Caught In Between Choices

[darknight1]

So recently I gained an admirer...one from Washington D.C., but still an admirer nonetheless. This person is pushing me to give up on everything I'm doing here in Michigan, abandon my family, friends, and everything else I know for something completely different. Most of this is within a D/s context...they are offering employment in their out-of-home business (they're a consultant for many major advertising firms that work within liberal politics) as an assistant, but damn it...I'm tempted to go for the sole reason of the job, but this person also says I'd more or less be under their control. I realize that there does exist this aspect within BDSM - D/s, but still...what do I do here? If I turn this person down, I know it'll create some extremely negative feelings...on the other hand, if I accept it and go...and it doesn't work out...then what? What would you guys do?

[creatureofthenyte]

Make sure this person and this opportunity they are offering is totally legit first.

This would be a giant leap of faith to take.

It sounds too risky to me.

[candyman]

I don't know how you are settled now as far as a job or how you deal with BDSM but during these times there are very few of us that can pick and choose what we want. Personally, you can do whatever you want with me as long as I get the job...so unless your current situation provides better results as far as a job/pay goes I would lean more towards taking the offer. There could be a risk in it not working so that has to be looked at too...but you don't always get anywhere if no risk is taken.

[darknight1]

My thoughts as well. It's just a little hard being confronted with something like this.

[Oh_My_Goth]

Go on a trip to meet this person.. In a public place... They could be a total creeper & want to kill you or something.

Get a criminal background check on this person before you give up your life to be with them. You have to be very careful about stuff like this.

[darknight1]

I'm going to side with reason and just say no. This person is asking way too much.

[Rev.Reverence]

Go on a trip to meet this person.. In a public place... They could be a total creeper & want to kill you or something.

Get a criminal background check on this person before you give up your life to be with them. You have to be very careful about stuff like this.

.....but, if I were in your position (is it safe to presume you are sub, darknight1?) I could not see the logic in abandoning this situation without checking it all out first...you know what I mean?

[darknight1]

I do know what you mean, Rev. And I am a sub. I just wonder why I even bother with D/s (and interestingly enough I'm actually bi...the person in question is a male Dominant...I often ask myself if I'd be better off just being straight).

[Rev.Reverence]

...there in lies the predicament...

I seriously reiterate: What Oh_My_Goth said.

Further...if you do not investigate this situation (to some degree).....you will always doubt yourself.

Tell them you wish to meet, & run a check on them...if it he not serious, you will probably not even hear from this person again.

[Guest Megalicious]

Make sure this person and this opportunity they are offering is totally legit first.

This is of the most importance.

Listen to your instincts. Does it feel right?

I would say go for it. Thats just me though. I have had a few opportunities along the same lines, I have always followed my adventurous side and went with them - I have NEVER, ONCE regretted it.

[pomba gira]

I second the advice from Creature and OMG. Could be a great opportunity if you're OK with being collared to this person... but I would definitely check them out VERY thoroughly first, and not make a permanent move without meeting them at least once.

[Homicidalheathen]

I wouldn't do it. But thats me.

[darknight1]

I decided not to. My ties to various friends and family (however strained my ties are to my family at this time) are too deep. And those ties I suspect are really starting to grow. I couldn't do it. That plus I don't really have much as far as money goes...I have been going through a hard time here financially (though I can still afford to go out and do stuff maybe twice a month)...only time will tell if I made the right choice though. I'm happy with my decision now though.

[EAF (1)]

Most people who ask you to give up all and offer no comprimise in return of any kind...even for D/s can kill a relationship. You don't want to find yourself stuck there with no way out...if they're legit and seriouse about their admiration then they may try again or a different way to get you to agree. Besides if it's online always do a check to see if they're real, not to mention a check on the company itself. You don't have to go to DC to find someone to admire you. But if you feel more than admiration is there...and you have found they are legit...then that is another story entirley.

In general given this information...I believe you made the right choice.