How Are You Feeling?

[TronRP]

Oh my goodness I'm in disbelief...

SCREW BEDTIME!

I can't believe I yelled that at my nephew...

[kat (1)]

On 11/28/2016 at 2:11 AM, Draco1958 said:

Sounds like someone is having hot flashes.   Is it the flu or is someone getting to you?    LOL  MUAHAHAhahahahaha

 

23 hours ago, TronRP said:

I was thinking Mother Nature had come knocking...

My body hates me.

 

Edited November 29, 2016 by kat

[phee]

Kicked in the stomach

 

[GothicRavenGoddess (3)]

Inadequate and exhausted.

the season's are changing and it's affecting my whole system. so each illness takes a turn flaring. don't get much done, these days. It's frustrating. 

...so also frustrated lol

[sekhmet2002]

On 11/29/2016 at 8:28 AM, kat said:

 

My body hates me.

 

 

I hope you feel better soon, Kat. *hugs*

[sekhmet2002]

1 hour ago, GothicRavenGoddess said:

Inadequate and exhausted.

the season's are changing and it's affecting my whole system. so each illness takes a turn flaring. don't get much done, these days. It's frustrating. 

...so also frustrated lol

 

And same to you GRG. I hope you start feeling better.

[creatureofthenyte]

Good

[GothicRavenGoddess (3)]

4 hours ago, sekhmet2002 said:

And same to you GRG. I hope you start feeling better.

[Draco1958]

Between screwing up the photos of the train, the screwed up Thanksgiving, holiday depression and general depression, I am starting to think I should just crawl under the covers and never come out.  The screwed up train photos have me so depressed I actually cried on the way home.  Then seeing the news and realizing that I should have gone to Thunderbowl as originally planned just made it worse.  Starting to wonder if I should even try anymore.  Seems all my plans go down the toilet.  So the thoughts of withdrawing from public are coming back because I am worried I will screw something up and hurt a friend.  Hate feeling this way.  But with Nov thru Jan being the time frame I lost my mom, still feeling the rejection from the divorce, both of which are years old and the current holiday BS going on here it's getting seriously rough to get up each day and act like everything is fine.

[Michael8402]

Starting to feel a little bit closer to normal.  I just need to start kicking myself in the butt to get myself doing stuff again.  Blah.  Oh...  I finally got my gems in for my jewelry making so hopefully the creative feelings come back soon.

[phee]

You know that feeling when your _____ is _____ yeah I feel like that but with more ____.

[Maureen Falcon]

Dying hurts, but I'm going down fighting. F you MS!

[TronRP]

I feel I need to stop beating myself up over things I can do nothing about.

[TronRP]

On 12/1/2016 at 2:34 PM, Moe Falcon said:

Dying hurts, but I'm going down fighting. F you MS!

[Troy Spiral (13)]

10 hours ago, TronRP said:

I feel I need to stop beating myself up over things I can do nothing about.

Me too sister. *hugs* 

[Troy Spiral (13)]

On 12/1/2016 at 2:34 PM, Moe Falcon said:

Dying hurts, but I'm going down fighting. F you MS!

*hugs*

 

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age [and ills ]should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

[Troy Spiral (13)]

Like a useless beggar.  To live I need to swallow my pride, not JUST on $$ issues but on all sorts of things. I have to ask for or accept help.  Which really feels bad or unworthy of me and my sense of lets call it for lack of a better word "honor".   It's not enough to just breath air and eat food.  To start to be happier I need to change my mindset but in the mean time I need to have things to be happy with/about.  Its too much.  Too many have helped me already.  I've already used up any share of "help" anyone is entitled to. I have to "let go" of a lot.  Which I have made SOME progress. But my pride Which is partly why I want to live, so I can regain my 'real' sense pride (not the kind of pride that is currently holding me back) and sense of self worth.  But the process that it takes to get there is so damn pathetic and "dependant" that it seems at least on and off like there is no point in bothering to continue.

 I'm trying to fight it, but its not easy.  I will say many people here have made it a little easier.  Can't thank you enough for that.  For some reason my damn emotional side just keeps beating me to shit.  I feel like I'm dragging heavy wet ropes around with me everywhere, all the time, 24/7 365 with  very little reason to ever be actually happy.  When I find myself being happy its almost like I don't deserve it or I don't even have the right to ask for help, as there are plenty of non-hopeless cases out there that could better use the help/resources.  

[Maureen Falcon]

4 hours ago, Troy Spiral said:

*hugs*

 

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age [and ills ]should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

if only it was age that were my adversary..

[Maureen Falcon]

On 12/1/2016 at 8:07 AM, phee said:

You know that feeling when your _____ is _____ yeah I feel like that but with more ____.

"back and hips (are) that of a 70 year old"?  "pain and disability".

[Maureen Falcon]

3 hours ago, Troy Spiral said:

Like a useless beggar.  To live I need to swallow my pride, not JUST on $$ issues but on all sorts of things. I have to ask for or accept help.  Which really feels bad or unworthy of me and my sense of lets call it for lack of a better word "honor".   It's not enough to just breath air and eat food.  To start to be happier I need to change my mindset but in the mean time I need to have things to be happy with/about.  Its too much.  Too many have helped me already.  I've already used up any share of "help" anyone is entitled to. I have to "let go" of a lot.  Which I have made SOME progress. But my pride Which is partly why I want to live, so I can regain my 'real' sense pride (not the kind of pride that is currently holding me back) and sense of self worth.  But the process that it takes to get there is so damn pathetic and "dependant" that it seems at least on and off like there is no point in bothering to continue.

 I'm trying to fight it, but its not easy.  I will say many people here have made it a little easier.  Can't thank you enough for that.  For some reason my damn emotional side just keeps beating me to shit.  I feel like I'm dragging heavy wet ropes around with me everywhere, all the time, 24/7 365 with  very little reason to ever be actually happy.  When I find myself being happy its almost like I don't deserve it or I don't even have the right to ask for help, as there are plenty of non-hopeless cases out there that could better use the help/resources.  

You get better, you. There is hope for you. I have to smile and nod at my well-wishers. They mean well, I know, so I try but inside I am screaming: "MS is terminal. There is no "Getting better" My own brain is housing lesions that will -never- get better. I take drugs to slow it down, but I want to take speed to let it be over already!

Sucks to watch your body fall apart slowly, bit by bit, never knowing what will go next. The chronic pain lets me know that part is still there. I can still see/hear/taste.. feel? most of me.. I qualify for disability, but an attorney said, "You make too much money to bother." I might get $100 a month because of my kids' dad. yay?

Troy, please go to war.. you have accomplished so much. Things I could never do. You gave John and I a place to exist. You brought together people that would have never met. You're one of my favorite people. I hate people. I am a "hopeless case", what do you advise me?

[TronRP]

18 hours ago, Troy Spiral said:

Like a useless beggar.  To live I need to swallow my pride, not JUST on $$ issues but on all sorts of things. I have to ask for or accept help.  Which really feels bad or unworthy of me and my sense of lets call it for lack of a better word "honor".   It's not enough to just breath air and eat food.  To start to be happier I need to change my mindset but in the mean time I need to have things to be happy with/about.  Its too much.  Too many have helped me already.  I've already used up any share of "help" anyone is entitled to. I have to "let go" of a lot.  Which I have made SOME progress. But my pride Which is partly why I want to live, so I can regain my 'real' sense pride (not the kind of pride that is currently holding me back) and sense of self worth.  But the process that it takes to get there is so damn pathetic and "dependant" that it seems at least on and off like there is no point in bothering to continue.

 I'm trying to fight it, but its not easy.  I will say many people here have made it a little easier.  Can't thank you enough for that.  For some reason my damn emotional side just keeps beating me to shit.  I feel like I'm dragging heavy wet ropes around with me everywhere, all the time, 24/7 365 with  very little reason to ever be actually happy.  When I find myself being happy its almost like I don't deserve it or I don't even have the right to ask for help, as there are plenty of non-hopeless cases out there that could better use the help/resources.  

 

14 hours ago, Moe Falcon said:

You get better, you. There is hope for you. I have to smile and nod at my well-wishers. They mean well, I know, so I try but inside I am screaming: "MS is terminal. There is no "Getting better" My own brain is housing lesions that will -never- get better. I take drugs to slow it down, but I want to take speed to let it be over already!

Sucks to watch your body fall apart slowly, bit by bit, never knowing what will go next. The chronic pain lets me know that part is still there. I can still see/hear/taste.. feel? most of me.. I qualify for disability, but an attorney said, "You make too much money to bother." I might get $100 a month because of my kids' dad. yay?

Troy, please go to war.. you have accomplished so much. Things I could never do. You gave John and I a place to exist. You brought together people that would have never met. You're one of my favorite people. I hate people. I am a "hopeless case", what do you advise me?

Yes Troy, as Moe has said "please go to war".  You are much appreciated.  And not to sound cliché, but you truly saved my life.  That I will forever be grateful to you for.

Ganbatte Niisan, Ganbatte!!!

[Michael8402]

Slightly frustrated but excited.  Got the Dremel 4000 today with a few extra kits for jewelry making.  I am trying to get an extremely difficult double stone tension set into a ring and I already cracked one of the decorative twists I had on the ring.  I had to cut it and shrink the ring size.  Probably better anyways since it was a size 10.5.  Now it is going to be a size 8. 

[kat (1)]

On 11/30/2016 at 9:47 PM, sekhmet2002 said:

I hope you feel better soon, Kat. *hugs*

Thanks. It passed finally. My doc said that stomach flu was going around right now.

[TronRP]

Feeling lost in a sea of thought...

[GothicRavenGoddess (3)]

*sigh*

How I am feeling is very complicated. lots of conflicted feelings swirling around. this month is hard on me. I've posted about it on Facebook.... this month, and this year, marks 13 years... if I'd have been a mom 13 years ago... and it's a heavy feeling.

Between my health and my lack of money... I know i am better off to not have had them. But it still hurts, because that might have been my only chance.

We are broke. And it makes me feel like shit that I can't do anything to fix it.

Feeling not good enough. my hats don't sell. 

And all I do is fucking complain because it's all I got left.

Now I'm feeling... pathetic...