chix with dix

[Draco1958]

It's a different type of attraction, not just based on looks. I have known many women who I have been friends with yet no interest in a sexual relationship with them. And the comments..attractive to be seen in public with and attractive enough to be friends with...ummm when does attractiveness have anything to do with being friends and hanging out in public together....nothing unless one is using her as arm candy or because one has a need to be seen with certain quality people in which case that is really shallow IMHO. I guess thought patterns change as one gets older.

Marc and Hipster,

Good points. We can overcome our urges, with great effort. Married men do it all the time with the women they encounter in thier day to day lives. I don't understand why a single man would though. I don't fault a man that does, I just don't understand why.

As for someone not being attractive... If she's attractive enough to be seen in public with, and attrative enough to be friends with... How is she not attractive enough to fuck?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[The_Dark]

1. Your not that much older than me.

2. People are shallow and vain, you should know that by your age.

3. Men rate women based on looks. It is how our minds work. Some women are on the level that we will mate with them.. other are so unattractive to us that we would not be seen in public with them. Most fall somewhere inbetween. No amount of being PC is going to change that. Deal.

[ZhukovCodeslinger]

1. Your not that much older than me.

2. People are shallow and vain, you should know that by your age.

3. Men rate women based on looks. It is how our minds work. Some women are on the level that we will mate with them.. other are so unattractive to us that we would not be seen in public with them. Most fall somewhere inbetween. No amount of being PC is going to change that. Deal.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

LOL :woot:

ouch....!!!!!

[Homicidalheathen]

Sometimes though.....it is good to think that the man who turned you down is gay. It makes you feel better.

YOUR ALL A BUNCH OF *UCKING YOU KNOW WHATIZ! There. Now I feel better.

[Reaper]

Well, I must say after dealing with Nicole, I have to admit that as beautiful as she is, I was just not sexually attracted to her. She was always a friend online and I think my brain kept thinking that throughout her stay here. And I am always sexual toward women. So I think the fact that this guy thought of her as a friend only is legit, as it has happened to me.

[The_Dark]

But why did you just think of her as a friend? I mean, deep down... Who decided that and how? In your case... well, thats not a normal situation. You met her online... she was a non-entity with a voice for most of the time you knew her... by the time you saw her, a decision had already been made and seated in your mind.

In "real life" where men and women are "friends"... that part is usually decided by the female... The man may be attracted to her when they meet, but it's not mutual... he sticks around hopeing and praying that someday she changes her mind... but it rarely happens. So friends they are and friends they stay.

[Scary Guy]

The man may be attracted to her when they meet, but it's not mutual... he sticks around hopeing and praying that someday she changes her mind... but it rarely happens. So friends they are and friends they stay.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Until the man gets fed up with it and just becomes bitter and pushes her away...

Nevermind, just wanted to post a quote anyway.

"A friend is someone with an unforgivable flaw that makes him/her unfuckable"

[JaneDead]

wow what a lot of bullshit going on in here

first - this guy is gay cuz he doesn't jump a half naked girls bones? huh what? if you are a guy that would have sex with a girl just cuz she is naked in your bed i would think you are desperate more than anything else. or have no self control. or you can only view women on the scale of fuckable or not like the dark seems to.

which is another thing i want to know- do men really think this way? i have a hard time thinking that every guy i have ever know has placed me on a fuckable or not fuckable scale. it is degrading to me and it is degrading to them. i'd like to think the male friends i have had over the years that have not been interested in me still think of me as a PERSON with whom they have things in common, they can trust, talk to hang out, etc etc without having a scale above my head saying something like "6.5 fuckable" oh oh wait she put on some weight.... "4.5 fuckable now"

i mean i get that some people i know will look at me and think wow, she is pretty. or wow she is kind of gross. but females will do that to me too. and it has nothing to do with "sex" it has to do with vanity. i have had female friends that i thought were almost hideous- sad but true and i wondered "wow, how can anyone sleep with them??" that's a pretty damn vain thing to think about anyone don't you think? but hey, i thought it. sometimes you can't help those thoughts.

i don't think it is a guy verses girl thing either. if you are a guy you can think "all guys think this way, i am a guy trust me i know" but you know what, i don't buy it.

just like i am a girl and think certain things but i definately don't think all girls think like i do. or that i think like them.

i have friends, a married couple, who won't even be friends with people of the opposite sex. they are both ok with that, so hey to each their own. but i on the other hand have a lot of male friends and would never be ok with not being allowed to do so.

man i am glad my husband doesn't think like the average guy or i wouldn't be allowed to hang out with my friends - cuz my husband might think i am too fuckable to do so.

[Msterbeau]

wow what a lot of bullshit going on in here

first - this guy is gay cuz he doesn't jump a half naked girls bones? huh what? if you are a guy that would have sex with a girl just cuz she is naked in your bed i would think you are desperate more than anything else. or have no self control. or you can only view women on the scale of fuckable or not like the dark seems to.

which is another thing i want to know- do men really think this way? i have a hard time thinking that every guy i have ever know has placed me on a fuckable or not fuckable scale. it is degrading to me and it is degrading to them. i'd like to think the male friends i have had over the years that have not been interested in me still think of me as a PERSON with whom they have things in common, they can trust, talk to hang out, etc etc without having a scale above my head saying something like "6.5 fuckable" oh oh wait she put on some weight.... "4.5 fuckable now"

i mean i get that some people i know will look at me and think wow, she is pretty. or wow she is kind of gross. but females will do that to me too. and it has nothing to do with "sex" it has to do with vanity. i have had female friends that i thought were almost hideous- sad but true and i wondered "wow, how can anyone sleep with them??" that's  a pretty damn vain thing to think about anyone don't you think? but hey, i thought it. sometimes you can't help those thoughts.

i don't think it is a guy verses girl thing either. if you are a guy you can think "all guys think this way, i am a guy trust me i know" but you know what, i don't buy it.

just like i am a girl and think certain things but i definately don't think all girls think like i do. or that i think like them.

i have friends, a married couple, who won't even be friends with people of the opposite sex. they are both ok with that, so hey to each their own. but i on the other hand have a lot of male friends and would never be ok with not being allowed to do so.

man i am glad my husband doesn't think like the average guy or i wouldn't be allowed to hang out with my friends - cuz my husband might think i am too fuckable to do so.

Totally agree. But I think you knew that already.

[HipsterDufus]

wow what a lot of bullshit going on in here

first - this guy is gay cuz he doesn't jump a half naked girls bones? huh what? if you are a guy that would have sex with a girl just cuz she is naked in your bed i would think you are desperate more than anything else. or have no self control. or you can only view women on the scale of fuckable or not like the dark seems to.

which is another thing i want to know- do men really think this way? i have a hard time thinking that every guy i have ever know has placed me on a fuckable or not fuckable scale. it is degrading to me and it is degrading to them. i'd like to think the male friends i have had over the years that have not been interested in me still think of me as a PERSON with whom they have things in common, they can trust, talk to hang out, etc etc without having a scale above my head saying something like "6.5 fuckable" oh oh wait she put on some weight.... "4.5 fuckable now"

i mean i get that some people i know will look at me and think wow, she is pretty. or wow she is kind of gross. but females will do that to me too. and it has nothing to do with "sex" it has to do with vanity. i have had female friends that i thought were almost hideous- sad but true and i wondered "wow, how can anyone sleep with them??" that's  a pretty damn vain thing to think about anyone don't you think? but hey, i thought it. sometimes you can't help those thoughts.

i don't think it is a guy verses girl thing either. if you are a guy you can think "all guys think this way, i am a guy trust me i know" but you know what, i don't buy it.

just like i am a girl and think certain things but i definately don't think all girls think like i do. or that i think like them.

i have friends, a married couple, who won't even be friends with people of the opposite sex. they are both ok with that, so hey to each their own. but i on the other hand have a lot of male friends and would never be ok with not being allowed to do so.

man i am glad my husband doesn't think like the average guy or i wouldn't be allowed to hang out with my friends - cuz my husband might think i am too fuckable to do so.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Well, I can't claim to speak for everyone, but I'll speak for myself and my experiences. As a guy, the first thing I look at in any friend (guy or girl) is whether or not they have common interests, are fun to be around, and enjoy being around me. I really could care less whether or not my female friends are attractive. While I will admit that I think that some of them are attractive, I am certainly not friends with them because I think they're "fuckable". And when I say "some", I mean "some." There are some girls that I hang out with that, even were I single, I would not have sex with. And yes, were I single, I would still hang out with them. *shrug* Like I said, I can't speak for everyone, but I'd much rather hang out with a fun, smart unattractive girl than a beautiful retard that can't hold a conversation.

[The_Dark]

I would like to point out that I did bring up the vanity thing, but, yes, guys think like that. I doubt you will get many to admit it though. It's hard to get someone to have sex with you or respect you if they know the inner workings of your mind. I mean really know what goes on in your head. Not all of it happens on a level that people are even concouis of... hell, even the vanity part of it really boils down to sex. Like... only having people around you that make you look good.. in the end, that boils down to increasing how attractive you are...

[Rayne]

Whoa, wait ... people are more screwed in the head than I thought.

My guy friends are only my friends because I'm hot? WHAT??? :blink

Here I was thinking they enjoyed my personality and my love of cars, but in retrospect they were wanting to fuck me?

Whoa ... that's a lot of guys who wanted me ... that's insane ...

... and I don't buy it for a minute. I think I'm cute, so I can't use the "ugly" line here ... but come on! I have had a TON of guy friends, as the guys I have dated have had a lot of females friends.

From a female point of view, I have friends (guys) who are just GREAT friends, who I would never fuck. I have an awesome friend (he will remain nameless) whom I would never have any kind of relations with. We joke about it ... but my friendship with him is much more important. I have another friend (who shall also remain nameless) whom we kinda started out the opposite ... in the end, we're still great friends and I wouldn't trade his friendship for the world but we're very lucky that the first part of our relationship didn't end the rest. Both of these guys are awesome people and I would do anything in the world for either. They are not my friends because they are attractive. They are my friends because they are both smart ass punks ... like me. (okay, there's more to it than that ...) :innocent

... I apologize for the long drawn out "more than you needed to know" post ... but I highly doubt guys think much differently. Don't get me wrong, there are exceptions (with both sexes) ... but still.

[The_Dark]

Men and women don't think alike. At all. You don't have to beleive it or like. It doesn't change the fact. Everything a male does boils down to sex. In some distant vague way... but sex it is.

[HipsterDufus]

I can understand the point that dark is trying to make insofar as sex can never fully be removed from friendship. Think about relationships with members of the same sex even. If you're a guy who's friends with some really hot guy, odds are good that you will worry at some point that he's going to try and get it on with your lady. The point I'd like to make is that, while attraction can be a factor in friendship, it will not be the only factor.

[The_Dark]

Right, I am in no way saying sex is the only thing... just that it's a major thing.

[Brenda Starrr]

Wow. Maybe all my male friends really DO want to do me, and I just don't know it.

Yeah, right.

[Homicidalheathen]

I know all my male freinds want me. But I don't care. None of them is getting any. If I wanted to I would have already and they know it. :woot:

[HipsterDufus]

Wow. Maybe all my male friends really DO want to do me, and I just don't know it.

Yeah, right.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

So can you honestly say that you've never even considered (even for the briefest moment) what it would be like to have sex with one of your friends? It's never even crossed your mind?

[JaneDead]

Men and women don't think alike. At all. You don't have to beleive it or like. It doesn't change the fact. Everything a male does boils down to sex. In some distant vague way... but sex it is.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

i know men and women don't think alike. at all. but i also know that not all men think like other men and not all women think like other women.

to imply that men can only think of all women in a sexual way is admitting that women are then only viewed as pieces of meat. like filet mignon and ground chuck and varying "cuts" in between. by admitting that i would think it is also safe to assume then there is a lack of respect for women and they are not viewed as equals. but rather how appealing they would be to sleep with. if you or any other guy you know or think you know feels like that- i am not doubting it. hey, you admitted it. i believe you. but i don't believe that every guy i have EVER known has viewed me and other women this way.

just like people assume that women have the lower sex drives and it's joked about ALL the time - there are men who have lower sex drives and women who have higher sex drives. so there are men out there that aren't driven by this just as there are women out there that as vain and shallow as you are describing.

why does it have to be a "guy thing"? to me this is about sex and vanity, not men verses women in their way of thinking. sexuality has to with other aspects, not just how you look on a scale from one to ten.

and the person who originally wrote this post should not feel they were "rejected" and it was because they were not "fuckable" - because based on the replies here that is the feeling i get is trying to be made.

[ZhukovCodeslinger]

nevermind

[Brenda Starrr]

So can you honestly say that you've never even considered (even for the briefest moment) what it would be like to have sex with one of your friends?  It's never even crossed your mind?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I can honestly say that I don't recall ever thinking about what it would be like. I may be forgetting somewhere, but I really don't recall.

[Rayne]

I can honestly say that I don't recall ever thinking about what it would be like. I may be forgetting somewhere, but I really don't recall.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Exactly. If I was thinking about it, they were more than just a friend at that point.

edit - I have to learn to type slower ... fewer mistakes.

[JaneDead]

So can you honestly say that you've never even considered (even for the briefest moment) what it would be like to have sex with one of your friends?  It's never even crossed your mind?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

i agree that that happens too but i don't think it has to happen with EVERY person you ever know of the opposite sex.

i have had very attractive friends but not felt a thing for them at all.

and then again i have known people who were what could be considered not attractive and i liked them anyway. (i mean liked them as more than a friend)

but my *attraction* for people doesn't come from a vain place i suppose.

then i have had friends that i thought of as more than friends, those were the people i actually got involved with. and one of them i even married.

and for me when i am with someone- that is who i am with. i don't even consider other people at all. i know other people are not like that. i know other people say things like "i'm married, not dead" in regards to be attracted to other people.

i however just don't feel attracted to other people other than who i am with. or other than who i want to be with.

[The_Dark]

I'm just going to let this lay. I don't have the will to explain human male sexuality and how it affects our thought patterns. I could go on about Testosterone levels and how most men overcome the primal urge part of themselves... some by embracing it and understanding it others by denying it.... You have already made up your mind on the subject and no amount of information is going to change that misconception... No matter how much you don't like it... every male you encounter is judging you by your looks.. on some level of their consciousness.

[Msterbeau]

Cemetarystarr is gonna come back and wonder what the hell happened to her simple question.... :laughing :laughing :laughing