"Maturity"

[Destroit]

This came up from a comment on FB from a former DGNer stating that CC and DGN have gotten too immature and that is why they no longer come back. I pointed out the fact that we probably have LESS DGN drama than ever before...so why the perception?

What is so "immature" about certain things and so "mature" about others? Do we actually mature or do we just accept it as a societal inevitability? Do we need to? Why is it that as we age, we perceive things we used to do as "immature" because we don't like "how things are run nowadays" when it's the SAME system that's always been in place? Is it simply perception, or something else?

For instance, people grow out of goth because they find it to be immature...WHY? Why is doing something you love "immature"? Do people even believe what they say or do they think it's immature because others have told them it is? It's delving into a certain style that you love with music and culture to accompany it...only to "grow out" of it into..what? And is believing you have to grow out of something like goth JUST as immature as you're claiming to not be (i.e. you're basically conforming to the crowd, which was the "immature" thing that we all did back in junior high and high school)?

Edited July 5, 2011 by Chernobyl

[phee]

Usually when someone declares something as turning "too immature" its the thing that changed... its the person making the claim.

I have seen this a lot... when people claim that they "grew out of" the music they liked or "it just got too silly"... NO... you changed and changed your mind... that's what happened.

[Destroit]

Usually when someone declares something as turning "too immature" its the thing that changed... its the person making the claim.

I have seen this a lot... when people claim that they "grew out of" the music they liked or "it just got too silly"... NO... you changed and changed your mind... that's what happened.

EXACTLY! It means THEY'RE "immature" by not realizing that everyone in the world doesn't need to change to their standards. Good riddance then .

Edited July 5, 2011 by Chernobyl

[Eevee]

I have seen this a lot... when people claim that they "grew out of" the music they liked or "it just got too silly"... NO... you changed and changed your mind... that's what happened.

I totally agree with this.

People are constantly changing and even I am guilty of calling music I used to be into as immature now that my tastes have changed.

I also agree with DGNs lack of immaturity. There haven't been any arguments lately (although the board has been a bit inactive). Its still been pretty damn calm.

[Nienna]

For me, I was avoiding the board because there was a lot of petty drama and I try to be free of that stuff. It does seem much better now though so hopefully I'll be back more often, because I miss the board! CC.... well... I have alot of reasons. I miss dancing to the music I loved with my friends. My friends don;t go out as much anymore, and the music that is getting alot of play is unappealing to me. (No, I don;t want this to turn into a music discussion, as I've already been down that road and no one really cares what I think about that.) CC has just lost it's magic. I used to go and feel like I was home. I'd smile until my face hurt and crash home at 5 AM, exhausted and happy. Now, after about an hour of the club, wandering between the dance floor, but not wanting to dance and the front, and seeing one or two faces I was to talk to.... It's not worth the eyeliner anymore. Maybe I need to meet more people or something, but it's not fun anymore.

[bean]

Right now DGN is probably the most mature it's even been since I joined in 2005. There was so much drama before that was definitely immature. Thankfully that is gone.

CC.... well... I have alot of reasons. I miss dancing to the music I loved with my friends. My friends don;t go out as much anymore, and the music that is getting alot of play is unappealing to me. (No, I don;t want this to turn into a music discussion, as I've already been down that road and no one really cares what I think about that.) CC has just lost it's magic. I used to go and feel like I was home. I'd smile until my face hurt and crash home at 5 AM, exhausted and happy. Now, after about an hour of the club, wandering between the dance floor, but not wanting to dance and the front, and seeing one or two faces I was to talk to.... It's not worth the eyeliner anymore. Maybe I need to meet more people or something, but it's not fun anymore.

+1000

[Enishi]

Although I'm no longer as interested in CC or DGN now as I used to be, I don't understand why anyone would think DGN has gotten immature. Like others have mentioned, there are far LESS petty arguments here nowadays.

[Nienna]

I'm seeing that. I like the new look too. Maybe I'll be back!

Right now DGN is probably the most mature it's even been since I joined in 2005. There was so much drama before that was definitely immature. Thankfully that is gone.

+1000

[taysteewonderbunny]

I'm seeing that. I like the new look too. Maybe I'll be back!

I hope so! I've missed you.

[phee]

It's nice to see folks back

Yeah... some of the people who never had any respect for others feelings are no longer on the board (either by their own choice or otherwise).

[Troy Spiral (13)]

Right now DGN is probably the most mature it's even been since I joined in 2005. There was so much drama before that was definitely immature. Thankfully that is gone.

+1000

Its a bit odd to hear the place described as immature but I know things ebb and flow, and around here hopefully for the better. We have been trying, but its a never ending juggling act. Some people will be immature at times, no matter what you do.

In comparison to "real life" ? Sure. People are more free online, but in comparison to other open discussion forums? Maybe its a matter of perspective , having been on a TON of "discussion communities" (Facebook is a bad example as its not an apples to oranges thing there) the whole bent of DGN is to keep the drama to a minimum (even though its an impossible task) and I'd be hard pressed to find a more mature one unless maybe its got some sort of dollar-entry-fee associated with it (easy to keep people in line if they have to invest money to be part of something, and actually have a vested interest in not pissing people off)

But yeah thinks have improved: Although my stress level is up 10X trying to juggle various things that are opposing forces. Generally the "play nice" rules have an adversarial relationship with the "stay active/ grow" that is necessarily part of keeping DGN alive. Many of us can do both, for whatever reason, some people just wont post (or don't tend to post) unless there is something at least mildly controversial to respond to (still ok at that point) but then, someone will say something that sets someone off.... then its off to the races.

Have to sort of balance trying to keep things civil/friendly with keeping things "open" (and not overly strict against unpopular speech) hard juggling act, which , very often causes people to dislike the moderators if they disagree with were that balance should be. Plus there is just the general way that people get the wrong impression about something/someone and don't bother to try and repair that relationship, which can then snowball.

Its tough because there is a never-ending debate about what is too 'strict' and what is 'not strict enough' and every case is different.

Luckily we've been around long enough that we have a fairly large base of people that "get it" even if they don't really want to hold their otherwise abrasive responses to a minimum, but do so anyway realizing that its better in the long run.

One thing that helps big time is when people (the general DGN population) see others being douche bags REPORT it or respond not-in-kind but with some sort of "calm down" type response, most of the really big douche bags tend to weed themselves out , even without mod intervention when they see no one is taking the bait.

Add to that the average age of DGNers has slowly risen (even though we still have ages all over the place).

Regardless there WILL be drama flare ups in any group larger than 1 person, we just have to try and not throw the baby out with the bathwater.

[Joey Deadcat]

I miss Emily.

[Slogo]

Immature?!?!?

I've been here for 3 years and this is probably among the most mature group of people I've ever known. Are there points where we (everyone) acts childish? Yes, but it's not about mature or immature, it's about knowing when to be one or the other.

[Nienna]

I miss you too!

I hope so! I've missed you.

[Troy Spiral (13)]

Its sort of like the proverbial blind men describing an elephant, depending on perspective, one person could have a totally different impression. To really get a full understanding of a thing it takes a pretty deep vetting. Which, probably less than 1% of everyone that's ever been on the board could really say with any expertise, its just to hard to do a "census" of that sort, with any real accuracy. Even then its a perpetually morphing thing.

Plus then there's the aeons old "it was better in the old days" that has been being said every 3 weeks for 10 years. I remember someone saying that before the board was a month old. haha

One key change is the cocoon of FB that some people are in were everyone agrees with everything they say or they get "unfriended" which is a fairly unrealistic expectation from a forum. A forum of any sort is going to be different than that and even though we try to keep it civil, its not as insulated from dissenting opinions as say FB is. Its a balancing act.

Semi-open forums have been a hard balancing act since ancient Greece, I'm guessing that trend will continue.

[Class-Punk]

I skipped over this thread when it was made because I couldn't think of a mature answer.

[Troy Spiral (13)]

This came up from a comment on FB from a former DGNer stating that CC and DGN have gotten too immature and that is why they no longer come back. I pointed out the fact that we probably have LESS DGN drama than ever before...so why the perception?

I skipped over this thread when it was made because I couldn't think of a mature answer.

My problem is that its not something that can be shortened down to a one liner, and I get the impression my 3 page novels get somewhere between 0 and 1 readers. "oh god , not another novella /ignore troy"

[Nymada del Sol]

People tend to mistake fun and enjoyment for immaturity. And boredom and dullness as maturity.

[Illuminatrix]

People tend to mistake fun and enjoyment for immaturity. And boredom and dullness as maturity.

Basically my thoughts on the matter also.

[Troy Spiral (13)]

People tend to mistake fun and enjoyment for immaturity. And boredom and dullness as maturity.

Basically my thoughts on the matter also.

Honestly in terms of DGN whoever thinks DGN is "not mature enough" maybe one of three things:

1. Hitting the crack rock too hard.

2. Has such a high standard for what they call "mature" that there is almost nowhere they can publicly engage.

3. They read a few (or even just one) post that rubbed them the wrong way, threw a temper tantrum over it, throwing the baby (the whole community) out with the bathwater.

[Illuminatrix]

Honestly in terms of DGN whoever thinks DGN is "not mature enough" maybe one of three things:

1. Hitting the crack rock too hard.

2. Has such a high standard for what they call "mature" that there is almost nowhere they can publicly engage.

3. They read a few (or even just one) post that rubbed them the wrong way, threw a temper tantrum over it, throwing the baby (the whole community) out with the bathwater.

I'm thinking snorting crack would explain why their noises are so high up in the air. They're simply gasping for breath!

But in all seriousness, to each their own. They can either ignore the board or choose to make themselves consistently miserable. :roll:

[Troy Spiral (13)]

I'm thinking snorting crack would explain why their noises are so high up in the air. They're simply gasping for breath!

But in all seriousness, to each their own. They can either ignore the board or choose to make themselves consistently miserable. :roll: