I'm Through; Why Can't I Be Happy?

[GOTHIKA]

It's been ages since I made a new topic; but so much drama has happened that I'm drowing in it and I can't get out of it. my man broke up for he was the source of my stress; met a new guy and now I'm pregnant by 2 months. My friends have left me alone in the coldness of their world.

I may be alone with a baby and a man I barely know; but deep down inside me wants to destroy it all and all those who oppose me. I'm filled with so much anger; that it's starting to consume me day by day. I'm alone with no one to talk to; my family gave up, my friends don't care and it hurts me so bad that everyday I scream in pain, sorrow, anger towards those who refuse to help me.

I despite my ex for so long that I still feel the pain inside me and I want to release it so badly that I want him to fear me; he spreads lies, broken up my family and crossed me for the last time. why do I hold so much anger for one man that is dead to me?

Edited August 31, 2009 by GOTHIKA

[Msterbeau]

Sometimes it's difficult to put aside our emotions and move on. Do what you can to deal with those feeling, but the more important thing to focus on now is what's growing in your womb. Come here and vent when you need to... there's always someone who will listen and give advice if that's what you need.

[Brenda Starrr]

Excellent idea. This is getting very close to violating the "play nice" rules. I'm inclined to close the thread completely, but it hasn't quite gotten there yet.

Sure, vent. But leave names out of it.

Oh wait, I quit modding. But still, leave names out of it for the sake of keeping drama OFF this board. There's been enough of that 12-year-old shit lately as it is.

[odims_sphere]

Sure, vent. But leave names out of it.

Oh wait, I quit modding. But still, leave names out of it for the sake of keeping drama OFF this board. There's been enough of that 12-year-old shit lately as it is.

Thank you Brenda, I just read this one.

Imma work on it now.

[Steven]

Sure, vent. But leave names out of it.

Oh wait, I quit modding. But still, leave names out of it for the sake of keeping drama OFF this board. There's been enough of that 12-year-old shit lately as it is.

Hey you - quit modding already.... remember your on the dark side now over here with me....

[Msterbeau]

Hey you - quit modding already.... remember your on the dark side now over here with me....

Dude. We're all on the dark side here....

[SuZQZ]

It's been ages since I made a new topic; but so much drama has happened that I'm drowing in it and I can't get out of it. Aug. 2007 *mod edit* broke up for he was the source of my stress; met a new guy and now I'm pregnant by 2 months. My friends have left me alone in the coldness of their world.

I may be alone with a baby and a man I barely know; but deep down inside me wants to destroy it all and all those who oppose me. I'm filled with so much anger; that it's starting to consume me day by day. I'm alone with no one to talk to; my family gave up, my friends don't care and it hurts me so bad that everyday I scream in pain, sorrow, anger towards those who refuse to help me.

I despite *mod edit* for so long that I still feel the pain inside me and I want to release it so badly that I want him to fear me; he spreads lies, broken up my family and crossed me for the last time. why do I hold so much anger for one man that is dead to me?

You are not alone, even when it feels like it, you are not alone.

The pain will subside with time, and you must allow yourself the time to heal. As for the anger, you must let it go. Why let it consume you? You have a choice. Choose not to carry it any longer. It will be hard, but with practice you will find it easier and easier to let go of.

[Homicidalheathen]

Quote: I'm alone with no one to talk to; my family gave up, my friends don't care and it hurts me so bad that everyday I scream in pain, sorrow, anger towards those who refuse to help me

After a few years of showing you can do well without them........they will come around.....but will you want them in your life AFTER you have found them too let you down in your time of most desparate need....?

[Brenda Starrr]

Thank you Brenda, I just read this one.

Imma work on it now.

Thank you!

Hey you - quit modding already.... remember your on the dark side now over here with me....

Got cookies?

Dude. We're all on the dark side here....

Cookies anyone??

[GOTHIKA]

if only you were in my body to experience everything that has happened to me

[jynxxxedangel]

I've come back from the worst life possible. I won't even describe in detail the drama of my past. It's up to you to act upon your despair positively, and better yourself.

[Homicidalheathen]

Dont worry be happy

(I went through the same thing at age 24)

Everything worked out ok

Edited January 26, 2009 by Homicidalheathen

[GOTHIKA]

i hope so; i just feel like...........idk how to explain it. u may think im crazy if i tell you so here goes. when i feel dead, i feel like sitting there, staring off into another realm; flying through my past about myself; watching everything & everyone that made me who i am just past by as if im watching a movie about myself. then i wake up screaming in my sleep

[detroitrequiem]

i hope so; i just feel like...........idk how to explain it. u may think im crazy if i tell you so here goes. when i feel dead, i feel like sitting there, staring off into another realm; flying through my past about myself; watching everything & everyone that made me who i am just past by as if im watching a movie about myself. then i wake up screaming in my sleep

I'm sure things will get better for you. You probably don't know me but if you ever want to talk please feel free to email me. Most people feel emptiness in their lives too often. Try to surround yourself with a more positive environment and positive people. Hopefully that will help you to feel stronger. If you're a spiritual person, pray, let go, cry. Sometimes we need to just let go in order to see that life isn't so empty. I hope the best for you.

[GOTHIKA]

thx

[Brenda Starrr]

if only you were in my body to experience everything that has happened to me

Girl, for as long as I've been on DGN, most people have NO clue as to what I've endured. And somehow, I'm one of the most positive people I know to this day. You CAN be happy. Really.

It might feel like you're the only one going through what you have and are. I assure you that you're not.

[GOTHIKA]

im done with relationships; i got my fuck buddies and my friends with benefits to keep me happy