Fierce Critter

Thank you. Jon and I like to spend time with each other. A lot. Of time. With. Each. Other. We recognized that right from the start. We recognized in ourselves that should we have a child, we'd be awesome parents. HOWEVER, we preferred to be awesome non-parents, and we recognized that, too. We like being awesomely married to each other. 13 years this month. And not a single regret. Due to surgery in 2008, it can't even happen now if I wanted it to. For a brief moment, I mourned the loss of my ability to be pregnant and go through the motions of giving birth. But that's different than mourning the possibility of having a child. I'd say I 99% mourned the biological ability, and 1% mourned the possibility of bearing a child. It was more the kind of mourning you'd have if you lost a kidney or your spleen than anything else.

The only people who give me flack over this decision are strangers who feel like it's their duty to inform me I made a grave mistake. Sometimes I think it's because they want those of us who choose to live life unencumbered by spawn to suffer the same misery as them. :D

Join me in a bed-in? :D You'll have to squeeze in around the cats, but they're cozy and warm.

You understand they're saying isolation is bad for depression, right? I'm currently going through what's been years of up and down depression. Mine is motivational rather than emotional. Long boring story I won't get into. But about the only thing that keeps me from sitting in bed all day is my understanding that interacting with people keeps me at least a bare minimum of active. Talking to people online, interacting with my husband, etc. He's seen me when I have a chance to get out of the house - which isn't often - and the difference is strong. Socialization energizes me. I'm starved for it. Watch the online stuff. Between 2002 and 2005 when I lived in even more isolated circumstances in another state, DGN became an obsession. I basically did it 8 hours a day, M-F until my husband got off work. Refresh, refresh, refresh in the hopes that someone would post SOMETHING new I could read or respond to. These days, I try to limit how much time I spend on message boards and the like. Facebook has become a bit of a problem in this regard. I'm working on it. I personally am looking at getting some counseling and possibly getting back on Wellbutrin. Again, long story. But I was on it for a while around 2007 and it helped me immensely. I took myself off it and shouldn't have, but again, long story. Get out. Even if it's to go to the library and read there instead of in your room at home. Look up discussion groups where you can interact with people over particular subjects. Or try to start one about anything. That's something I would do now if there wasn't a vehicle issue.

<-- Is always down with Abe.

Unfortunately, though I vowed in 2008 that I would vote for an independent candidate finally in 2012, I will probably give my vote to whomever I feel is the least threatening to civil liberties AND actually has a chance in hell of winning. Sigh.

Gets my +1 for the day.

Once again, there are more religions to pick from than the extremes of atheism and Christian. Buddhism is something I hear a lot of people drawn to. I don't know as much about it as I'd like to. But from what I hear, it tends to be a lot more about being happy than being judgmental and threatening.

There are several people in my family alone who buy DVD's on a regular basis, and who buy them as gifts for others. I don't think media sales are going anywhere. Even CD's and LP's are seeing a resurgence in sales recently.

How do you figure?

There are also people living in the sticks who can't easily get back to Redbox within 24 hours or don't have a video rental closer than about 12 miles. Like a lot of upper Michigan.

Wow. Has it really been over 3 years since I last posted in this thread? Anyway... First note - if you are going to check out things steampunk on Etsy, avoid, at all costs, a seller by the label Tempus Fugit. The watches they are selling are cheap, mass-manufactured timepieces of shit. There have been a lot of complaints about that seller to the powers that be, as they are pushing their crap as "handmade" by simply attaching a chain or something equally inane. Etsy is run by a bunch of lazy fucktards, so they won't pull their account or items. So the only way to try to keep people from wasting their money on shined-up-shit is word of mouth. Anyway deux... In the 3 years since I posted here, there have been a lot of developments with River Otter Widget Studios, my husband Jon's Etsy shop. He actually lost interest in it, as his true passion is wood carving. He got a lot more satisfaction from bringing art out of a piece of raw wood than he did assembling this's and thats's into functional art (most of his pieces were lamps of some kind). By the end of 2010, his shop was down to about 10 items, and he planned to let it die and close it after the last item sold. Then, in November, 6 of his last 10 items sold to one person. The shipping address was a film studio in Wilmington, NC. He was contacted by the buyer, who turned out to be the set dresser for a film, "Journey 2: Mysterious Island," a sequel to the Brendan Fraser "Journey" film(s). (Fraser doesn't appear in this sequel.) He planned to use the pieces - mostly lamps - on the set of the film. He inquired as to whether he could commission some custom pieces in addition to the ready pieces he purchased. Jon was happy with the sales, but equally unhappy. By this time, we were comfortably ensconced in our new north woodlands lifestyle, and Jon was seeing some real success with his woodcarvings. He just plain lost the passion for the steampunk assemblies, and had actually already de-stashed over 90% of the gears, geegaws, and gadgetry that he had amassed to do the steampunk stuff. Nevertheless, the kind of cash we would have been looking at buys a LOT of Swedish woodcarving tools. So with the help of my professional actress sister, we composed a response to the guy stating we'd be happy to provide him custom pieces and let us know what he's looking for. Well, we never ended up hearing back from the guy. Shooting was to wrap this past February. And release date has been pushed back a few times into February of 2012. Realistically, this doesn't bode well for the film. So we're hoping we'll at least see some of Jon's pieces in the finished flick, and that it doesn't go straight to video. Jon closed the shop entirely earlier this year. But then... In May, a book went into early release which features several of Jon's pieces. Jon's etsy shop address is given in the credits section. By July, the book went into full release. By then, he decided to contact Etsy and have them reopen the shop for him, just so he could see what happened. What happened was traffic to his site exploded exponentially. We're talking from a few looks per day to dozens, into the hundreds weekly. Typically looooooooong story short, River Otter Widget Studios is back in business. Jon has taken a break from the woodcarving, and is once again amassing bits and pieces of copper, brass and steel and assembling them into decorative, functional lamps and art pieces for his website. It's only been back up and running for a couple months, and he's already having trouble keeping the shop stocked. If you want to see his shop: River Otter Widget Studios The book in which he is featured: 1,000 Steampunk Creations . To see Jon's featured pieces, click on "Google preview" below the picture of the book. Type "Jonathan Gosling" into the search bar, and 3 pages will come up to check out. He's still getting hit up by promoters of steampunk events, but Jon's really low-key. Just not interested in pushing himself in that way. He'll probably keep this going for an occasional break from the carving, since "carver's block" does strike once in a while and he just needs to put down the chisels. /shame-free wifely spouse promotion

Try the Gone series by Michael Grant. King did, and hence his own book.

Recently finished reading: The Gone series by Michael Grant The Hunger Games trilogy by Suzanne Collins (I have made the acquaintance of a well-read English professor who is turning me on to YA Fiction that I might have otherwise passed over) Cold Wind by CJ Box (I favor books featuring wildlife/DNR/National Park workers and locations) Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro The Left Handed Dollar and Infernal Angels by Loren D. Estleman (Noirish detective series set in Detroit) Currently reading: Fallen by Pete Hamill When I'm on a roll, I read a book every 2 days or so. I have been on said roll lately. I'm not getting much sleep, but I'm clearing the shelves at the local library quite nicely. Iris - I read the first 2 books of the Dark Tower series years ago. I just picked up the books at a yard sale, and am going to be charging through all of them soon. I've heard wind that there's a filmed version in the works or coming out soon, so I want to re-read the ones I read and finish the rest in anticipation.

I didn't read the article, because I don't care. If 3D lives or dies, I'll still go see whatever movie I want to see, no matter what the format. But here's a tip from Frugal (Felonious) Auntie Critter: 1) Pay for and see one 3D movie. 2) Save your glasses. 3) Next time a 3D movie comes to your local multiplex, check to see what non-overpriced-2D film starts about the same time. Put your saved glasses in your pocket/purse. 4) Buy ticket for more properly priced 2D film. 5) Get suddenly really clumsy and accidentally trip sideways into the screening room of the 3D film you really want to see. 6) Don't tell anyone you heard this from me.

I find it interesting that often, when someone professes an atheistic bent, it's because they have had the picture of an angry, vengeful god thrust on them throughout their lives. They seem to say that they'd rather believe in nothing, than to admit or accept such a cruel being as lording over the world. I wonder at the black/white of this thought process. There are religions and spiritualities that don't cotton to the picture of a pissed off manipulator at the helm of all there is. I'm not saying atheism is invalid - I am totally down with one deciding that the evidence around them just points to there not being any kind of god, period. I myself am comfortable in my agnosticism. I've gone from militant Catholic in my younger years (I actually seriously considered donning the habit at one time - seriously), to experimental Wiccan in my 20's, to somewhere in between. And I'm more happy in my spirituality than ever in my life. Part of my comfort lies in the fact that I disbelieve to the point of scoffing at the thought of an omnipotent being that floats over us, throwing distress after disaster after disease on the squares of a live chessboard, while we humans move from horrific space to horrific space trying to figure out how we pissed off the chessmaster. I find that laughable. And I can almost see how I could turn Gillette's argument around to say that to avoid believing in god because you DO see a god in that way says, "I actually do believe, and I don't like what I believe, so I'm going to say I just don't and hide under an umbrella of atheism." I frankly believe that some kind of omnipotent thing/force/whatever exists that creates, pure and simple. That sets things in motion and lets things evolve as they will. I think he/she/it steps back and says, "Ok. There you are. Do what the fuck you want with it and I won't interfere. It's all yours, bubbie, fuck it up and it's all on you." I think to think otherwise is to try to pass the blame for life's fuckups off one's self and throw your hands up in a cowardly passing of the karmic buck. But as I don't believe in a manipulative, sadistic god, I do believe in a creative, humorous, empathetic and sympathetic "something." (Not forgiving. Forgiveness implies judgment to me and I think I've made it clear I don't put any credence in that where god is concerned.) Something that, when the chips are seriously down, sometimes tries to help. That maybe said being isn't perfect, and knows it, and is careful - nay, even reluctant - to interfere at possible negative cost even he/she/it can't predict. I don't see lack of involvement as cruel. I see it as a skill limit almost. And maybe as a creation of opportunity. "I can't cure Aunt Millie's cancer, cancer developed, I didn't create it. But, I can fan the spark of determination in Nephew James that will enable him to become the scientist who develops the cure by the time he's 30. If he doesn't finish college, that's on him." <-- shrug. I just don't like to see the view of a god of vengence, retribution and fear scare people out of their spiritual slacks altogether.

Adding to my list: Deanna, a former schoolmate. She went on after graduation to specialize in helping special needs children. She deals with a son with his own special needs, not least among them Tourette's Syndrome. She's fluent in sign language. Her political stance mirrors my own almost identically, and she's way more eloquent than I am in discussing it. I've never met a more patient and empathetic mother. She waaay rocks.

Yeah, but who do you respect? Just kidding. You make some excellent points. It was hard for me to think of people I respect because I don't generally see anyone as being really superior to myself. Not that I think I'm all that, far from it. I just don't idolize people beyond those who have directly touched me - thus the family members on my list. People can, however, impress me, sometimes with a behavior, though process, action, etc that I find respectful because I might not necessarily find myself altruistic, smart or brave enough to do the same. I was heavy duty into making music for most of my life. And people seemed to think this meant that I would be all gaga to meet famous musicians or celebrities. Far from it. I see professional or famous musicians as nothing more than co-workers, really. Much better paid co-workers. But not really above me in some way just because they've "made it." If I were to encounter, say, Robert Smith, or Ringo Starr or Paul McCartney, I don't think I'd do more than smile and say, "thanks for the music." I have nothing really I want to know from them, don't need their advice, don't need to feel like I've somehow "touched greatness" by rubbing elbows with them. Cyndi Lauper made my list for several reasons. Not the least among them being her work with and for the GLBTG community. I did meet her once. I was mostly excited because I had a demo tape in a gift package I came prepared with "just in case" and the timing and circumstances were perfect. I shook her hand, said, "Thanks for the music," smiled and handed her the package. She thanked me back, smiled, and got on the bus with the tape in hand. For all I know, it ended up right in a trash can, but who knows, and no big deal. Chrissie Hynde has always been the only female in rock and roll to earn my respect because she did what she did without stooping to flashing her tits or taking a back seat to men. Among other reasons.

I was hospitalized for 10 days in 2008 with post-surgical pseudomonas and MRSA infections. Basically, got it in a spot between my naughty bits and my belly button. My doctor cut out a chunk of necrotic tissue in my abdomen, leaving a golfball sized crater behind. She thought this was fine. I refused to look at it. It wasn't until my visiting nurse had to teach Jon how to change my packing and dressing that he saw it - and freaked out in the most undemonstrative way possible. Ended up re-admitted to the hospital where the CDC was called in to call the shots. They cut out a wedge of belly and a plastic surgeon put me back together. Put me on a wound vac for a few days, kept me on mega antibiotics, gave me a couple blood transfusions, and then released me after 10 days. Still had to walk around for a couple weeks with basically a rubber turkey baster bulb and tube sticking out of me, constantly sucking fluids out. "What's that making a bulge in your dress?" "That's my bulb." "Your what?" "My bulb. My sucky bulb." "Riiiight..." Took almost a year to recover totally from 3 surgeries in 2 weeks, anesthesia and antibiotic side-effects, and weakness. I have to tell dentists and specialists that I have had MRSA. I am apparently susceptible to catching it again easily. Yippee. But on a good note, I never received a single bill for any of this. Not even copays or deductibles. Pretty sure my doctor took care of that. Nice of her, huh?

Sticking to respect and NOT admiration - they are different areas of consideration for me (in no particular order): My father Abraham Lincoln Two sisters in particular A friend I made last year who is a college English professor Nancy, my former therapist My husband The current Dalai Lama Dr. Joy Browne Chrissie Hynde Cyndi Lauper Myself The creator of Farmville Ok. That last one was a joke.

By the way, a girl I once knew, not knowing my sign, once went off about Pisceans as being exceptionally flighty, flaky, and undependable. This from a girl who hopped from one guy to another to another, and once talked about dumping her kid off on her mother so she could be free and walk around with a case of beer on a wagon pulled by a string. Meanwhile, I was there anytime she called to help her out with a ride, a buck, a shoulder, until I realized she was a worthless user and stopped being available at her every whim. Zodiac, shmodiac.

If you were to attribute the same things to any of the other signs, I'm quite confident you'd find a Leo, Sagittarius, Gemini, etc who would also be able to say the same things. That's one of the problems with the zodiac. It's very generalized. It's like a palm reader telling a person, "You've come to me because you are concerned about... something..." Duh. We're ALL concerned about something. Keep in mind, I'm open-minded, not quick to downplay things people believe in just because I don't believe in the same. However, "fortune telling" and personality attributes based on gross generalities don't hold much stock with me.

Birthdate: February 27. Paganism: Been there, done that, now a non-denominational agnostic leaning toward the somewhat druidic/Christian dual-faith practiced by my Polish ancestors. Non-attraction to Big Muscular Men: Jon wore a size 30 waist when I met him. He's filled out some, but he's still smaller than me. He's not muscular but he can lift about 400 lbs. I think I'll keep him. Non-attraction to rich dudes: Jon didn't have a penny when we met and we've barely got two to rub together now. If you were to pose the Dr. Joy Brown relationship test question to me, "If you won the lottery tomorrow would you stay with him?" My answer would be, "I'd look forward to seeing him quit his job and sit by the pool sipping non-alcoholic frozen strawberry margaritas all day." But to be honest, I don't put any stock in the zodiac. Sorry.

Many thanks.

Garlic is very good for you. If you want to use bottled garlic, use garlic powder, not garlic salt. And diced garlic should be fine so long as it doesn't have any uhealthy additives. Ditto hotsauce. It's all in the make-up. But you can always make your own hot sauce. Or use cayenne pepper instead. You could do a lot worse than parmesan. A tomato sauce with a little parmesan added is better than a creamy alfredo.