Jump to content

Ask The DGN Genie


phee

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 486
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

oh good DGN Genie: when will I have some real fun?

post-255-1154018306.jpg

"You gotta get to the party store first thing in the morning and stand in line to wait for the place to open it's doors--first thing in the morning is when malt-liquor, which has been waiting in the refridgerator all night, is at it's coldest temperature. And you'll never have more fun than a bottle of Colt45 at 7am."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

dear DGN genie: Who was the person to look at a cow and say: "Lets drink whatever comes out of these dangly things?" Ive just always wondered.

post-255-1154018306.jpg

Remember that one guy who insisted he was your uncle Rick?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Oh great and powerful Genie......

I just got awesome new shoes. But, when I walk in them, they make fart noises. Will I still be cute, despite that sound?

post-8-1122308319_thumb.jpg

"Dear Brenda Starrr,

When I was a young boy I counldn't never afford no shoes fer my feet at all, and my mama always used to remind me: "I was sad that I didn't have no shoes, 'till I met the man who didn't have no socks". -Just like the Bible says. Also, the sounds you hear are actually your soul being sucked out of you through your ass. -Just the way the Lord intended."

Edited by Paper Hearts
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Forum Statistics

    38.8k
    Total Topics
    819.7k
    Total Posts
  • Who's Online   0 Members, 0 Anonymous, 96 Guests (See full list)

    • There are no registered users currently online

  • Topics

  • Posts

    • About to get this day started.  Yesterday, my vehicle was towed to our neighborhood service center and was started on.  I also took care of multiple appointments and errands.  Now I'm about to verify orders and then start on yardwork detailing. 
    • 12:00am - Who's Online   1 Member, 0 Anonymous, 89 Guests (See full list) TronRP
    • I’m feeling the temptation to get dressed and go out to the store to get some dessert.  I’m also feeling restraint because I’m not going to do that, even though I physically feel the temptation.
    • I had two dreams last night. The first was about a man in a director-level importance coming and going from his office. He had trouble with his feet, and it was painful for him to walk. He wore large, warm boots similar to mukluks but comically large. He shuffled while wearing them. When it came time for an important meeting, he switched to a different, more normal boots and walked normally despite being in pain. Then he returned to the large boots. I was watching him from a mall bench outside his office the entire time. The second was about me and my coworker sitting in a room similar to a large, tiered lecture hall. Our boss would bring us comically tall stacks of paper and told us to sort it. The papers were large packets of information on various things, and most of it was basically meaningless. We pointed this out, and my boss shrugged and said "I know" and gave a sympathetic half-smile. There was no way to sort it in a way that mattered. Eating strong cheese before bed is a fun experience. I highly recommend experiencing cheese dreams at least once in your life.
    • It's Tuesday and I'm thinking it's time to get things done.  I just decided to start all over again from scratch. 1. Handle Truck Situation 2. Handle Appointment 3. Handle Yardwork 4. Prepare for Wednesday
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.