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Heard from a little Nightgaunt birdie that this thread popped up. 😄 I'm 48, and was active on the board when I was in my early 30's. The format feels different now than it did then, even though its not. "It's not you, its me." 🤣 Just reading this thread, though, has me feeling like I don't know when I'll be back. I want to want to, but in this thread alone there was so much "big D" energy, and people getting off on being labled as pains in the butt, I honestly don't know if I can take it. The "I'm too old for this sh#t" energy is alive and well within me. Popping back on again as all the older members do, I think has a lot to do with nostalgia. We want to feel the same about it all as we did, but maybe thats just not possible anymore. We're all different. And this is where I'll stop because I'll just keep rambling otherwise. **darkkeeses**

The Spook is dead. Long live the n0Mad!

Currently

You're supposed to say my name thrice, but once works.

I got in!

My cats. Buddy & Ashton

*let me do it for yooouuuuu

Right. Most therapists MSWs that I know, and I know a few, are worth their weight in gold but definitely don’t do it for the money. Much like nursing for the amount of work we do, the money is secondary . We do it because we genuinely give a fuck. Most people in service burn out quick and don’t last if they don’t actually care. Hell we burnout when we do care but it’s normally a slow long burn instead of “fuck this I am out”. I will say it takes the “right” therapist. And some times that is really hard to find. And when you are finally at the stage of “fuck I really need to talk to someone and work my shit out” it’s EXHAUSTING to go from person to person, telling your story over and over to find out their is no connection and fuck this shit. And on top of that have to pay for something that didn’t do shit for you. Access and cost are also a HUGE thing. As long as we have insurance to limit who we can and cannot see, how many times a year we can see them, and have it covered as a “specialty” vs preventative care (which it 100% is I don’t understand the logic at all behind that other then they are greedy bastards) it won’t change. Definitely understand the fear of the grippy sock vibes. That is always scary. In bad times it’s walking a fine line. With the right therapist that knows and understands you though, it can be talked through, other options found and crisis plans made. Is therapy great - nope. Not most of the time anyway. I’ll never forget my son coming up the stairs crying after a session when he was going through a lot of shit …and simply asking if this is the way it will always be - and my response - not always, but a lot of the time. If you’re doing it right. Looking at yourself as the common denominator of all the disappointments and shit in your life is painful. It’s hard. But it’s true. You are the common denominator and only you can change that. You also have the wonderful experience that you are also the common denominator in all your strengths, achievements and joys in life. But when I’m an episode that is tucked far away and you forget those things exist. Depression is a hell of a thing. I will be 100% honest and know there are days I have not been able to get out of bed. There are days even looking at my children I have really truly felt they would be better off without me. The dangers of living where I do and having to literally drive over the Huron multiple times on my 10 min drive to downtown, that voice in the back of my mind “is today the fucking day”. Does therapy fix that -fuck no but it does allow me the coping skills to tell that voice to shut the fuck up for a while. That is the best I can ask for right now. In this moment in time that is enough. Anyone. If you need someone to fucking talk to suicidal or not, just need some support. Please reach out. I work midnights, have 4 kids one of them special needs and run a household. I pretty much never sleep. I am always available. Always doing something, awake at all hours lol. The load is heavy to bare alone. I’m pretty non judgmental, and have active listening down to a science (it makes me a damn good nurse). Sometimes someone just fucking listening, even a stranger, helps. *nods

Down to the fucking ground. It's a strange feeling. So many memories. People I became friends with, some I'm still friends with, some long gone on separate paths. I cherish it all.

It's a real shame we don't have a thread for cats. So, let me start. This is Edgar! He's about three years old. I adopted him in April. He's the absolute sweetest and does this little thing where he says "mwer" in his inside voice instead of meowing. I wish I could say I named after Edgar Allen Poe, but he came with it from Harbor Humane. Well I suppose I could still tell people that, it would just be a lie XD

While admitting I miss a few old board members, let's also take care not to invite any of the people that were constantly stirring up shit. That's all I'm going to say about that...

I just watched a train go by with all kinds of nice graffiti on it and it made me so so nostalgic for my hometown. It also made me wonder what the bridge tunnels murals look like now! Last time I went some new kids had painted over a memorial and I realized just how old I am now! A while new batch of teens who didn't even know the story had something new to say and that was more important than a wiggly figure that was supposed to represent someone who they had never met and would never know the name of. It's bittersweet to think that there could be like whole new stories there now.

Testing now that I've uploaded to the site. Those are my two boys; Cas top of the photo, Gabe on the bottom. And Azzi, my girl.

“The indictment, poetically, is 45 pages long.”

Two reasons: 1. My friends are back and I miss you guys. 2. The person that was making me very uncomfortable isn't here anymore.

Here's one of my cats. Ash. Originally was my wife's but has grown insanely attached since she passed. We keep each other going.

this is Prince. He's great. Untill he's not XD hes a beautiful boy, and cuddly. But he also knocks things over and use to smack me in the face with his paws in the middle of the night.

Hi--I am Pearl Purple and I am new here..Just wanted to introduce myself..I have been an avid metal fan for years and love gothic style...Hope you all have a wicked weekend!! --Pearl 8-]]

Was nice to see such a great turnout! Very cool to see so many old friends NOT involving Zoom(!) and meeting a few new peeps that got by me somehow. Thanks, too, for bearing with the music. The very carefully assembled tracks that Scary Guy so graciously provided somehow decided not to play... so we were stuck with a little sumpin' I keep tucked in my car for my own amusement. On the upside, Troy and I shared a love of '80s New Wave, so... maybe not so bad? Mad luv to you all!

We are currently in the works to have DGN transferred to me. Yes, everything is backed up. We just want to keep everything legal and aboveboard so there are no hiccups in the future. No need to worry. 😊

Koshka the food ninja. He shows up out of nowhere when we're eating. He demands a sample of the food. If he doesn't like what we're eating, he looks offended, and demands additional samples and continues to be offended we're eating something he doesn't like. He will also grab food from my hand and run off with it.

This is Buddy. One of two cats that I have. This little guy… When I’m home, sitting at the table eating dinner… Buddy walks by, behind me, on the floor. He jumps up on the counter. Then he jumps up on top of the fridge(which is next to the dinner table). He walks from one side of the fridge to the other… Looks down at me, thinking he’s all slick & sly. Then he does a Bonzai drop onto the table, right in front of my plate. Brazen little rascal.

Phee was kind enough to let me know last night and Bean let me know this morning. Definitely in shock. Definitely in mourning in my own way - as I am sure we all are. It’s odd - how many connections that I have made in my life related to just this site. Without Troy there would be no Keegan, no Apollo, no Lumen - no me really, at least not as I am now. I would not be bound to Michigan- I would definitely be somewhere else, which means not the life I have now - I would not be the person I am today. I would not have two of the best friends for almost two decades of my existence, that I know would “burn it down to the fucking ground” with me ❤️ And though Troy and I only talked once in a while over the last few years, his mark is absolutely undeniable in my life. I wish I could have told him… I hope he found peace. I think every single one of us has been there. Please do let us know when a service or gathering is planned. I don’t do funerals . But I would like to visit if he is buried and pay my respects privately. Love to all the other elder DGNers out there that don’t frequent here anymore while they also mourn. At least most of you anyway. It’s a bizarre feeling. If you need a shoulder, are feeling particularly shitty and just need someone to listen - shoot me a message. Life is too fucking short to bare that shit alone …

I mean, that's pretty pimp, though. Nice job👏👏👏👏👏 I wonder if you can also write that off somehow as a charitable contribution? Start a new 501 C3: Dick for Deductions.

Just came back from my first interview. It could only fail in poetic ways. Classic bait and switch tactic. They offered $19.00 an hour on indeed, and wanted to hire me at $12.50 despite my experience to such a roll. I actually laughed at his face when he said that quote and looked him in the eye and said, "$19.00 an hour or I will have to decline your offer" and as he responded my phone chimed. So right in the middle of his boomer "nobody wants to work" rant I just check my phone. Another employer response from indeed. Before he could reprimand me for doing this in the interview I simply told him another offer has come in and I can't take this offer seriously anymore and walked out. The timing was epic honestly. Now I'm scheduling another interview in Saginaw.

In the middle of the night I was tossing and turning and checked my Facebook and seen my half brother in Cincinnati died in his sleep the day before. He had a rare type of cancer and probably knew that he was going to die soon based on his recent posts. Hopefully he is at peace now.

I've evolved over the years and no longer identify as Spook. I am now nºMad (they/them). The name was given to me by a former coworker. I was quality control for an order fulfillment warehouse and I guess my concentration face looks a lot like angry face. Every time he approached me he'd say, "Whoa, you mad bro?" and I'd answer, "No mad. What's up?" Once he got used to my personality, he just started calling me Nomad. I changed the spelling because reasons.

I really need new glasses. I just read "American Heroes Collection" as "American Herpes Collection"

Aging goth, refusing to get old

WHO SUMMONS ME?! Oh, hey Cherny.

VAZUM (Detroit gothrock) and Palm Ghosts (Nashville post-punk) are playing a free show at Bowlero in Royal Oak on Saturday August 12th. Music begins at 9 pm. https://vazum.bandcamp.com/ https://palmghosts.bandcamp.com/

I live in Detroit or the near 'burbs depending on the moment. HVAC for work. I like dancing and the atmosphere at a few of the local clubs. Every once in a while I staple some trash together to make furniture.

I'm thinking if any of you fuckers get knocked up, you NEED to invite me to your next baby shower for my food ideas I get off Facebook.

I think the final verdict issued today decrees that I am to now remain a quasi-semi-permanent-ish resident of the Rochester Hills Michigan area and will now be the supervisor overseeing the remainder of the current remodel we've been on here. Meanwhile the El Presidenté, Señor Jimmy Hoops will take the bulk of our workforce and forge a path west to Utah and run the 7 week Ulta remodel there. Holy crap it's like Holland, MI last year but like on opposite day or some shit.

A sense of longing for those who haven't returned yet.

For me: My politics are generally pretty simple... If you are not hurting anyone you should be left alone... Socially, being gay does not hurt any one, being trans does not hurt anyone, despite the propaganda immigrants in a general sense do not hurt anyone. Having certain religions beliefs or lack there of do not hurt anyone... but as soon as you start to tell others or force others to follow your beliefs (including kids) you run the risk of hurting someone. Religion usually is the first thing to fail this test, believing in what you want is fine, but religious people barely ever can keep it to themselves. Any type of belief system that tells you that a certain groups or classes of people are better than others "just because" you are hurting others... whether it is believing that you and yours will go to heaven and others will not, or that people with resources vs people without are superior to others, you are hurting others. If you have a zillion times more resources than someone else and think that you have no obligation to the person who does not have the same fortune as you... you are essentially keeping a ridiculous amount more than you would ever need from that person and are hurting that person. (On the other side of this if you are taking from others without any accountability or responsibility for yourself, you are also hurting others, but the amount of this from what I have seen pales in comparison to the amount of wealthy people who take advantage of those who are not) Guns... they exist people have them... this country has it in it's DNA. Responsible ownership is good etc... but the fetish that people have for guns is stupid... the fact that there are more guns in this country than people is stupid... the fact that people fight for the right of unstable people to have guns is stupid. I know this makes me sound left leaning... I am okay with that, but there was a time when conservative actually meant to conserve things and having personal freedom... not so much any more. (this is a start)

Left. Very left. No one is illegal on stolen land. Human rights are non-negotiable. Capitalism is fucking killing us. White supremacy must be dismantled. Anti-fascist.

I came back here after I heard about Troy. I wanted to check the place out again. I saw some familiar names, couldn't remember my login, so I started a new account. Out with the old, in with the new.

Hi!!!!!

After years of unjust imprisonment I am finally free to cause chaos once again!!! Oh hai there!

Rita Repulsive or something. I appreciate all the hard work from you guys. Let this be a shiney new era for this board. I retired from being a troll. Kinda calmed down a lot. Doing the widowed dad thing currently. seeing who is still around and who is new. Gotta get outta that ban cage and stretch the legs a bit so might be quiet for a while.

It's official!!! The boy is now a Graduate and Alumni of Insight School of Michigan, Class of 2023!!!

Last year’s Halloween costume, my spin on the Evil Queen from Snow White. I made the dress and the cape.

@Scary GuyRick Rolled us… brat

Holy shit. I had to double take because even with Sierra and the phone those eyes are a mini Bren. crazy madness. Apollo. kee. Lumen. Ru. Kona. crazy. just nuts.

Kona- Kona wishes for fish in her Kona dog dish.

To Bean, or not to Bean...

"There are no words big enough to describe grief. It’s an incredibly lonely, empty place, a large hole that swallows your soul and threatens to destroy it. It’s a dark place with no light that blinds you, deafens you, and crushes your spirit. It’s a place full of memories you’re afraid to lose. I was in that place. No amount of tears washed away the loneliness. No amount of screams chased it away. There were simply memories, an avalanche of memories that I desperately needed to hold onto. There was so much that death didn’t prepare me for. It didn’t prepare me for the storm that would break my will." ~Hawthorn

I feel conflicted. I wouldn't be married to Marci without DGN. I probably never would have started DJingn without DGN (it's how Kat knew who I was, and she gave me my first booking), so so so many good friends developed because of DGN. Hell, a friend is dating someone I introduced her to that I knew from DGN. A lot of appreciation for the impact that creation had on my life. I had a falling out with Troy, one that I don't think was ever repairable, years ago. This is a weird one to process, because without Troy there's so much that I love about life that I wouldn't have