Insulted / Teased for dressing gothy?

[Troy Spiral (13)]

Even when i was wearing the hardcore goth makeup 24/7 i rarely ever got any insults. I did get a few shocked looks here and there and a (very) few semi-rude comments but nothing much to speak of. Guess I've just been lucky?

I still wear black nail polish a LOT in "real life" and wear all black most of the time (but just don't have the energy or the patience for the makeup (or the money) anymore) and have never had any insults, at least not ones that i know about.

[creatureofthenyte]

well when it comes to things like this, do what You want to do, and if others don't like it, BUMMER!

[sass_in_the_pants]

If I ever tease it is because of bad makeup jobs, never for the sake makeup itself.

The whole "guy with the Crow makeup" thing needs to die a horrible death though and never return.

But, it's the Crow, dude. It will never, EVER die. And we will all suffer because of it.

I remember coming home one day when I was in high school with one of my 'goth' friends...his name was Saliva or something ridiculous like that. And he had tattoos on his face, and his hands, and branding on his arms, and more metal in him than a Chevy, and my mom said 'And what's your name?'

'Saliva'

'Oh, that's nice. Is that Eastern European?'

'Uh, no'

'Maybe you'd like some potato soup? I just finished making it. You must be freezing, what with your clothes all half ripped like that. I'll go get you some soup'

I pointed out to my mother that I was trying to rebel, but she was making it very difficult by not being shocked.

"Oh, dear, well, I'm so sorry. Next time, sweetie, I promise I'll be shocked, would that make you feel better?'

It's VERY difficult to show how different you are to people who have seen everything.

[Troy Spiral (13)]

If some guy wants to dress up like the crow... and you need to insult them for it, that's the same deal as someone insulting you for whatever you feel like wearing. Not that I've ever wore "the crow" makeup style.

Insulting someone for "bad fashion" is basically the exact same kind of bigotry as insulting them for "something you don't like the look of". Rude ether way. If someone just likes being rude? Hrmm, that's unfortunate.

Now, if we are just making a joke in closed company between random friends is different, than actually insulting the person in public, i do make a distinction. In the right company and situation i feel just about any time of joke or critical comment is acceptable, but its a judgment call as to when/where that is. (DGN defiantly not the place for "open insults" or what might be construed as an open personal insult, for example)

[freydis]

I've had people ask me some weird questions about my desk at work (it's got quite a few halloween related knicknacks on it), but what's surprised me most is the complete lack of flack I'm seeing at work over my hair. Figured I'd get a lot of smartass remarks, but instead, I've gotten compliments.

[Msterbeau]

But, it's the Crow, dude. It will never, EVER die. And we will all suffer because of it.

I remember coming home one day when I was in high school with one of my 'goth' friends...his name was Saliva or something ridiculous like that. And he had tattoos on his face, and his hands, and branding on his arms, and more metal in him than a Chevy, and my mom said 'And what's your name?'

'Saliva'

'Oh, that's nice. Is that Eastern European?'

'Uh, no'

'Maybe you'd like some potato soup? I just finished making it. You must be freezing, what with your clothes all half ripped like that. I'll go get you some soup'

I pointed out to my mother that I was trying to rebel, but she was making it very difficult by not being shocked.

"Oh, dear, well, I'm so sorry. Next time, sweetie, I promise I'll be shocked, would that make you feel better?'

It's VERY difficult to show how different you are to people who have seen everything.

Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!

[Scary Guy]

http://www.detroitgothic.net/t15578.html

Because we went over this already

Personally not many people say much towards me. At most I get a sneer but usually everyone loves the car/getup because I am unique.

One guy at Coney who's a regular asked me where my hat was. Nice guy, hope I see him again.

[know_buddy_kares]

http://www.detroitgothic.net/t15578.html

Because we went over this already

Personally not many people say much towards me. At most I get a sneer but usually everyone loves the car/getup because I am unique.

One guy at Coney who's a regular asked me where my hat was. Nice guy, hope I see him again.

aha..... i forgot about that thread... as did the rest of us, good one

[CrowFan1994]

what are peoples thaughts and what do you do when your employer doesn't support yourt goth choice?

i'm more conserviative i'm just more all black clothing and chain pants the kind you get from hot topic .

basically my emplyer told me i could not wear them to work any more because it didn't look professional.

[Homicidalheathen]

My kids got picked on soooo bad in school even though, one made Magna cum laude' almost validictorian......the other pretty damn close too.

They don't drink, think raves are 'stupid drugged out sex crazed fools' (they are right lol)

And work and practice whatever art they are into at the moment.....hanging out with a few select friends at what I lovingly reffer to as 'wholesome' events.......god are they mine? LOL!

Anywho, that being said......

They get picked on obviously, JUST FOR THE WAY THEY DRESS.

Thing 1 has had 1 boyfriend. He got wierd and controlling and said because she was a goth pagan she was influenced by the devil and she broke up with him.

She got picked on and people believed his lies about her being 'loose' and crazy because of the way she dresses...she already didn't fit in but then when this popular guy did this.....everyone believed him, even though she was STALKED for 6 months after they broke up, hell I almost had someone go do something to him......

People seem to think if you wear a short skirt and stockings you will put out without any emotional attachment......WRONG

She would rather sit home alone than have sex anyway......

She thinks sex is kinda gross.

Thing 2 thinks sex is TOTALLY GROSS.

Is still a virgin and wants to be seen as NON SEXED so she dresses as a man and has fooled one of my close friends who had not seen her in a few years this weekend...it was funny....he was like who was that boy with you. She is proud when she pulls that off.

But because of this she too is picked on. Kids in school, especially guys......will say mean shit to her......one was sitting in front of her in class, turned around....pretended to 'jump' when he saw her, and called her 'satan'. Her response? She 'pretend' casted a spell on him (we think he fell for it, he left her alone after that lol') and she hisses at people! I love it!

She gets this evil look on her face, starts doing this weird shit with hands.....mumbles some mumbo jumbo and/or hisses and they leave her alone after that.

One guy in the hallway tried making a pass at her BIG MISTAKE. He almost lost his hand when he tried to touch her. No one ever did that again.

I just hope when they start college dressing goth won't effect their grades, relationship with professors......students.....

Anyone know about the politics at college these days? When we were on campus there were not many.....and they are considering changing for school.....as its too important to take the risk for the cause if you know what I mean......maybe just dress this way out of school or work......?

[Daniel]

Well, I have never looked particularly "freaky", having no love for the face makeup or big hair. I had super long hair for years and have always worn solid black. Since living in Detroit (since 2000), I have never had problems. Well, some work related obstacles with the long hair (corporate-ville), but those were minor. The black has never been a serious problem, particularly with my current employer, where I technically work in the big music business.

In Indiana, I dealt with a lot of weird prejudice, but not anything overtly provocative. The biggest thing I dealt with there, that I do not deal with nearly as much here, is walking down the street or in a grocery store and getting proselytized by Christians wielding Chick Tracts. Which I always welcomed, being Serious Atheist that I am. I have only dealt with two such scenarios since living here, but it was a weekly occurrence in Indiana. I have some rather grand and hilarious stories I can spin from those days. Ahh, the memories.

Anyway, from my observations, Detroit in general seems much much more jaded to all that shit. I have a Cthulhu Fish (like a Jesus fish, but it says Cthulhu, and has wings and tentacles) on my car (as well as a black "support ribbon" that says "Beware of the zombie apocalypse). I don't even get comments about it. In Indiana, my car would have been flat out vandalized.

[TygerLili]

If you're going to dress differently than the majority, you're going to get a lot of attention. Some of that will be negative attention, it comes with the territory. If you can't handle the attention, then I guess you need to conform.

Personally my day to day style is not that goth most of the time. When I do go all out, I'm fully aware that I'm going to be stared at, and might even draw comments.

[saechalyn]

Unless I go directly from apt --> car --> club I get some kind of negative attention almost every time I'm in goth gear. I shrug it off.

[saechalyn]

what are peoples thaughts and what do you do when your employer doesn't support yourt goth choice?

i'm more conserviative i'm just more all black clothing and chain pants the kind you get from hot topic .

basically my emplyer told me i could not wear them to work any more because it didn't look professional.

What's more important to you- getting to wear whatever you want, or keeping that job? If it's the former, you need to find a job that will let you dress how you like. If it's the latter, find something to wear that fits the dress code.

[hunhee]

I don't know if this is negative, I guess it's in the way I perceive it, but when I'm in goth gear, I get hit on CONSTANTLY. I think that they think, oh look "goth chick" she's probably an easy lay. I can be driving down the street, and I get honks and rolled down windows asking me to go meet them at some bar, or want my phone number, or I'll get old men drooling over me, like I'm some xmas ham and they haven't eaten since the previous xmas.

I think my neighbors think I'm a hooker, they always see me coming home from work, all frumpy, and leaving all sassed up. My co-workers have said stuff like "She lives a secret rockstar life" whatever that means. My mother saw me last Halloween all vinyled out, and she was like "oh my goodness, where ever would someone find an outfit like that?" I almost replied "a stripper store" :/ heheh *shrugs*

[Draco1958]

I'll get old men drooling over me, like I'm some xmas ham and they haven't eaten since the previous xmas.

I can't help it. You look so tasty that I want to put a honey glaze all over you and eat you up.

[Fierce Critter]

The positive responses I get override the negatives.

In North Carolina, people's staring would get as close to rude as you can get - I mean S T A R I N G for a LOOOOOONG period of time.

I know I'm going to get glances, negative or positive. I don't dress that way to get a reaction out of people - the reaction just comes with the territory. I dress a certain way out of a preference for a certain look, not to get reactions of any kind out of others. Whether someone likes it or doesn't, doesn't affect me really.

I put more effort into my appearance when I do the goth/punk thing. I keep it feminine, so it generally flatters me. The alternative would be medieval dress. But I don't care to deal with the layers, and there's really only a couple types of footwear I would wear. It's actually more limiting.

[Scary Guy]

I don't know if this is negative, I guess it's in the way I perceive it, but when I'm in goth gear, I get hit on CONSTANTLY. I think that they think, oh look "goth chick" she's probably an easy lay. I can be driving down the street, and I get honks and rolled down windows asking me to go meet them at some bar, or want my phone number, or I'll get old men drooling over me, like I'm some xmas ham and they haven't eaten since the previous xmas.

I think my neighbors think I'm a hooker, they always see me coming home from work, all frumpy, and leaving all sassed up. My co-workers have said stuff like "She lives a secret rockstar life" whatever that means. My mother saw me last Halloween all vinyled out, and she was like "oh my goodness, where ever would someone find an outfit like that?" I almost replied "a stripper store" :/ heheh *shrugs*

Are you dressing like a goth though or a goth slut (to put it bluntly). I'm sure if you were in some classy victorian attire they wouldn't say shit.

This is why you also get all those idiots in City Club who don't belong there. I'd say institute a dresscode but the numbers are so low as it is. Aside from that Mike isn't one to turn away money.

[Daniel]

Are you dressing like a goth though or a goth slut (to put it bluntly). I'm sure if you were in some classy victorian attire they wouldn't say shit.

This is why you also get all those idiots in City Club who don't belong there. I'd say institute a dresscode but the numbers are so low as it is. Aside from that Mike isn't one to turn away money.

What you're proposing might qualify as a goth club!

[sass_in_the_pants]

If your employer doesn't like how you dress, change clothes and suck it up. Or quit. You don't have to work for that person.

[Crazed Vampyress]

i get the stares. i get the sideways glances. i have gotten the occasional snide comment from some random person. but honestly the most negative responses ive ever gotten were from people i knew in some way... like co-workers who saw me 'off the clock' or friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend type people who ive maybe met once before. they somehow seem to feel that cuz they know my name, its okay to come over and dump their fashion beliefs down my throat. and its bad enough when they come right out and say insulting things... ive heard

"why would you want to look ridiculous?"

"i guess you feel better hiding under all that stuff"

"that lifestyle is horrible how could you choose to disgrace yourself like that?"

but as bad as they can be i always felt the worst ones were the ones that acted like they being nice about it, but still being totally demeaning...

"aww.. ive seen you without make up, your face is nice enough you dont need all that stuff"

"well if this is how you express yourself at least its in a way you can clearly see you need help. thats a good first step"

yes, these are all things ive actually heard.

but i do get a lot of positve comments. whenever i get called into work in my night off and im in my so-called 'goth gear' everyone in the store smiles and has nice things to say. my friends parents have even told me things like 'you look fabulous, tho i could never dress like that'

[Fierce Critter]

One I love from my mother.

"Camille, when are you going to grow up?"

I've never said this out loud, but inwardly, I think, "Hopefully, never, mom."

[Daniel]

If your employer doesn't like how you dress, change clothes and suck it up. Or quit. You don't have to work for that person.

I just threaten to kick their ass. That usually takes care of the problem.

[Scary Guy]

I just threaten to kick their ass. That usually takes care of the problem.

Depends on if there are more dudebros than you.

[Daniel]

Depends on if there are more dudebros than you.

Not when I break out my Shaolin Iron Buddha's Palm Fist Technique it doesn't.