How Are You Feeling?

[Troy Spiral (13)]

On 9/23/2016 at 11:13 PM, Draco1958 said:

Your brain can't focus because of so many things to do.  It doesn't know where to start.  I suggest make a list then number them in order of importance.  This way you may be able to isolate each item to focus on.  The throw a random not important in now and then to take a break so to speak.  It might help.

Taken me awhile to respond to some stuff, using the phone is a pain in the ass for me, and I don't always have access to a computer....

Thats what I ended up doing , I just picked the least frustrating thing on my list of frustrating things... and made a video probably spent way too much time in that video talking about the cards.. but anyhow....  Although that "feels" like 100 years ago even  it was only a couple days, all the other crap I've been doing and just the way my days go, a day feels more like the way I remember a month feeling... but I have gotten a bunch of things done now.  Damn that was some piss poor sentence structure. 

[Troy Spiral (13)]

On 9/25/2016 at 7:57 AM, phee said:

I feel that there is no answer because we cannot find the question.

That has become my answer as far as I can tell (and I looked and looked for like a decade+).  There is no question so there is no answer.   Its just... we create our own question / answer session by fiat.  

[Troy Spiral (13)]

On 9/25/2016 at 11:33 PM, creatureofthenyte said:

I feel that beer is a suitable substitute answer, to most questions.

I also feel that when confused/upset/depressed I talk to food about it. 

[Troy Spiral (13)]

On 9/24/2016 at 2:46 AM, michael840 said:

I am feeling ok.  I seem to have the motorcycle in good shape now.  Still only doing short test rides until Chel gets home.  I don't really feel like taking the chance of being stranded in the middle of nowhere with no one to call if I missed something on the bike.  I am pretty lonely and depressed with but not much longer until Chel is home.

Is she home now?  

[Michael8402]

Just now, Troy Spiral said:

Is she home now?  

Chel did make it home Sunday night while I was at work.  I haven't been in such a hurry to get out of work in a long time.  My motorcycle is running ok now and just needs a little tweeking of the carbs.  I have test ridden it about 100 miles since the rebuild so far.  Now I have to get Chel's motorcycle running again.

[Troy Spiral (13)]

On 9/27/2016 at 0:34 AM, Trene4000 said:

I can't believe that we've lost so many family members in less than a year. Our mother, grandmother, two aunts, a cousin, an uncle, and five furbabies.

It's taking so much not to just crumble into pieces. I keep waiting for the next one. The next phone call. The next life gone.

I finally understand that "peace that surpasses all understanding". Every time I start falling apart, that peace rises, filling me. I should be crazy from the stress but I'm not.

The hurt from all this loss nearly paralyzed me and the overwhelming guilt I felt, being so useless, it was tearing me up. Until the voice of reason pointed out how I had no control over other people. I was reminded that my mother was tired of fighting stage four sarcoma. She already outlived numerous friends, including her best friend, and one of her sisters. My grandmother was ancient and had already suffered several heart attacks and strokes. Mikey was 15 (105 years old in human years). We knew nothing about the mass pressing against his spine or the fluid that cut off his ability to eliminate waste from his body until he suddenly collapsed in pain. Momiji was going to be 18 in October (almost 126 years old in human years). She had gone into kidney failure. She was diagnosed with chronic kidney disease in June of 2015. For her to live this long, still playing like a kitten, was a true miracle.

I was able to let go of the guilt. Right now I'm just trying not to focus on all the loss, especially of my little Momiji just this Saturday. I'm just taking it one minute at a time. Keeping busy or occupying my mind with other activities. I still have the kids to help out with and my boys to see about.

 

 

 

So many happy memories to hold on to. When I start to feel sad, I'll remember those good days and the many fun adventures we've had.

I'm thankful the accident didn't steal those. 

 

HUUUUUGS

I think I keep losing aunts and uncles and such now ... because well I'm 40 so that makes them all 60+ and ...  /sadface.   The pets I've never had that many all at once, but I know it really really is terrible too.  :( 

Your last line is good.   We could look at the loss as "well It could have been that I never knew them at all" at least we had the time we did.  Thats what we get  a life.   Not that this sort of thinking is always of much comfort. 

[Troy Spiral (13)]

On 9/24/2016 at 5:31 PM, Draco1958 said:

Totally depressed.  Car is going to cost $950 to fix.  All the freeze plugs need to be replaced.  They have to remove the engine to get to them.  Plus 1 of the plugs can't be guaranteed to hold.  Some kind of issue with the block I guess.  So now we need to find a way to come up with a down payment to buy a car.  Not going to trust craigslist anymore.  2 out of 3 cars we got off of there have had more problems than we were led to believe.  I had a feeling but my roommate who bought the car really wanted it and now blames me and his brother for pushing him into buying it.  Won't be able to attend Thursday night's greet due to no transportation.  I think I am just gonna find a hole in the ground and bury myself in it.  Starting to think it's not worth it anymore.  I need something nice to happen and soon.

That is really rough.  Honestly the whole mess.  I can totally empathize with the just wanting to find a hole and/or just throwing in the towel.   But it passes ... eventually.  Not that that is much comfort when you are in the middle of it.  We gotta find someone out that way that comes to the gathering,  there has to be someone. 

[Troy Spiral (13)]

On 9/25/2016 at 4:01 AM, kat said:

I feel thankful for Tron and ScaryGuy letting me cry to them Thursday...thank you guys.  I appreciate the great advice too. ❤

It made so much sense. 

I'm thankful for them too and I don't even know what it was about , but I'm glad they were there for you.  

[Troy Spiral (13)]

On 9/27/2016 at 8:40 PM, kat said:

I feel like I been spending my time in Ypsi and Ann Arbor so I got a new job there now to move. 

You seem to be a pro at moving.  I have a heart attack every time I start thinking about it.  (and I really should do it, just the $$$ is never really there and even just the idea is scary. I guess due to the damn $$ uncertainty)

I used to live out there, certainly a lot more stuff to do there than most areas,  used to live right downtown/campus AA I had a vehicle but I didn't even really need it.   Good to hear you got a job  there.  Hopefully your boss isn't some chauvinist ass, mom and pop business running douche. 

[Troy Spiral (13)]

On 9/23/2016 at 8:56 PM, creatureofthenyte said:

I feel like there's a lot of time between now and Monday, even though there isn't.

I remember thinking that.  Then sunday night I'm like....  FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF what happened?

[Troy Spiral (13)]

I'm never going to get either of my two materialistic BS "for fun" dreams that I've had for years.   Not sure that a feeling, might be more a fact. 

[sekhmet2002]

Not too bad. Could be better but that's the way of things.

[Michael8402]

Feeling sad about our loss and frustrated with life in general.  As my Scottish friend always says "These things are sent to try us."  

[Troy Spiral (13)]

On 9/29/2016 at 2:38 AM, michael840 said:

Feeling sad about our loss and frustrated with life in general.  As my Scottish friend always says "These things are sent to try us."  

We have jumped through enough hoops. We need to get a rubber stamp that says 'return to sender', just start stamping like crazy and send that shit back.

[Troy Spiral (13)]

Stupid exausted. For no clear reason.... again.

[Michael8402]

feeling ok.  I wish it would stop raining though.  I could really use a good motorcycle ride.

[sekhmet2002]

Really pissed off and tired.

1 hour ago, michael840 said:

feeling ok.  I wish it would stop raining though.  I could really use a good motorcycle ride.

I feel the same way, Michael.

[Michael8402]

47 minutes ago, sekhmet2002 said:

Really pissed off and tired.

I feel the same way, Michael.

The song It Can't Rain All the Time from the Crow comes to mind.  lol

[kat (1)]

I don't know. 

[Trene4000]

I'm in pain!!!! . I never knew it was possible that every single muscle in my body could hurt! I really don't like fibromyalgia.

[kat (1)]

12 hours ago, Trene4000 said:

I'm in pain!!!! . I never knew it was possible that every single muscle in my body could hurt! I really don't like fibromyalgia.

Hugs😢

[kat (1)]

I wish I could trust between love and lust.

I hate were all jaded and full of disgust.

I wish I could sleep, I'm tired of sheep....counting them everywhere like little bo peep.

I wish I could lie, the sake of my life alone without anyone so I sit and cry

The tears they have fallen

noone hear me calling

Maybe they are listening

but keep fucking stallin'

I could have been better  

I could have been worst

Lying six feet under

 last ride was a hearse

writing this shit

that don't noone get....

Although it is real straight up legit 

Nobody wants to here hear it. ...so I best just quit.

 

 

 

 

 

Edited October 2, 2016 by kat

[TronRP]

Feels like if I don't hurry up and take care of these court papers, weatherproofing the basement, maintenancing these heaters, making annual appointments for the kids and fixing my catalytic converter, I might get too swamped if anything else should happen.

[Michael8402]

40 minutes ago, TronRP said:

Feels like if I don't hurry up and take care of these court papers, weatherproofing the basement, maintenancing these heaters, making annual appointments for the kids and fixing my catalytic converter, I might get too swamped if anything else should happen.

Let me know if you need any help.  I have done a few catalytic converters and they are always easier with a second person.  

[Michael8402]

I am tired and I think I need coffee.