Disrespect For The Elderly.

[Troy Spiral (13)]

The next time see or are around elderly person, breath in, relax, and remember - they have been on this planet a long time, show some respect. They may be a war veteran, a great grandmother and/or who knows what life experiences they've had to put up with. If the guy ahead of me is driving a bit slow, and has gray hair, I've heard some sort of disparaging remark like 900 times...screw that.

This isn't some sort of bleeding heart issue, it just really is something i feel strongly about. Marginalizing and downgrading the status of the elderly, even if its just mentally/socially really urks me. They and the people before them built the world we live in and have put up with a lot more than most of us ever have had to, including having to put up with us. Senior citizens deserve respect, youth culture be damned.

[Rev.Reverence]

Absolutely second that emotion.

Also, if you plan to be old, one word..... KARMA!

[Steven]

thanks for this Troy. well done.

[Miranda]

I know exactly what you are feeling guys.. cannot agree with you more! We are going to be "old" someday and these idiots who disrespect the elderly will really feel it then. You shouldn't disrespect anyone, this type of behavior is counter-productive. I'm extremely down with any kind of hate.

[Fierce Critter]

I am massively "into" the elderly.

I get along so well with these people. MUCH MUCH MUCH better than I get along with children.

Jon works at the occasional nursing home, and sometimes when it's an overtime or emergency call, I go with him. I'll sit in the lobby reading while he works on the door. Inevitably, some resident will walk or wheel by in their wheelchair and strike up a conversation. I always look forward to this.

Once, we were at a home in Detroit. I was sitting on a bench, and an old black lady, probably in her 90's, stopped her wheelchair to talk to me. She started talking about how her mother worked in the white house during I believe it was Franklin Roosevelt's administration. I'm thinking, "yeah, sure grandma, dementia is at work here," though I'm ALWAYS very polite to these people. She wheeled away, and came back a few minutes later.

And damn if she didn't have a framed newspaper article about her mother, and how she baked in the white house for Roosevelt, and how he used to like fattening pastries he wasn't supposed to eat.

What a very, very cool experience.

My mother is 82. And my Dad is 81. They're both doing pretty good for their ages, but I'm afraid for my Dad. He had a quad bypass about 6 years ago. He's surprisingly fit for a man his age, and looks no older than his 60's. But he just told us he is hiring someone to mow his grass now, and I don't like to hear about his activity decreasing like this. It's scary to think about him slowing down too much.

At least both of them are totally "there" mentally. Both sharp as tacks and up on current events and trends.

If I have to go back into the workforce ever, I will definitely be seeking work in an elder care facility. I just dig the elderly so much.

[vampire]

in this chaotic world , money hungry and with no anchor of principal values, it surprises me not.

the elderly are but one group to suffer from today's life lived at supersonic speeds.

The lifestyle itself counsumes us from within.

Learn from a slow driver.

Learn from a soft spoken.

Learn from a old smile.

[Msterbeau]

I agree with you 99% Troy.

But some of them really don't belong behind the wheel of a car.

[Fierce Critter]

I agree with you 99% Troy.

But some of them really don't belong behind the wheel of a car.

OMFG - spoken for truth.

Really. The biggest thing I've worried about over the years with my dad is a possible decrease in his ability to drive safely.

I keep tabs on his driving a lot. Thusfar, I see absolutely no reason he shouldn't still be behind the wheel. My mother doesn't drive at all, thank goodness.

I agree that some people need to be taken off the road. But I feel so, so, so sorry for old people who can't drive anymore. I mean, what in fuck do people do if they don't have kids to help them out by running errands, or taking them places? Especially in a place like Michigan where public transportation is pathetically underdeveloped?

[creatureofthenyte]

I guess I am gonna play devil's advocate on this topic.

I don't see why someone should be shown more respect then someone else solely because the person is older.

I am going to be 33 in May.

Do I think that I deserve to be shown more respect then say, an 18 yr old just because I'm older then the 18 yr old ? No.

If a person does/says something worthy of showing more respect then ok.

I just don't see why old people, IF they are still fully capable people, mentally & physically, deserve any kind of special treatment just because of their age.

I also disagree with the whole senior citizen discount thing; so you've lived to be a certain age, big whoop!

why should a senior citizen get a discount on stuff and I don't ? That could be looked at as age discrimination.

Some could say, ohhh they're retired and on fixed incomes. What about young people who work part time or at minimum wage jobs ?

As far as disrespect for the elderly goes...

when I'm at work, I encounter old people on a daily basis. Some of them, are nice, some are just downright rude. Some have an overdeveloped sense of entitlement.

Some, when I'm standing there working, instead of saying exuse me, to let me know that they want to walk by me, just stand there and stare at me.

Some old people have made a 2nd career by becoming professional complainers.

I definitely believe that all states should have a law on the books that states an age of which a mandatory driver's retest must be taken, for their safety as well as everyone elses'.

I don't believe in disrespecting anyone, regardless of age, unless they have first said/done something worthy of disrespect, however I don't believe that age alone is enough qualification for me to respect one person more then another.

[Troy Spiral (13)]

I agree with you 99% Troy.

But some of them really don't belong behind the wheel of a car.

Its not "disrespect" to try and avoid harm to an elderly person or other people to try and limit hurt or some such to other people regardless of age. In a indirect sort of way its disrespect to not TRY and get them off the road in one way or another.

I'm with you , although its a separate subject. One that seems to always come up every time i try to point out respect for the elderly and sort of , lets say, dulls the real point. In a sense, this is one of the only reasons we even discuss the marginalized elderly, a sort of indirect disrespect in a sense. Oh we are talking about older people? Leme bitch about their driving.... is a common thing. People that do that are not, i don't think intentionally being disrespectful though.

It just takes away from the point and perpetuates an excuse for the disrespect in the less "enlightened" lets call it. The people (seems to be younger people in general, although I've not done a study) and this is a key thing that gets them rolling on their stereotype that seems to get worse in groups.

[Troy Spiral (13)]

I guess I am gonna play devil's advocate on this topic.

I don't see why someone should be shown more respect then someone else solely because the person is older.

I am going to be 33 in May.

Do I think that I deserve to be shown more respect then say, an 18 yr old just because I'm older then the 18 yr old ? No.

If a person does/says something worthy of showing more respect then ok.

I just don't see why old people, IF they are still fully capable people, mentally & physically, deserve any kind of special treatment just because of their age.

I also disagree with the whole senior citizen discount thing; so you've lived to be a certain age, big whoop!

why should a senior citizen get a discount on stuff and I don't ? That could be looked at as age discrimination.

Some could say, ohhh they're retired and on fixed incomes. What about young people who work part time or at minimum wage jobs ?

As far as disrespect for the elderly goes...

when I'm at work, I encounter old people on a daily basis. Some of them, are nice, some are just downright rude. Some have an overdeveloped sense of entitlement.

Some, when I'm standing there working, instead of saying exuse me, to let me know that they want to walk by me, just stand there and stare at me.

Some old people have made a 2nd career by becoming professional complainers.

I definitely believe that all states should have a law on the books that states an age of which a mandatory driver's retest must be taken, for their safety as well as everyone elses'.

I don't believe in disrespecting anyone, regardless of age, unless they have first said/done something worthy of disrespect, however I don't believe that age alone is enough qualification for me to respect one person more then another.

I didn't necessarily mean more respect as in, more respect for a particular person that's 30 vs someone that's 50 per-se. But , you can generally without a study, assume an older generation has been through more and had to put up with more (and created the world we live in... for better or for worse) has gone through more than a younger generation has. It was more about the intentional , disrespect based on age. I its a similar type of bigotry to racism, just less obvious and not as well counteracted.

[Fierce Critter]

Addressing some of this bit by bit:

I just don't see why old people, IF they are still fully capable people, mentally & physically, deserve any kind of special treatment just because of their age.

Because people, just by nature of the human condition, need to be treated differently under certain circumstances. Babies need to be treated, well, like babies. They can't "do" for themselves, therefore, they deserve "special baby treatment."

Mentally handicapped people have their own special needs.

And the elderly also have special needs. People age differently, and yes, some may be well into their 90's and still have their total faculties still intact. They don't need as much special treatment as say an 80 year old who has alzheimers.

I also disagree with the whole senior citizen discount thing; so you've lived to be a certain age, big whoop!

why should a senior citizen get a discount on stuff and I don't ? That could be looked at as age discrimination.

Some could say, ohhh they're retired and on fixed incomes. What about young people who work part time or at minimum wage jobs ?

You, as well as young people who work part-time or minimum-wage jobs have the ability & option and possibility of doing something or learning something in order to obtain a higher-paid job or full-time employment. An old person on fixed income has nothing availble - unless they go back to work. They can't ask for a raise in their SS income. They can't ask for a higher pension rate. What they get is what they get. If gas prices go up 400% in 5 years, you'd better believe their income has no possibility of being raised to match that. Some do have "cost of living" raises annually. But not everyone. And it's generally paltry.

I know a lot of this because I have elderly parents, who are on fixed retirement incomes. My dad is doing o.k., but he has had to cut out travel and other "niceties" because of things like the higher cost of gas, he can't dine out as much as he could before because restaurants have raised their prices to deal with what they are paying for shipping, etc. Also, I have seen my grandparents, friends, relatives, aunts, uncles go from being healthy, high-functioning humans to reverting to "baby needs" due to what happens to their physiology.

I also did hospice volunteer work for a while. It's not pretty what happens to people at the eve of their life.

I will give you this, however. An attorney I worked for who was a dick did have something wise to say once. He said, "Why be nice to mean old people? Maybe they were mean young people."

I agree. If an older person is a bitch/dick, I'm not going to take it. I, however, don't have a problem with telling someone that they're out of line and need to check themselves. For the most part, the older people I've had to do this to then respect me more for it.

[sass_in_the_pants]

Before Guy's grandpa passed away we would go visit him at the nursing home every week, sometimes twice a week. Between us, his brothers, and his mom, he had plenty of visitors.

I would always bring the babies, and it was SO sweet, some nurse would walk in and say 'If you wouldn't mind, Helen in room 214 would really love to see the twins, and Ruby in 220 and Anne in 219. Would you mind?'

I mean, it was SO sweet - they would see my babies and tell me about their kids, and their grandkids, and try to give my babies licorice, which is weird, but still, it's nice.

I actually kind of miss taking the babies around to see the old people - I think the babies liked it as much as the old people!

And, speaking of old people and driving, OH MY GOD.

When we went to Florida last time and visited my grandparents, I was in the car with my grandpa and he had stopped at a red light, looked up and then just blew right threw it! And he was like 'Stupid lights. They take too long.' I mean, it's not like he screwed up - he was just sick of waiting for the light to change and so he just ran right through it. And I was like 'Jesus, grandpa! What are you doing?!?!' and he was like 'I don't have time to wait around' and I was like 'You're retired. We're going to Perkins for meatloaf. The ONLY thing you have is tiem to wait around!' Seriously, I was never so grateful to get out of a car in all my life.

[~Tszura~]

They and the people before them built the world we live in and have put up with a lot more than most of us ever have had to, including having to put up with us. Senior citizens deserve respect, youth culture be damned.

It’s about dignity, respect, and honoring our forefathers/mothers in any way we can.

They have put up with a lot of crap in their lives (and still do), and still lived through it. We need to learn from our elders, and take more than just a few pointers. Overall, they’ve known the pains of struggle, and value commitment. I’m not saying that none of us have known truly dark times, but we have so many more comforts in today’s society than 20+ years ago. We are a “fast food” thinking culture, and definitely need to change that. Hopefully we will all get a chance to grow old, and I’m sure we will all want the same respect, and dignity when its our turn.

And damn if she didn't have a framed newspaper article about her mother, and how she baked in the white house for Roosevelt, and how he used to like fattening pastries he wasn't supposed to eat.

LOL~ I love this!

And Fierce Critter, you and I are on the same wavelength : ) I agree with all of your answers. Certain people truly do have special needs. Young people have more opportunities to make money, and earn a living. Social Security sucks, and so does Medicare. By giving an elderly person a discount, this is making a difference, even if its just a small one. Without giving them these little things here and there, many elderly people couldn't afford to live on their own. Many already have to decide between eating, or paying for their heart medication.

And what's the alternative if they have no family to care for them? If they get a job, they run the risk of running their frail bodies further in the ground, which may take them to the hospital sooner, which just costs Medicare more money~our tax dollars at work. And if they have no family to take them in, they end up in a nursing home on Medicaid~our tax dollars at work. The government hasn't figured out yet (or maybe doesn't want to) that by improving community services to keep our elderly in the community safely, they will save more money than by doing the band-aid approach.

Learn from a old smile.

I like this :->

[Steven]

I didn't necessarily mean more respect as in, more respect for a particular person that's 30 vs someone that's 50 per-se. But , you can generally without a study, assume an older generation has been through more and had to put up with more (and created the world we live in... for better or for worse) has gone through more than a younger generation has. It was more about the intentional , disrespect based on age. I its a similar type of bigotry to racism, just less obvious and not as well counteracted.

I'm suprised that this needs to be explained further, and Im glad it did not segue into a straight "age for driving" bi product.

and Brian - yes I DO respect the opinions and experineces of a 30 year old more than I would an 18 year old.

That does not mean I DISrespect an 18 year old - it does however mean - that a 30 year old has over twice as much day to day life on planet accumulation to choose from.

Yes - some younger peeps have had tons of "experience" in many things, sometimes seemingly to a greater degree than some of their elders. However - those elders still have a much greater facility to reflect and choose from. speaking personally - I saw many things at a young age. But that never equipped me in terms of equality with say....a 30 year old. It just didint. now that I'm 40 something......I'm even more apt to recognize what i thought I knew versus what 40 somethings worth of day to day has shown me now. And the same concept applies to me, when i am in fact that "youthful" generation in the presece of my own elders. Sure we technically "know more" today in terms of cumulative data that is readily available than they did - but acculated data is not wisdom, and it is not on par with social skills, and it does not grant one a great deal of testable conviction.

Edited April 7, 2008 by Steven

[Pandora]

Without the elderly our history wouldn't have happened, and neither would our parents or Us happened.

Age is a privilege. Not all older people are worthy of respect, just as not all younger people are either, but general respect is always a good way to go.

[TygerLili]

I know what you're getting at, Troy, but I think there's a difference between showing respect and generally being couteous, and a lot of people confuse the two. I agree that I've seen younger people be discourteous to senior citizens just because of their age, and that upsets me.

Respect, on the other hand...you've got to earn my respect, whether you're 18 or 108.

I've worked for years in customer service, then in medicine. The elderly people I've worked with were usually either the sweetest and nicest people I dealt with all day, or the meanest and rudest. You make some allowances, especially in medicine, when you know someone isn't feeling well, but if someone is unforgivably rude to me then I will be just civil enough to them to complete my job tasks. I don't care how old or young that person is.

[Hellion]

Disrespecting/judging anyone because of age,and status is complete bullshit.

and yes the driving thing does scare me,my grandpa gave up his driving license on his own.other than that I get along with the older generation.

[~Tszura~]

One of the things I love most about our elders, is that sometimes they don’t give a flying fart what anyone thinks, and will tell you exactly what they think. Sometimes they have it right, sometimes they don’t. And sometimes they’re just being crotchety. Anyway once slices it, they’re our elders, and part of the respect they deserve, for me anyway, comes from honoring life towards the end of life.

Getting old sucks! Our elders put up with crap :0 like diarrhea, dentures, loss of sight, loss of hearing, constipation, dementia, prolapsed and deteriorating organs, incontinence, heart problems, etc etc…and sometimes all at once!. Anyone who can walk around with all that mess going on gets my respect no matter what……...unless I find out they were some perv child molester or something, and then they can just kiss my butt.

I agree with TygerLili in that if one of our elders is being completely rude or is raising hell, we don’t have to be rude in return. Just be as courteous as possible to provide what ever service is needed, and move on. Maybe the extra smile that day will have done them some good. Maybe they’re also thinking…“ I’ll show respect, when I’m given respect.” And since they were here first, I acquiesce.

[jadnifer]

I have respect for the elderly, but not any more than I would have for anyone else. However, people need to earn my respect, I don't just hand it over to them, no matter how old they happen to be. I feel that you have to give respect to get respect.

I used to volunteer at a nursing home and I absolutely loved listening to all the stories that they had to tell. They were so interesting. They were also so nice. I would go in there for a couple of hours a week and play bingo with them. They liked it SO much. They like when a younger person talks and hangs out with them. From psychology classes, they like it because it makes them feel young again.

Just remember, if you ever feel like you don't want to deal with an older person, think about everything that they have been through and all the wonderful stories that they could tell you about.

I wish that my great-great grandparents were still alive. I believe that they came over here from Germany, Poland, and Belgium. Imagine the kind of stories that they would be able to tell me about.

[Fin]

flying fart

As for my own take on the issue @ hand:

"Reach out in kindness, & you will find yourself touched in kind."

--Anonymous

Edited April 18, 2008 by Fin

[Steven]

it just now dawned on me that Heathen and myself and my secret lover Brenda are prolly the most elderly on this dang board.....show some respect you punk asses

Edited April 18, 2008 by Steven

[jadnifer]

it just now dawned on me that Heathen and myself and my secret lover Brenda are prolly the most elderly on this dang board.....show some respect you punk asses

Why don't you show some respect you old geezer?