I totally understand. We are currently living as participants of a similar situation and we have family who have done the exact same thing to their kids while we were growing up. It is hard on the offspring. I try to stay positive, but I'm just crazy like that, because everyone is their own person and will recall situations according to how they remember them regardless of the true toll it took.
After all is said and done and the person in question has finished their "All About Me" show, I always hear the same things, "I did the best I could with what I had" and "You don't know what it was like..." So as hard as it is I try not to be bitter because I think what if I had done the same thing as them, but felt like I did a top notch job because I kept in touch, but then couldn't figure out why people thought of me the way they would be doing. Life is hard and some people feel like they "made a mistake" and decide to start over regardless of the repercussions and still feel they should be welcomed just because they are family.
...sorry if that got I've experienced enough stuff for 2 or 3 lifetimes and the world starts to get a bit monochrome at times.