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How Are You Feeling?


Troy Spiral

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Oh yea and since I air all my ddirty laundry on here, I feel I should wash my clothes and start airing good possible news. ...I have a pending job offer right now, we are negotiating salary right now as of yesterday. . (I.e. they called me and talked me down on what I asked for, I off course jumped at it being that I need a stable thing) but I hear final word Wednesday after the big man comes back and hid assistant tells him I said yes. Also, this place was so motivational and uplifting and empowering to the clients, the agency has the same beliefs about psychiatry and mental health as I so being an advocate, speaker, and being real about my beliefs with them flowedwith them. ...see, I knew IiI'd find something like this existed. My perception is that it was perfect for me two minutes after I walked in that door. This is good.

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Feeling like no matter what I did, I couldn't change my fate. I know most people don't believe in that kind of stuff, but growing up, we tried hard to not make the inevitable happen. Regardless - life happened...

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I hate crashing at male friends house they think they can fucking grab you and shit like your there own personal whore. I can't do dick about it but say stop asshole. FML right now. Thought being 40 lbs fatter would be like dickhead repellent, god I would hate to see if I were actually cute. Pigs, man, fucking pigs. It's my fault I fucking did this to myself and now I want to break things.

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Wish my mom would stop blaming me for things she did. I didn't ruin her life, I can't control what my dad did, she should have gave us to the government, they raised us, feed us, clothed us, all she did was keep squatting in that house of horror for years, throw shit at us when she was too lazy too get up and hit us or too depressed too realize she needed help and now we can't even talk to her without her crying saying it should not of mattered how she raised us because she loved us or that our house wasn't that bad, that's why the city tore that muthafucker down when we left, running from CPS. She needs to own her shit, I am fucking homeless with my kid right now, it's bad, it's temporary but if I was ever that unable to be a mother I'd call CPS on myself. Were not squatting, were not in filth, she goes to school everyday, clean, she sleeps at night, she's feed. ..and I talk ti her about the bullshit, I expect her to hate me for this one day. . .I'm ashamed but at least unlike my mom I'm not in denial.

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Feels like it's going to be one of those days where we, the citizens of the City of Detroit, get to clean up the messes created by they, the officials governing the City of Detroit. Thanks for giving us a bad reputation yet again...what would we ever do without you... :dry:

...but don't get me started because the possibilities are endless... :evil:

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All I can feel is anger right now.

Thanks to all those TV shows with massive crews rebuilding and remodeling homes in what looks like 3-5 days for $0 to the owners, I get compared to and reprimanded regularly for not having a massive 24-hour crew and getting stuff done like yesterday while possessing an arsenal of impossible tools and an abundance of magic materials that appear as needed.

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All I can feel is anger right now.

Thanks to all those TV shows with massive crews rebuilding and remodeling homes in what looks like 3-5 days for $0 to the owners, I get compared to and reprimanded regularly for not having a massive 24-hour crew and getting stuff done like yesterday while possessing an arsenal of impossible tools and an abundance of magic materials that appear as needed.

Lol that's crazy. Some people never truly understand or appreciate how much work goes into something like that. Like, yeah, we can just build this 5 bedroom 2 1/2 bath house in 3 days, sure no problem, and pigs might fly out of my butt..

That's when you throw down the nailgun and tell them to build it themfuckinselves :D

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Lol that's crazy. Some people never truly understand or appreciate how much work goes into something like that. Like, yeah, we can just build this 5 bedroom 2 1/2 bath house in 3 days, sure no problem, and pigs might fly out of my butt..

That's when you throw down the nailgun and tell them to build it themfuckinselves :D

BLOODY BRILLIANT!!!!

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    • It's going to be quiet without you, and I hope you're not gone for too long. Take care of yourself, and don't let life's shit get you down.
    • I'm bout 30 minutes from arriving back "home" or where our home will have formerly been as soon as i set foot on the soil and have to immediately start moving everything and everyone out. I may not post again here for a long time. Been swell knowin' yall, thanks for puttin' up with my nonsense when i be on my 5150 $ĥ¡†. May the sun always shine upon y'all and your lives never know darkness... or idk wtf, was tryna think of a clever way to say "best wishes bitches" lol. Peace out✌️ 
    • No, especially now that you told me to.   I've been done for a while anyway.  Also healthcare is a joke and I just refuse to play that game. This is my form of "quiet quitting."
    • I'm not a doctor but that sounds like a major gastrointestinal problem and is one of this things that basically everyone says to get checked out immediately.   I don't know where you live but I will drag you kicking and screaming to get it checked if you don't go soon. If you die on us, I will dig up your grave and kill you a second time. Take it seriously.
    • I'm sorry they suck so hard.  I'm also sorry to say that it's very likely because of how you look with all the tattoos, piercings, garb, and whatnot.  They probably thought you were there for drugs especially if there isn't anything obviously wrong (and if there was something obviously wrong like a lead pipe sticking out of your leg they might think you did that to yourself just to get drugs.) But admittedly they're a bit jaded because SO MANY people do go actually just trying to score drugs. My mother was in constant pain the last ten years of her life, and even more when the cancer showed up.  She said it was the worst pain of her life.   Pain management is a fucking joke that just isn't  and never has been funny, but they keep telling it anyway. They also can tend to be super judgy on top of the general distrust because it's a religious hospital network.  I think we're lucky they're not still trying to use leeches at this point.     You should have sued their asses.  At least it didn't diminish her quality of life longterm.   Doctors are arrogant assholes too and think that the patient doesn't know shit.  While I admit that not having seven years of medical training doesn't make us regular plebs as qualified, no one knows what's going on with the patients own body quite like the patient.  The patient (or guardian) should always be informed and involved with what their medical team is doing.   There needs to be some type of legal medical bracelet that basically says "this person has a guardian and if you do anything without their  consent they will sue the everloving shit out of you."     All that said, I should probably go see someone about this blood I'm shitting.  But I really don't want to deal with them that much (also the lack of medical insurance doesn't help either.) On the plus side if I do die then it's not my problem anymore so I don't have to worry about it!
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