What do you miss?

[Scary Guy]

1 hour ago, et-novum said:

Scary guy, I didn't even have to mention it by name for you to pick up on that, huh? ^_^,

 

I'm not diagnosed nor even sure that's what I have, but it's the best clue I have. That, and also anxiety. It's been really beating my ass and affecting my life worse and worse. It's time for me to finally figure out what's up so I can just...stop feeling like I'm missing my own life.

It's honestly kind of hard not to with all the hints you threw out, and considering you went to Mi-Tech you may also have autism.

I'd make a great detective except the things I actually try to notice I fail at.

I'd make a great therapist if I were in Canada because I'm usually that depressing.

[et-novum]

6 minutes ago, Scary Guy said:

considering you went to Mi-Tech you may also have autism

This feels like a generalization that's not really correct. 😅 It's possible I have autism, but probably for other reasons. My sister does and probably my dad to a lesser extent.

 

But I've done some thinking and research about it and my experiences relate more to innattentive-type ADHD. That's where going to start and if a professional tells me no, I'll look into other things

 

We've derailed the thread a bit. But thank you

[Scary Guy]

18 minutes ago, et-novum said:

This feels like a generalization that's not really correct. 😅 It's possible I have autism, but probably for other reasons. My sister does and probably my dad to a lesser extent.

 

But I've done some thinking and research about it and my experiences relate more to innattentive-type ADHD. That's where going to start and if a professional tells me no, I'll look into other things

 

We've derailed the thread a bit. But thank you

>Sister
>Dad

 

Also the two aren't mutually exclusive and actually seems to be incredibly common.  https://old.reddit.com/r/AutisticWithADHD/

But I never said I was certain, but let's be honest you may want to get tested.

Not that it's a bad diagnosis to have.  I was in '85 and actually have grown to love who I am (though the ADHD remains undiagnosed.) I mean I hate some aspects about it but I still wouldn't give it up for the world (however the ADHD can fuck right off though.)

[et-novum]

3 minutes ago, Scary Guy said:

>Sister
>Dad

 

yeah, I see your point. I didn't mention my mom has ADHD (undiagnosed but it's obvious) and dyslexia. For whatever reason my family doesn't seek diagnoses except me. And I don't think I would have if it didn't start getting harder to manage with my coping mechanisms.

If I do also have autism (and I'm willing to bet it's possible) it's not in a way that's really noticeable or distressing. It would explain some of my tendencies - but so would ADHD. But the symptoms I've read about, the shared experiences I have with people who have diagnosed ADHD, and just the anguish it gives me when I simply can't sit still and focus on important things like my life, my work, and most importantly the people I love -- all that really bites me.

 

 

[et-novum]

Just now, et-novum said:

For whatever reason my family doesn't seek diagnoses except me

Oh and I forgot to add to this: I just scheduled an assessment this morning. The process won't start until August, but the ball is rolling.

[Scary Guy]

1 minute ago, et-novum said:

Oh and I forgot to add to this: I just scheduled an assessment this morning. The process won't start until August, but the ball is rolling.

Good, as it does open up some support avenues if you need them.

 

I think part of the problem is there is a stigma against people who are diagnosed, because part of society sees it as such.  Then they handwave it away "oh you don't seem that disabled" as if they're in any way at all qualified to make such an assessment.  To some it really is a disability while to others they manage just fine and it's just a different way of living.  Though they've done away with Asperger's in the DSM-V and just made it all under the Autism spectrum because people with mild symptoms were having trouble getting the help and resources that they needed.

I will admit at one point feeling a bit of needless shame over it when I was young, but luckily I grew out of it.  Part of what helped is I realized two things.  One was I didn't have to let it define me even though it is a large part of who I am, and two was it's like coming out as Atheist or gay where you don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to (and HIPAA might actually prevent a lot of corporations from doing that too.)

[et-novum]

13 minutes ago, Scary Guy said:

One was I didn't have to let it define me

Not speaking about autism (again, I don't think I'm autistic but I recognize the possibility) but this is also one of the reasons I think seeking an assessment for ADHD has escaped me. It's not me and I try not to let it rule my life. But it is doing that anyway 😅 which is why I need to make some kind of change. I am bisexual and I have some of my own hangups about gender to get through, but those don't feel like they rule my life in way ADHD does. But I also feel really self conscious about being one of many who are seeking diagnoses. This is a bad thought, but it almost seems like a fad? But at the same time, wow I it gives me (and definitely others) a lot of struggles.
 

[Scary Guy]

1 hour ago, et-novum said:

Not speaking about autism (again, I don't think I'm autistic but I recognize the possibility) but this is also one of the reasons I think seeking an assessment for ADHD has escaped me. It's not me and I try not to let it rule my life. But it is doing that anyway 😅 which is why I need to make some kind of change. I am bisexual and I have some of my own hangups about gender to get through, but those don't feel like they rule my life in way ADHD does. But I also feel really self conscious about being one of many who are seeking diagnoses. This is a bad thought, but it almost seems like a fad? But at the same time, wow I it gives me (and definitely others) a lot of struggles.
 

There are a lot of things that appear to be fads going on and they've been going on for quite some time now.  I think this is due to many reasons though rather than it just being the "in" thing right now (not that that may not be a part of it as well.) It is certainly more common these days for ASD to be diagnosed and there are a few hypothesis for it (and the only ones that really hold any water are the ones about environmental effects.  The vaccine thing was always complete bunk stemming from one discredited study.)

Gender dysphoria and things of that nature are a topic I'm not going to comment on, other than it's a really hard road for them to be on.  I wish we had some trans people active on here who could speak on it.  However when I talked years ago with @RowanInBlack who is FtM he said that trans people usually couldn't even agree amongst themselves, which tracks because the issues are that complicated.

Oh yeah, also I apologize if I ever misgender or deadname anyone.  I'm not trying to be rude, I just have ADHD and will forget.

The other thing is that both are more acceptable to have / be these days, so people are less afraid of getting diagnosed / treated for them.  There are still some parents who don't understand and "THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH MY CHILD HOW DARE YOU INSINUATE SUCH A THING!" keeping their head in the sand as if everything is fine and smacking the kid (or worse) when it actually isn't.

But we've gone so far off topic now that I'm beginning to miss when we were actually on topic.

Edited July 17, 2023 by Scary Guy

[Queen of Foxes]

Believing in love... 

[n0Mad]

21 minutes ago, Queen of Foxes said:

Believing in love... 

 

Do you believe in life after love?

[Queen of Foxes]

9 minutes ago, n0Mad said:

 

Do you believe in life after love?

Yeah. A new one. A better one..  

[Msterbeau]

On 7/17/2023 at 10:35 AM, Scary Guy said:

There are a lot of things that appear to be fads going on and they've been going on for quite some time now.  I think this is due to many reasons though rather than it just being the "in" thing right now (not that that may not be a part of it as well.) It is certainly more common these days for ASD to be diagnosed and there are a few hypothesis for it (and the only ones that really hold any water are the ones about environmental effects.  The vaccine thing was always complete bunk stemming from one discredited study.)

Gender dysphoria and things of that nature are a topic I'm not going to comment on, other than it's a really hard road for them to be on.  I wish we had some trans people active on here who could speak on it.  However when I talked years ago with @RowanInBlack who is FtM he said that trans people usually couldn't even agree amongst themselves, which tracks because the issues are that complicated.

Oh yeah, also I apologize if I ever misgender or deadname anyone.  I'm not trying to be rude, I just have ADHD and will forget.

The other thing is that both are more acceptable to have / be these days, so people are less afraid of getting diagnosed / treated for them.  There are still some parents who don't understand and "THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH MY CHILD HOW DARE YOU INSINUATE SUCH A THING!" keeping their head in the sand as if everything is fine and smacking the kid (or worse) when it actually isn't.

But we've gone so far off topic now that I'm beginning to miss when we were actually on topic.

 

Please, sir.  What is a topic?  

[n0Mad]

36 minutes ago, Msterbeau said:

 

Please, sir.  What is a topic?  

 

A latitude close to the equator?

[Scary Guy]

2 hours ago, Msterbeau said:

Please, sir.  What is a topic?  

1 hour ago, n0Mad said:

A latitude close to the equator?

 

No no that is a tropic.

 

A topic is what we should be focused on.  Specifically from the netiquette RFC section 3.1.1 General Guidelines for mailing lists and NetNews

" - Messages and articles should be brief and to the point. Don't wander off-topic, don't ramble and don't send mail or post messages solely to point out other people's errors in typing or spelling. These, more than any other behavior, mark you as an immature beginner."

 

I don't miss when people were so strict about that.  My last comment was more of a joke about going so far off topic that I was starting to miss it.  But if I have to explain the joke it stops being funny, so thanks you killjoy. :P

[n0Mad]

11 minutes ago, Scary Guy said:

No no that is a tropic.

 

I thought that was the use of figurative language, via word, phrase or an image, for artistic effect such as using a figure of speech.

[Scary Guy]

12 minutes ago, n0Mad said:

 

I thought that was the use of figurative language, via word, phrase or an image, for artistic effect such as using a figure of speech.

 

That's just a trope (like this run-on gag.)

 

Specifically this one

Edited August 7, 2023 by Scary Guy

[Destroit]

I miss being skinnyyyyyy and feeling attractive 

[Scary Guy]

32 minutes ago, Destroit said:

I miss being skinnyyyyyy and feeling attractive 

 

Well now you're fat and attractive so deal with it, and just own it.  At least you're also tall so that helps.

 

We don't stay perfect forever and time fucks us all.  It could be worse though, you could be skinny from some eating disorder, or cancer.

 

Here have this, it's "fun":

 

[Trene4000]

Traveling to someplace other than doctor and medical appointments.  

[Destroit]

On 8/7/2023 at 9:39 AM, Scary Guy said:

 

Well now you're fat and attractive so deal with it, and just own it.  At least you're also tall so that helps.

 

We don't stay perfect forever and time fucks us all.  It could be worse though, you could be skinny from some eating disorder, or cancer.

 

Here have this, it's "fun":

 

I don't wannaaaaaa 

[Scary Guy]

1 minute ago, Destroit said:

I don't wannaaaaaa 

 

Well then work out and turn it into muscle so you can at least beat the ass of anyone that calls you fat :P

 

But seriously I don't want to get old.  Unfortunately I get very little choice in the matter, and both options of "continue to get older" or "don't continue to get older" kind of suck.

[jynxxxedangel]

I miss Metro Detroit-style Chinese takeaway. British Chinese food, is so de rigueur. 😞

[know_buddy_kares]

A lot of things, but today, I miss the feeling of life. I just don't have it anymore. Most days I'm used to it, but today I'm just nostalgic for who I recently was.

 

And Arby's loaded potato bites. I miss those too.

[TronRP]

I miss the nightlife.

I cut everything off so I could finish raising my niece and nephew, but now they are legal adults and doing their onw thing and I have reset back to my grade school years where I did only what was necessary.

This is so surreal.

[Trene4000]

I miss holidays at the Hudson Building downtown.