't. I'm getting rid of most of those too. Sure, there are some worth keeping but those can be funded with other income sources. You want a program, talk to your state.

There should only need be one law in existence - "Do smart things." But many people have trouble with that so a second law is needed - "If you can't do smart things, don't do stupid things." But, smart and stupid are subjective so laws are a necessity. But please, there are some pretty stupid laws out there like "It is unlawful to tie your pet alligator to a fire hydrant." Do you really need a law to tell you that? That is why I am creating the Federal Department of Common Sense. These agents will patrol the nation and cite people for acts of stupidity. If you agree with the citation, that you in fact did something pretty stupid (we've all been there, it's okay), then you just pay the ticket and that money can help fund those federal programs I've decided to keep. But if you feel that your actions weren't stupid, then you can have it arbitrated in court by a jury of peers. If the majority feel that yes, your actions were stupid, then the ticket stands. This also brings me to my second major platform ...

Sunsets. I'm not talking about when the sky turns pretty colors in the evening, but rather expiration dates on laws. First, we'll go through the books with a scrubber and eliminate all those lame ass laws like the alligator/hydrant one mentioned above. (Did you know in Michigan it is unlawful for a man to seduce a woman to the point of debauchery? I thought the whole point of seduction was to get laid. But I guess in Michigan, third base is as far as you're getting legally. Yeah, that law is gone.) Next, all new laws must include an expiration date. After a period of 2-10 years, the law sunsets and comes up for renewal. If the law was ineffectual, it's scrapped. If the law seems to have worked or it's inconclusive to tell just yet, it's renewed for another term after which it sunsets again. After the second sunset, the process repeats. By the third sunset, if it's still inconclusive, then the law is scrapped. If you haven't figured out it's efficacy by now, then something is wrong. Thank you for playing, try again with a new law later. But, if by the third sunset it seems to be working, then the law is made permanent.

Well, that's my first wave of campaigning. I'll write more later after I've gotten some rest and can think some more. If you have any questions or issues you would like me to address, the floor is open for questions and comments.

i swear you took this from ron paul. well it seems very ron paulish, not bad at all. im all for giving states more power to govern themselfs. shouldnt have so many fed laws on stupid small things. thats the states choice. this includes the war on drugs

Link to comment
Share on other sites
n0Mad Collaborator

n0Mad

Posted
  • Author
Posted

shouldnt have so many fed laws on stupid small things. thats the states choice. this includes the war on drugs

I'm glad you brought this up and I agree with you. I aim to decriminalize drugs. Mind you, I didn't say legalize them; I said decriminalize them. It will be up to the states to determine their level of control. Any drugs that are legalized (I anticipate marijuana being the first and most wide-spread) will be taxed and regulated in a fashion similar to alcohol and tobacco.

Also, I would like to encourage the states to overhaul their penal systems. I fully believe in "innocent until proven guilty" laid out in our Constitution and I have faith in the greater good of humanity. I think we need to be, dare I say, understanding and compassionate for first offenses. Our current levels in many areas are not too bad. But repeat offenses piss me off. I think the punishments should increase not incrementally but exponentially.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Goth Brooks Newbie

Goth Brooks

Posted
Posted

I think we need to be, dare I say, understanding and compassionate for first offenses. Our current levels in many areas are not too bad. But repeat offenses piss me off. I think the punishments should increase not incrementally but exponentially.

I have to disagree with this. When a dog messes on the carpet, you don't give him a sit down talking to and a time out... you grab him by the scruff, rub his nose in it, and wack him with a paper.

"But Robert, people aren't dogs!"

You're right, dogs are smart enough to not mess on the carpet after enough whippings.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
n0Mad Collaborator

n0Mad

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I have to disagree with this. When a dog messes on the carpet, you don't give him a sit down talking to and a time out... you grab him by the scruff, rub his nose in it, and wack him with a paper.

"But Robert, people aren't dogs!"

You're right, dogs are smart enough to not mess on the carpet after enough whippings.

So you're saying that a cop should never let you off for a speeding ticket? Ever? For any reason?

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Destroit Collaborator

Destroit

Posted
Posted

As long as you don't shoot moose from helicopters I would vote for you....

Damn...so you're not going to vote for me just because of that? Wtf...? It only happened like twice and it was a really long time ago, geezus.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
phee Enthusiast

phee

Posted
Posted

Damn...so you're not going to vote for me just because of that? Wtf...? It only happened like twice and it was a really long time ago, geezus.

But.... Skinny Puppy are for animal rights..... so I guess its OK as long as you don't mind the occasional moose shooting at you from a helicopter

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Goth Brooks Newbie

Goth Brooks

Posted
Posted

So you're saying that a cop should never let you off for a speeding ticket? Ever? For any reason?

Should they? Ever?

No, they shouldn't, ever.

It's not the cop's job to decide a law breaker's fine, it's the statute/judge/jury's.

But they are allowed to. It is that cop's personal prerogative to give you a warning, rather than fine you for disobeying the law.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing

  • Forum Statistics

    38.8k
    Total Topics
    819.6k
    Total Posts

  • Who's Online   1 Member, 0 Anonymous, 17 Guests (See full list)

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.

  I accept