Insulted / Teased for dressing gothy?

[Destroit]

I just hope when they start college dressing goth won't effect their grades, relationship with professors......students.....

Anyone know about the politics at college these days? When we were on campus there were not many.....and they are considering changing for school.....as its too important to take the risk for the cause if you know what I mean......maybe just dress this way out of school or work......?

Pssshaw. Actually, college is where they stop being picked on and life begins. It's amazing. You can wear whatever the fuck you want, most of the preppy kids seriously come in pajamas. Like everyday. They never get dressed, it's messed up, and yeah they might get stared at by some people but think of it this way:

College is generally full of kids who are smarter and more mature (mature mostly happens at non-universities, since big universities are just daycare for preppy kids that aren't ready for the real world yet) than the other kids (It sounds harsh, but I'm of the assortment where I believe some people are just born smarter and more understanding than others). So generally college kids are very open minded to just about anything, I mean you get your few assholes, that happens no matter where you are in the world, but generally speaking people are more respectful and courteous.

Sooooo as a matter of fact not only should they keep dressing that way, they should sigh a big sigh of relief knowing that they won't go through much strife as a result. I'm at MCC/WSU right now and haven't gotten shit from anyone at either campus. Aside from the homeless or Detroit natives. Actually I pissed off a Johova' Witness once too....it was great.

Also, as for me being picked on, Scary Guy already brought up the topic I started awhile back (thankssss, 'cause I didn't feel like finding it )

[know_buddy_kares]

shit.. when is it NOT fun to piss off a Jehova's witness?

Pissing off Mormans are pretty fun too.

But the only time I've ever been picked on for anything was in high school. Back then I had a real passive issue and never reacted much... only after high school did I start not tolerating it. Yeah, some dumbasses will try to resort to fighting you about it, but most just fuck off after a while.

[Homicidalheathen]

Good to know thanks.

'at MCC/WSU right now and haven't gotten shit from anyone at either campus. Aside from the homeless or Detroit natives.'

I got strange looks down by the river......they thought it was pretty wild, I was out there looking like a gothic hooker and my male friend was in a dress lol we so did NOT fit in.

[FarrIL]

<----- Shops at Hot Topic

<----- Works at Hot Topic

<----- Deals with those who are interested in the culture

<----- Deals with those who DISS the culture

<----- Deals with stylish people

<----- Deals with not-so-stylish people

Okay.... I started dressing "gothy" (( and DID look like a Hot Topic fixture fell on me and conveniently dressed me too )) when I was 18. I had this nagging curiosity in me and since I had some spare cash at the time (( yeahy for graduating high school )), I decided it was time to experiment. I already owned a pair of knee-high boots, some getting-ragged jeans and was beginning to build my "me" style. I've been told I dressed somewhat punk in High school (( the later years, I can see a sort of taste to punk, but not entirely )), but I wanted to try this "Goth thing". City club had been attended twice and I realized I didnt have much that enabled me to blend in with the majority of the crowd..... or at least not look like a newbie, though it was probably obvious I was.

So I bought my first pair of Tripp pants. Yippy.... they fell apart. Hallowe'en rolled around and I bought mine and my sister's goodies..... both of our skirts, a pair of armwarmers we shared that weekend, her fishnet tights and a pair of wings. I had a shirt I could wear with my skirt and a belt would do just fine.

But what I experienced, what I learned from experimenting, was not only was I comfortable, but I had to prepare for ridiculing from several parties:

Strangers, Mom, George, relatives I didnt see often.

I often tried to stick up for the culture, especially when George would say that good people would NEVER dress that way, I said "Uh actually, some good people do" and I constantly would reitterate how into drugs I WAS NOT, how much drinking I DID NOT do, how many fights I NEVER got into.... 3 years later, they have grown a little accustomed to the way I dress..... some day I get compliments, other days, they roll their eyes and leave it at that. 3 years of being told that bad people only dressed that way, and I'm still drug free and still rarely drink. I'm no criminal.

I think I've prove my point to them, and since they've chosen to continue with their unconditional compassion (( dare we say tough love at times? )), they've learned that this IS who their daughter/step-daughter is, and I'm not changing for anyone but myself.

To dress differently, you need to expect to get stares, scowls, gawks, compliments, comments, insults and whatever else is thrown your way.

I've worn my trench coat to Delta many times, most of the time I've gotten compliment after compliment after fashion-oriented compliment. But, there was one night when I was headed for my Astronomy class and two boys (( I say boys because what they said was downright immature for a college student )) looked at me, one of which put up the "metal hands" and called at me: "TRENCH COAT MAFIA FOR LIFE!" Giggles and snickers ensued as they walked by me. A girl was a ways behind them, and she heard what they said to me. Our gazes met briefly and I muttered "Assholes" to her and she uttered an agreement.

Our association was left at that.

I have been stared at, random people have pet my leg-warmers, others have quirked their eyebrows, other have downright stared in shock..... a few people have though they were pretty darn cool.

You are who you are and should you be a confident person enough to remain being who you are, you are to be prepared for whatever comment or insult is thrown your way, and be prepared for who it comes from. Family members might disapprove, complete strangers will think you kick ass...... be prepared to get reactions from all parts of the spectrum.

[ShyTears]

I don't know if this is negative, I guess it's in the way I perceive it, but when I'm in goth gear, I get hit on CONSTANTLY. I think that they think, oh look "goth chick" she's probably an easy lay. I can be driving down the street, and I get honks and rolled down windows asking me to go meet them at some bar, or want my phone number, or I'll get old men drooling over me, like I'm some xmas ham and they haven't eaten since the previous xmas.

I feel the same way everytime I'm at CC. It's one of the top reasons I dont like being there.

guys seem to forget that even though I'm dressed up and my skirt is short that it doesn't mean that they can touch me.. that goes the same if I dance with a guy as well, they think that it's a ticket to feel me up.. and I'm too nice to flip out.. I usually try to dance away or if I cant I just decline the next dance. I dont like the feeling of some strangers cock pressed against my ass crack when I'm out on the dance floor. If it's my boyfriend- that's another story. If it's a chick on me on the dance floor- I'm all about it.

[littlepinkkitty]

sometimes it doesnt matter what you wear....i went to klutch Kargos with a girlfriend and i was in jeans and a tank top with a shrug and i got grooped by like a thousand people....i will never go back there! At city club the bouncers are good about dealing with guys who thinks its ok to come up and run their hand up your leg.

and as for being teased about clothing....i think people should wear what they want and what makes them happy....sometimes i wear my tiara and tons of jewelry just for fun and if people make fun of me it is because they are jealous hos who dont have tiaras.....that is how i feel

[hunhee]

Are you dressing like a goth though or a goth slut (to put it bluntly). I'm sure if you were in some classy victorian attire they wouldn't say shit.

It really doesn't matter what I wear, but yes, when I go to a club, I'm in goth slut mode. It's not to get attention, but because I like that type of clothing.

It doesn't really matter if I had on classy victorian attire, those dresses are usually form fitting and show some boobs. If you hadn't noticed, I'm an asian girl with big boobs. It's not the outfit necessarily, that gets stared at, it's the boobs. It took me a LONG time to figure out that I wasn't some hideous stain on humanity. This whole "thinking I'm relatively not fucking ugly" is a new thing for me.

[Scary Guy]

Trust me, you'd get less of it.

[Shade Everdark]

Teasing me for what I wear?

Time for a stabbin'!

[Scary Guy]

Teasing me for what I wear?

Time for a stabbin'!

Or a school shooting :D

[angusfergus]

As far as ridicule based on looks, I don't think anyone should ever be ridiculed for a choice of personal style, REGARDLESS of what style it is. I think there are limits to what is acceptable in certain situations, but still ridicule is not a good tool for change.

As far as the 'goth at work' thing...Your employer likely implements a dress code to display professionalism. The fact that you don't have to wear a uniform is already a step more lenient than many businesses. What you should do is get a written copy of the dress code and check it over to see what does and doesn't conform to policy. If there is nothing in the dress code specifying that what you are wearing is not allowed, you can mention to your employer that your outfit does fit the dress code and if you are pressed mention it would amount to discrimination if you were forced to adhere to a stricter dress code than your co-workers.

[freydis]

Husband and I were at Great Lakes Crossing today, and went into a tee shirt shop. The shop had a lot of interesting shirts, that would have been relevant to a lot of folks tastes, including most everyone on this board. On our way out, two women were walking in and one says audibly "I hate Goth people".

WTF.....?

[nomi]

I remember coming home one day when I was in high school with one of my 'goth' friends...his name was Saliva or something ridiculous like that. And he had tattoos on his face, and his hands, and branding on his arms, and more metal in him than a Chevy, and my mom said 'And what's your name?'

'Saliva'

'Oh, that's nice. Is that Eastern European?'

'Uh, no'

'Maybe you'd like some potato soup? I just finished making it. You must be freezing, what with your clothes all half ripped like that. I'll go get you some soup'

I pointed out to my mother that I was trying to rebel, but she was making it very difficult by not being shocked.

"Oh, dear, well, I'm so sorry. Next time, sweetie, I promise I'll be shocked, would that make you feel better?'

It's VERY difficult to show how different you are to people who have seen everything.

sorry to say this or not, but: i love that... wish my mom was even halfway like that when i was growing up. i am hoping that i'll be a little like that to my daughter when she gets to that age of 'rebelling.'

she's only turning 3 now.

Husband and I were at Great Lakes Crossing today, and went into a tee shirt shop. The shop had a lot of interesting shirts, that would have been relevant to a lot of folks tastes, including most everyone on this board. On our way out, two women were walking in and one says audibly "I hate Goth people".

WTF.....?

some people are really big dolts, closed minded, selfish idiots.

those people who say they hate a certain type of dress style probably don't know the difference between most of them. hating someone for how they dress is ignorant.

how you dress does not make who you are.

a lot of people who say they dislike/hate goths asociate the style of dress with witchcraft and paganism.

therefore, actually disliking/hating the non-christian type religions.

associating a dress style with a religion is extremely ignorant. disliking/hating someone for it is even more so.

i have no qualms with any religion or dress style, but be informed before you say you dislike/hate something.

then tell me why, i'd like to know, and it had better be a good reason, not an excuse.

only then will i accept the dislike/hate as fallable, otherwise, you go in my 'big dolt' category.

(p.s. >_< pet-peeve: using the word 'hate' with ignorance, more so with ignorance on what is being hated.)

((that really gets my nickers in a bunch.))

Edited August 19, 2007 by nomi

[AngelusErro]

Even when i was wearing the hardcore goth makeup 24/7 i rarely ever got any insults. I did get a few shocked looks here and there and a (very) few semi-rude comments but nothing much to speak of. Guess I've just been lucky?

I still wear black nail polish a LOT in "real life" and wear all black most of the time (but just don't have the energy or the patience for the makeup (or the money) anymore) and have never had any insults, at least not ones that i know about.

I have had a weird experience with this as well. Most people are shocked that I haven't recieved as much flack as they feel I may deserve for my apperance. I've been told my whole life I wont get a decent job with the holes I have in my head. But I think it is all a matter of how you carry yourself.

I personally go to each job interview, or meeting, or whatever, with the piercings in. Of course I dress them down. I dress professionally, and I am very frank about it. I let them know; this is what I have, I want the job/promotion, and I am willing to alter my apearance if need be. Usually that is the last I hear about it. I don't go in with retainers, and all that, hiding who I am. And I think that is reflected back on me in respect.

My most recent job (I wish I hadn't moved away from) I ran a home for disabled adults. I wore suits, and went to meetings with my corporate office. I hired and fired people, attended confrences on business law, communicated with doctors, families, and many other professionals on a daily basis. All with holes in my ears you can stick your fingers through, and a ring through my lip.

I mean some of my peers were openly scolded for tongue rings, and suggestive clothing. But the most uncomfortable conversation I ever had was with the director of the company. She asked questions about my ears, then told me a story about how she thought all ears were gross, lol. I expected the whole time for her to end with a suggestion for removing my large guage jewelry, but she never did.

I feel my not being singled out was a direct result of my attitude. I never flaunted my piercings, never played with them in meetings. I was always dressed appropriate, and on time. I never gave them a reason to equate my appearance with anything but my professional attitude.

My personal life on the other hand....lol...I have lost more dates to "oh my god, your ears!" than I can even count.

Edited August 23, 2007 by AngelusErro

[Kit Kat P]

Back in VA when I was renting out a massive basement I realized I needed my own fridge. So I went to Costco. I bought a mini fridge. As in I got the cart, I loaded up my car. I had several people watching me in a skirt and fishnets load up my family car w/ country music blaring. When it was all said and done I had a guy walk up to me and tell me he loved goth chicks. I told him if he'd helped he might have got my number. He said he wouldn't have missed the view or display of personal strength for anything. My random add.

[tweetspie]

Anyone know about the politics at college these days? When we were on campus there were not many.....and they are considering changing for school.....as its too important to take the risk for the cause if you know what I mean......maybe just dress this way out of school or work......?

Thing 1 and Thing 2 have NOTHING to worry about in the way of college. They should continue dressing as they do and doing their thing. College is much different than high school.

All of my junior year I had one kid (I use the word kid appropriately) call me Godzilla for no apparent reason. His friends would giggle, but the rest of the class would just stare at him, and my close friend in that class would mouth off with me. Now, we also befriended the teacher, which is the best way to be afforded special treatment, and we were allowed to mouth off to this child as much as we wanted because the teacher would just turn the other way. About 3/4 of the way through the year, rumors started flying that he had gotten arrested for drug use or dropped out of school or was expelled or something... sweet, sweet karma.

Which brings me to my next point to whoever it was that was saying that her family was convinced that she was doing drugs and drinking-- more preppy kids are drinking and doing drugs than goths. Look at your average celebrity. Arrested for drunk driving, in rehab, blah blah blah. How many gothic celebrities are there??