Moritorium on Adoption of Russian Children by US Citizens

[StormKnight (1)]

I'll admit having a rough life as a child, could have died before 8 years old a couple of times. But this, as an adopted child myself, really honks me off.

Article in Daily Mail here.

There are very few things that get me from my mild-mannered norm to top-of-the-belltower-with-automatic-weapon-postal-smearing/smashing-heads-into-brick-walls kind of angry. Child abuse/abandonment (which this definitely seems like to me,) is one of them.

[Brenda Starrr]

I just saw this on the news. It reminded me of WHY I hate watching the news. I need to find that bitch, slap the snot out of her, and hug that little boy.

[candyman]

At least my parents treated me well when they adopted me. This is really shitty...but I wonder how many of the stories have been twisted by a country that hates out ass? Not trying to take this realness away from this story...but I still wonder. I also wonder what the treatment of children that stay in Russia is...they don't have very good numbers at any age for abuse and life expectancy to begin with.

Adoption worked for me an many others I know...but I also know people that didn't fare well at all...

[KatRN05]

Yeah, this really pisses me off. I don't want to be too judgmental but I feel like that mom just threw away the kid all over again. Did she not take him to a therapist? I just want to know how she thought it was acceptable to do what she did.

[StormKnight (1)]

My thought is the kid was having difficulty because he he doesn't speak English. Adoptive mom could have construed it as misbehavior or a developmental problem, and thought it was the fault of the agency that didn't inform her. Nowhere in either report was it made clear whether the kid had English skills.

[Msterbeau]

I can understand her having second thoughts if the kid had mental impairments far beyond what the agency said, but that's no excuse for how she got rid of him and that she didn't seem to make an effort to work with therapists and others to try and help him. I'm sure we'll learn more as the days go by that clarify things on her end.

[taysteewonderbunny]

The boy was speaking English (and understood English) very well in the video.

It IS possible that he had a major emotional disorder generally attributive to a lack of interaction or abusive interaction in his infant and toddler years. Many of those disorders are NOT reversible.

Or it is possible that he had some physical ailment such as a digestive disorder or neurological defect.

Even if that is the case, though, and even in the case that the orphanage knew about the disorders and misled her, at most, she should only have expected some financial assistance then for his future care.

He is a human being! There are no returns on children! They are not goods to be bartered, warrantied, and returned! Adoption is supposed to be as permanent as birthright. That is the point of it. That a child without a home finds one FOREVER.

What if this was her biological child? Does she think that if she had her own baby and it had severe impairments she could just give it back?

I don't care what her excuse is; that woman is a bitch and doesn't deserve to have any children in her care ever.

[DJ Nocker]

Im not saying its the best way she could have done it, but it for sure isnt the worst... I dunno the whole story, nor does anyone else, im sure. But I think people might be being a little harsh on the woman. She may have had legitimate reasons. Although with how old the child was, that sucks. The airport should be targeted for letting that happen.

EDIT:

When I say she may have had legit reasons, I meant for no longer wanting the child, not for doing it in the way she did, im still confused on how that actually was allowed to happen.

Edited April 10, 2010 by DJ Nocker

[TitsMcGee]

From an article I read, the boy has threatened on multiple occasions to burn the house down with the family inside. The woman wasn't told about the boys mental issues when she adopted him, and if she knew the extent of his issues I doubt she would have adopted him in the first place.

[taysteewonderbunny]

^ I understand what you are saying, but this is a boy, not a car or a house or any other large investment. I think she might have been within her rights to sue for assistance in obtaining psychological care. She may even have been right to have him institutionalized.

Perhaps she was naive in her pursuit of the adoption and did not know how to verify his psychological condition. Perhaps she did know and the orphanage blatantly misled her. Still, there are many channels she ought to have pursued. Sending him back isn't one of them.

Humans don't come with quality guarantees.

Once you make the promise (in pregnancy, it's implicit, but in adoptions, explicit), there are no takebacks or second chances.

Well, sadly, in adoptions, there are legal precedents for it. Sending the kid unattended on an international flight isn't one such.

[DJ Nocker]

Well I for one, dont believe counseling works, so that makes alot of the argument invalid for me. TO each there own though. Its a bad situation, but I have a feeling alot has been left out of the papers.

[taysteewonderbunny]

Well I for one, dont believe counseling works, so that makes alot of the argument invalid for me. TO each there own though. Its a bad situation, but I have a feeling alot has been left out of the papers.

If the boy had an oppositional disorder, counseling wouldn't work. The psychological damage in those cases is often permanent. Look, I am not arguing that the woman had a right to a well boy. I am saying that as a human being, the boy has a right not to be treated as a commodity.

[KatRN05]

I agree with Calix. You don't just throw some kid away because you don't know what do to with them. Adopting means forever. I am trying to cut the mom slack but really I can't give her so much. If this kid was displaying signs of a personality disorder, she should have taken him to the doctor and been referred to a psychologist so the problems were dealt with. It just seems like that wasn't done and it wasn't mentioned in any of the articles I read. I think for the most part a lot of these kids that are adopted from Russia specifically have some sort of disorder. I think there are so many orphans there they don't get the individual attention that every kid should get.

[Guest Megalicious]

Humans don't come with quality guarantees.

Exactly.

And furthermore, they shouldn't be treated like the vacuum you just bought from Macy's that you can fucking return. This is a child we are talking about. A child this woman made a comment to raise, love, cherish, and protect- thats what being a parent IS.

Now what is really sad is all those American couples that would have handled this much differently, pursued mental health services for their child, offered a safe, loving home regardless of mental health status of a child they wished to adopt, are now fucked. :(

[KatRN05]

Exactly.

And furthermore, they shouldn't be treated like the vacuum you just bought from Macy's that you can fucking return. This is a child we are talking about. A child this woman made a comment to raise, love, cherish, and protect- thats what being a parent IS.

Now what is really sad is all those American couples that would have handled this much differently, pursued mental health services for their child, offered a safe, loving home regardless of mental health status of a child they wished to adopt, are now fucked. :(

Ironically, this woman is a nurse from what I read.

[Guest Megalicious]

Ironically, this woman is a nurse from what I read.

Thats even scarier.

But you know what some really BAD nurses are like out there on the floor - it's not surprising.

[Simon Bar Sinister]

is it that much easier to adopt a Russian (or any foreign) child than an American one?

[KatRN05]

Thats even scarier.

But you know what some really BAD nurses are like out there on the floor - it's not surprising.

True true.

[TygerLili]

I don't agree with her just sending him back, nor do I under stand how they got him past airport security and customs. If she was having major problems with him, she could have contacted social services in her area for help or advice on what to do.

[candyman]

is it that much easier to adopt a Russian (or any foreign) child than an American one?

Yes. For one thing it says something about the country that they are coming from, for another it says something about some of the parents that are adopting...if you want a child to love then it is no problems spending the money, passing the tests, and waiting for a while to get a child.

[freydis]

SHAME ON RUSSIA.

In the past, theyve failed to work out safeguards and laws for international adoption.

Because of this, they finally will...and theyre using this incident to make it look like theyre the good guys?

They've also shut down the place this kid was adopted from, while its being investigated. May as well do it country wide, with the horror stories that continually come out of orphanages all over Russia.

If the woman believes the child's problems are beyond what she can manage, its more responsible to give him back. He needs professional care, and perhaps being a single mom, she could not invest the extreme amounts of time and money it would take to successfully overcome what could have been anything from Reactive Attachment Disorder to honest to goodness psychosis.

Very shitty way to do it, but we don't know how Russia may have treated requests to return the child properly.

The woman was in a very, very hard situation.

Besides, we should all know by now that the Daily Fail (as many call that particular publication) doesnt report things in any sort of unbiased or respectable fashion.

Edited April 12, 2010 by freydis

[TitsMcGee]

is it that much easier to adopt a Russian (or any foreign) child than an American one?

Sadly yes it is, it is also cheaper in the long run to adopt from a foreign country.

[freydis]

Nancy Hansen, the Tennessee woman who put Justin Hansen on the plane in Washington, insisted she did not abandon the child, but was following instructions from a lawyer she found online.

Another article.

"I still have energy and I love children," Hansen said. "It wasn't that he was just energetic and wearing us down. It was the violent tendencies and he had to be watched at all time."

When her daughter, Torry Hansen, adopted the boy from a Russian orphanage last year, she asked the doctor there if he had any physical or mental problems, Nancy Hansen said.

The doctor answered "'He's healthy,' and turned and left," she said.

Once the child learned enough English, he told his new family about the horrors of his previous life, including being beaten at the orphanage after his mother abandoned him, she said.

He also told of an incident in which he burned down a building near the orphanage, she said.

Russian Children's Rights Commissioner Pavel Astakhov said the child was "completely healthy, physically and mentally" before the adoption.

"Nobody withheld anything from her [Torry Hansen]," he said. "It's a lie."

The final incident that convinced Hansen she should send the boy back to Russia was when she caught him starting a fire with papers in his bedroom last Monday, she said. She feared the child might burn down the house and kill her family, she said.

Edited April 12, 2010 by freydis

[freydis]

is it that much easier to adopt a Russian (or any foreign) child than an American one?

For American adoption, one has to jump through hoops, and it costs a LOT of money.

Likely, since she is a single mother, she would not have been granted an American adoption.

[MyViolentMachine]

I think the biggest issue with this entire situation is in the way she "discarded" the child at the airport and just shipped him off. If it is correct that she consulted legally and that was the advise she was given I would likely have saught multiple opinions.

A lot of my opinion on this will still rest in the facts I do not yet know (I haven't read up too much more than the few minutes news brief I watched). But I don't think I could totally fault a person for not wanting to deal with very damaged a person as this boy really is. Especially if they tried to find a way to help the boy.