LadyKay

Yesterday my daughter who is 10 came home of school and wanted to go out side. When I asked her where she wanted to go she said to the athletic field that is right behind our apartment complex. All the kids play there and there is a long track that you can walk or ride your bike around. It is gated and the gate is closed when it gets dark and there are cameras. So it is a safe place. This was 3:00pm so I set her alarm on her watch and told her to be back by 6:00. Well 6:00 came and she was not home. But I give her a few minuets because I know how kids are. So I waited till about 6:20 to go get her and tell her to come home. I walked over to the athletic field to find her. When I got there she was no where to be found! She was on her bike so I was looking for her bike but it too was no where to be found. So I started asking neighbors and no one had seen her! So off I went searching the neighborhood. She is no where to be seen! I then went back to the apartment hoping she had come home but nope! After talking to some more neighbors I got into my jeep and drove around to look for her. I could not find her anywhere! It was now 7pm and she had not been seen by anyway since 3pm! I went back home and called the cops not knowing what else to do. It was like she just vanished! By this time the whole neighborhood is out looking for her! My husband's uncle comes over and he picks me up in his truck to drive around to look for her. The cops come by at this point and ask me where it is they should look for her.( I don't know where they should look for her at. If I knew that I would go look myself!) I tell them she was suppose to go the athletic field but she is not there! She is on her bike! So they drive off to go look around. I really don't know what to tell them ! She was not allowed to go anywhere else. But you know how kids are. So we drove around asking people on the street if they had seen her and no one has. All of a sudden someone behind us in a car yells out! "I found here she is here! " We turn around and it is one of the neighbor ladies. She was driving around and found her about 4 blocks away on her bike! I called the cops back and told them we had found her. They were very happy that we did. Got her home, and she is telling me some story about how she wanted to go to her friend's house to see their kittens! She now grounded forever! No way am I going to let her back outside after all of that!

Karma for the lack of a better word. But I do think that they way you treat others will come back to you. And it is just funny that her reason for kicking us out was so she could go to Florida and now she can no longer go. Seems about right to me. I feel bad about posting this. I mean she is my mother and all and I still love her. But it is very very sad when family lets you down. Especially your mother. I understand her plains to go to Florida. But it was just the way she throw it in my face like she didn't care if I had a place to go to or not. She was up and leaving and I am on my own and it was like she didn't care. I think the right thing to do would have been for us to talk about it like adults. At less then even if she still went it would feel like she at less cares about me. After all of this it is hard for me to feel like I am loved. Okay I'm sorry I let way too many feels come out in this post. I will go back under my rock now and hide.

When I was forced to move back to my hometown in 2014, I had no other place to go except for my mother's house. My mother who had first told me she was willing to take me in changed her mind soon after. Every Nov. she goes to Florida with her guy friend who owns a trailer there. They stay in Florida all winter. While me and my daughter were staying with her my mother would go into these rants about how she can't wait to go to Florida and be away from us. With no regard for how this made me feel. She got made about everything. She got mad that I used the stove. She got mad cause I took a shower. She got mad caused I used the washer. She seldom cooks her own food and goes out to eat almost everyday. Since she would not cook for us or invite us out to eat. I had to cook for my daughter and me. This mean using her oven. She yelled and screamed that me using her oven was going to run up her electric bill. The whole situation was just bad and I never felt so unwanted so unloved in all my life. I mean this was my mother ! Anyway, after being there for 2 months, she refuse to let us stay there while she goes to Florida and kicks me and my daughter out of the house. Having no where else to go we end up with my mother in law and most of you know how that went. After my mother came home from Florida she did not bother to let me know that she was home. I found out by running into her at the drug store one day. By this time me and my daughter where moving to the apartment I am in now. So now the Kama part. When Nov came around my mother found out that she could not go back to Florida because her guy friend had sold his trailer! So she was stuck here all winter. I kind of laughed about it because she screamed and yelled at me about how she could not wait to go to Florida to be away from me and then she kicked me and my daughter out of the house to do so, that it just seem like Karma to find out that she can no longer go to Florida. I don't know. Maybe I am bad for finding it funny. But it is a little funny. Don't you think?

See I told you it was hot!

This one? The Valravn! I didn't ride that one. But my stepdaughter and her daughter did. They said it was great!

After six years of being unable to go. We got to go to Cedar Point ! I moved back to my hometown in Ohio which just happens to be 40 minutes away from Cedar Point! Which is the only cool thing about living here. Anyway we took my stepdaughter, and her daughter who has autism and my daughter who also has autism. So it was a wild time! There were a few meltdowns through out the day but we got through it alright. My daughter is now tall enough to ride the roller coasters so Yes! I finely have someone to ride the coasters with! And while we were waiting in line for the Raptor some guy got sick on the ride and my husband who was not ridding but waiting for us; said that people walking under the Raptor got sprayed with puke and were all crying and throwing up! They had to stop the ride for a few minuets to get things clean up. I saw the guy come off the ride. He wasn't looking so good. We had to ride the Mean Streak cause they are getting rid of it in Sept. So this is the last year for the Mean Streak. So the whole day was a blast even though now I am broke. But I think we needed to do this considering all the crap we have gone through these past few years.

I found out my estranged cousin died. There was no funeral and no obituary that I can find. He just died and was cremated simple as that. I was not close to him. In fact I hardly knew him. He had a history of being involved in selling drugs and not the kind of person I would want in my life. But it saddens me to think that he died and no one seems to care. I found his Facebook page and none of his Facebook friends have wrote anything on his page concerning his death. No RIPS, no You Will Be Missed, just nothing. It is has if his life had no meaning. While I can understand being unable to afford a funeral. It seems like some kind of memorial service could had been done. But it seems they just took his body and cremated it and that was that. Like I said I did not really know him. What kind of person he was and if he was still into drugs or trying to make things right. Still it is sad to think that he was just forgotten.

Yes! I am going to complain about the heat! When is it going to end! I am sweating through my bra ! I don't even what to wear a bra cause all I do is sweat! I'm dying here and I think I am also melting.

It is just that when people tell me they are going to stop by, i expect them to do it. It kind of "puts me out" sort of to say when I wait around the house all day thinking they are coming and they don't show up. Nor do they call and explain why. It just makes me feel like I really wasn't that important to them in the first place. Then when I complain about not having friends, people tell me it is my fault for not making an effort. So anyway back to my first post. Do you think I should have message her and asked her what happen? I just felt that she should message me. But I don't know how these social rules work.

" Stranger Things " on Netflix. Monsters, Dungeons & Dragons, Government Cover up, and 80's music. What could be better then that?

So....I moved back to my hometown. I found a childhood friend on FB and found out that she also has moved back to a town about 30minuts from me. Since I am always being accused of not making an effort when it comes to trying to make friends; I decided to take a step. I sent her a message saying something like "hey we should get together sometime." She reply telling me that she comes to my town about once a month to visit her god parents. I then told her the name of the apartment complex I am in. She reply with a simple "Okay." To which I took to mean that she wasn't really interested in getting together but doesn't want to say so. So I left it at that. Telling myself that I did try to make an effort. A few months went by and one day she contacted me. She said she was going to be in town today and wanted to know if she could stop by? I told her yeah that I would be home all day. She said good and that she would be by around 3:00pm. So......I spent the day cleaning the apartment and looking forward to my childhood friend showing up. Well 3pm came and went and she never showed up. Nor did she contact me to explain why. I thought well maybe she forgot. Maybe something came up. I thought she would message me on FB to explain what happen. But I got nothing. No message. I did not want to message her about it because frankly I do not want to sound "needy". And I felt that she should be the one to contact me and explain why she didn't show up. But she never did. So I spent the whole day cleaning waiting for her to show up and she just doesn't. I now wonder if she simply forgot about the whole conversation? Well anyway thanks for letting me vent my issues.

The kittens are at the neighbors across the lot from me. They must have come and got them out from under my steps. Mama cat is there too. They seem to be alright. I hope they take care of them. I don't know why I worry about kittens but I do.

The kittens are gone. I think someone took them. Mama cat was going around meowing looking for them. Then the next day mama cat was gone.

I'm not sure what I should do. One of the apartment cats had kittens under my door step. I am not sure if I should call the human people or just let them be? The older people in the complex feed the cats that get left here by people who move out. But cats have kittens making more cats and I think something are to be done. Would it be the best thing to call the human society people or what?

Why am I up this early? Oh yeah. Headache and allergies.

Someone may have just put him out. I see that in the apartment complex I live in. People here get cats, then they move away and just leave them behind. We have cats running all over this place because of that. They keep showing up at my door meowing. I tell them I am not the cat lady. Some older people at the apartments feed them.

Wow! just for info. I looked up a babysitting site and there were babysitters from my town listed on the site. They all are wanting $10 to $15.00hr ! One wanted $10 to $25hr ! If I go back to work, that would be more then what I make. The local factory job is just $9.75hr. I would be working to pay a babysitter. I did not know babysitting cost so much! How does anyone afford it?

I know. After I wrote it all out and re-read it I was like "what was I thinking?" I don't know about DHHS. I'll give it a look. Be really cool if employers built daycare rooms on their work site. That's a good ideal.

My 10 year old daughter has ADHD and mild autism. My mother in law (whom some of you know I have had issues with) says she will baby set her. My mother in law does not believe in ADHD or autism. She thinks that all kids like that need is a good whipping. My daughter can be difficult and dealing with her can be frustrating at times. When we were staying with my mother in law, she yelled and screamed at my daughter for in her words "not acting lady like enough". She told my daughter she was going to kick her out of the house if she did not behave. Which would send my daughter wailing. She wouldn't let my daughter watch tv, took away all her toys and locked them up in her bedroom. Then screamed and yell at my daughter when she got caught trying to sneak into her bedroom to get her toys. She also says racist things about how blacks and whites should not mix together and that someday there will be no more white people left in the world because we are all mixing together. I do not want my daughter learning racist ideals. So anyway, while she says she is willing to baby set, I just don't think it would be good for my daughter. I mean I know my daughter will be looked after. But I am thinking this would not be a good ideal.

Well if I have to buy something to get something for free then its not free.

Oh my goodness!

So then I am right to simply ignore people when they say "hey I'll call sometime and we will do lunch". It is kind of like when someone ask "how are you", but everyone knows that no one wants to know how you really are. And if you start to tell them they get annoyed. Okay, I think I get it now. People on this planet are ever so strange.

I don't know if it is just me or if others have experienced this. But over the years I have come to an understanding that people never mean what they say. I have had so many people say to me that they will call me up sometime and we will go out for lunch. Only I never hear from them. And when I bring it up to them they always have an excuse for why they can't go. I had someone invite me to go bowling with them once. She told me she and her husband go bowling on the weekends. After a few weeks went by and she never called to invite me to go bowling, I brought it up and ask her if they were bowling this weekend. She had some excuse for not being able to. I asked several more times but it was always an excuse for not be able to go. Finely I just stop asking, and I never did get invited to go bowling. I don't know why people say stuff like that then never follow through with it. Because at one time I actually thought that I really was going to get a call from them to go out for lunch or bowling. Then it never happens. So I have just stop paying any attention to such offers. Cause I know the person offering it does not mean to follow through with it. So now days if I run into someone and they say to me that they will call me up to go for lunch sometime I just say yeah okay knowing good and well that I will never hear from them. I don't know why people do this? Maybe offers to have lunch or offers to go bowling is just something you say to people to show that you a friendly; but you really do not actually follow through with it. So once again I don't get people.

I'm sorry.

I am finding that I am looking less goth these days as I have gotten older. In fact most of the time I look almost "normal". Whatever "normal" means. Though I still find that I would must rather collect skulls then teddy bears. And if I am shopping for clothes I end up buying something black. Or dark purple.