Who Here Is Single

[FarrIL]

Single as of the 17th. We're still friends though and that's fine by the both of us. I'm actually enjoying my freedom.

[doggymonster]

no, but the most recent guy had the gaul to tell me that I was so amazing and unlike any woman he'd ever been with (and with ever little bit he revealed about his ex's I tend to agree with him lol), but then he made some friends in the area he moved to, and suddenly, some girl, who's 4 years younger than I am, becomes him best friend and they get "closer than [they] should have" and suddenly, he is confused about his feelings... blah blah blah....

Gotta love an emotional affair. They might not have been fucking, but they were falling in love, way before he bothered to break up with me.... Even though I was just SO amazing.

I'm so sick of this bullshit

It is bullshit. I know. I've gotten fucked with before, it was quite a tornado/hurricane-type experience. I don't hate her, and I learned stuff from it, and I won't talk to her because she wasn't cleaning her act up with how she treated me. OH well.

I'm sorry for you, yikes it isn't fun.

[doggymonster]

Single as of the 17th. We're still friends though and that's fine by the both of us. I'm actually enjoying my freedom.

Congrats on enjoying yourself. And you're still friends, that's good that that is the case.

[doggymonster]

no, but the most recent guy had the gaul to tell me that I was so amazing and unlike any woman he'd ever been with (and with ever little bit he revealed about his ex's I tend to agree with him lol), but then he made some friends in the area he moved to, and suddenly, some girl, who's 4 years younger than I am, becomes him best friend and they get "closer than [they] should have" and suddenly, he is confused about his feelings... blah blah blah....

Gotta love an emotional affair. They might not have been fucking, but they were falling in love, way before he bothered to break up with me.... Even though I was just SO amazing.

I'm so sick of this bullshit

I'll make this a little clearer concerning that girl: even though I liked her a lot (I almost got married for the 2nd time), I shouldn't have to put up with her starting stuff between other guys and me (leading them on, letting them sleep in the same bed as her!, etc.). It was my fault though to a great extent as to what occurred because I put up with some of it and I should not have, but maybe I put up with a lot of it because maybe I wanted the learning experience. But last time I spoke to her was probably a couple of years ago, and I simply do not trust the person. She lives in Cincinnati, I almost moved there to live if she and I had worked out a decent relationship, but that did not work out.

[GothicRavenGoddess (3)]

I'll make this a little clearer concerning that girl: even though I liked her a lot (I almost got married for the 2nd time), I shouldn't have to put up with her starting stuff between other guys and me (leading them on, letting them sleep in the same bed as her!, etc.). It was my fault though to a great extent as to what occurred because I put up with some of it and I should not have, but maybe I put up with a lot of it because maybe I wanted the learning experience. But last time I spoke to her was probably a couple of years ago, and I simply do not trust the person. She lives in Cincinnati, I almost moved there to live if she and I had worked out a decent relationship, but that did not work out.

My problem was similar. I should have listened to my gut... Especially when he was getting VERY excited about hanging out with his group of friends. NO ONE gets THAT excited over people that are just friends... But i trusted him... And I was ignoring everything in me, that was screaming that something was wrong... But I've been trying not to be so insecure, when it comes to relationships, trying to be more adult, and less clingy... and look where it got me. Fucked over once again...

*sigh*

Edited January 3, 2012 by GothicRavenGoddess

[Nienna]

I'm with someone. I don't think he loves me and so I won;t allow myself to love him. I did have authentic love once, but it was an unhealthy relationship and I left out of self preservation. It's hard to feel like I'm single in every sense but the freedom one. Relationships suck. I'm starting to think I'm going to just be an old maid for life!

[Enishi]

When it comes to dating and desires, I think it's good to learn to accept and come to terms with the fact one might be single for the rest of their life. It doesn't HAVE to be a bad thing per se, and since such fates are quite common now with some 50% of adult Americans currently single, it's quite likely that many are never going to find "the one". Once a person comes to term with such a reality, rather than pushing it away, they may find that they now have a more relaxed mentality that actually makes them more attractive.

[GothicRavenGoddess (3)]

When it comes to dating and desires, I think it's good to learn to accept and come to terms with the fact one might be single for the rest of their life. It doesn't HAVE to be a bad thing per se, and since such fates are quite common now with some 50% of adult Americans currently single, it's quite likely that many are never going to find "the one". Once a person comes to term with such a reality, rather than pushing it away, they may find that they now have a more relaxed mentality that actually makes them more attractive.

Yeah, maybe if you are in your 50s.

Personally, I'm too young to be thinking about 'being single for the rest of my life". The idea of that, makes me want to cry. It isn't fair and I shouldn't have to accept something like that. Even asexual people have some form of relationships! If we were meant to be alone, we wouldn't find other's attractive enough to want to spend forever with them. Yes, there are exceptions to the rule, and I understand their reasoning... But still.

If I die alone, I'm going to haunt the fuck out of everyone, and make their life miserable.

[doggymonster]

My problem was similar. I should have listened to my gut... Especially when he was getting VERY excited about hanging out with his group of friends. NO ONE gets THAT excited over people that are just friends... But i trusted him... And I was ignoring everything in me, that was screaming that something was wrong... But I've been trying not to be so insecure, when it comes to relationships, trying to be more adult, and less clingy... and look where it got me. Fucked over once again...

*sigh*

Some guys are like that, some women are like that. I don't think it is a gender thing. I think it is the individual person. There is a book "Science of Survival" by L. Ron Hubbard (read only printings later than 2009 since errors have bbeen taken out 2009 onward), a chapter in it called "Method Used by Subject to Handle Others." This chapter goes into depth human behaviour as to the methods that people use to deal with others. Some people are honest, some are sneaky liars, etc.

It depends how the person is that you get involved with that determines what you can expect from him. That's what I get out of it.

[doggymonster]

Yeah, maybe if you are in your 50s.

Personally, I'm too young to be thinking about 'being single for the rest of my life". The idea of that, makes me want to cry. It isn't fair and I shouldn't have to accept something like that. Even asexual people have some form of relationships! If we were meant to be alone, we wouldn't find other's attractive enough to want to spend forever with them. Yes, there are exceptions to the rule, and I understand their reasoning... But still.

If I die alone, I'm going to haunt the fuck out of everyone, and make their life miserable.

I'm not sure but I think about 50% are married, and the other about 50% are not married (this might mean dating someone & not dating someone). There are a lot of people who are not married but are dating someone.

[Simon Bar Sinister]

I'm with someone. I don't think he loves me and so I won't allow myself to love him.

I couldn't have stopped myself from loving the two loves that I've had (fortunately, they each loved me back equally hard).

How is that even done? I'm genuinely curious.

[GothicRavenGoddess (3)]

Things I wish i could say to him (him as in my FWB, not my ex): My delusions weren't with thinking you are attractive. My delusions were that I thought you'd ever like me back.

[Nienna]

I couldn't have stopped myself from loving the two loves that I've had (fortunately, they each loved me back equally hard).

How is that even done? I'm genuinely curious.

By being a cold hearted bi*ch? LOL No really... I'm so incredibly damaged at this point that I have walls so thick that no one gets through unless I open the door, and it's completely intentional. I wish I didn't have to be this way, but like I said, I had love, real love. He would have eventually destroyed me though so I ended things. I have yet to find anyone else that made me feel that way. I refuse to settle, so I have what I have. It's fine for now. I'm not really fufilled, but I'm too old to be depending on a significant other to do that for me anyway. Maybe sometimes I'll find another person who makes me sing, but I'm not holding my breath. Sorry to be so blunt. It's just the way it is with me now.

[doggymonster]

By being a cold hearted bi*ch? LOL No really... I'm so incredibly damaged at this point that I have walls so thick that no one gets through unless I open the door, and it's completely intentional. I wish I didn't have to be this way, but like I said, I had love, real love. He would have eventually destroyed me though so I ended things. I have yet to find anyone else that made me feel that way. I refuse to settle, so I have what I have. It's fine for now. I'm not really fufilled, but I'm too old to be depending on a significant other to do that for me anyway. Maybe sometimes I'll find another person who makes me sing, but I'm not holding my breath. Sorry to be so blunt. It's just the way it is with me now.

I mainly hide. You have walls, I hide.

[GothicRavenGoddess (3)]

By being a cold hearted bi*ch? LOL No really... I'm so incredibly damaged at this point that I have walls so thick that no one gets through unless I open the door, and it's completely intentional. I wish I didn't have to be this way, but like I said, I had love, real love. He would have eventually destroyed me though so I ended things. I have yet to find anyone else that made me feel that way. I refuse to settle, so I have what I have. It's fine for now. I'm not really fufilled, but I'm too old to be depending on a significant other to do that for me anyway. Maybe sometimes I'll find another person who makes me sing, but I'm not holding my breath. Sorry to be so blunt. It's just the way it is with me now.

But in a way, isn't that settling? "So I have what I have"...

[Nienna]

But in a way, isn't that settling? "So I have what I have"...

I don't see it that way. We enjoy eachother's company, and together can live a comfortable lifestyle with alittle extra for random stuff purchasing. On our own, we would both struggle to eat. I'm pretty sure there is no love in the relationship, but certainly mutual affection and companionship. Relationships have been built on much less. Besides, in house sex is always nice!

[GothicRavenGoddess (3)]

I don't see it that way. We enjoy eachother's company, and together can live a comfortable lifestyle with alittle extra for random stuff purchasing. On our own, we would both struggle to eat. I'm pretty sure there is no love in the relationship, but certainly mutual affection and companionship. Relationships have been built on much less. Besides, in house sex is always nice!

Well, as long as you don't feel like you are settling, then that's all that matters. Sometimes, comfort is better than love.

[Destroit]

Yeah, maybe if you are in your 50s.

Personally, I'm too young to be thinking about 'being single for the rest of my life". The idea of that, makes me want to cry. It isn't fair and I shouldn't have to accept something like that. Even asexual people have some form of relationships! If we were meant to be alone, we wouldn't find other's attractive enough to want to spend forever with them. Yes, there are exceptions to the rule, and I understand their reasoning... But still.

If I die alone, I'm going to haunt the fuck out of everyone, and make their life miserable.

Actually, monogamy goes against the grain of humanity altogether. We weren't meant to be alone, but we certainly weren't designed to tie someone down "forever", as you put it.

[TheGimp]

Actually, monogamy goes against the grain of humanity altogether. We weren't meant to be alone, but we certainly weren't designed to tie someone down "forever", as you put it.

+1

which is why i gave up on finding a "life-partner" this new year...i figure ill just have bursts of short term relationships...

[Destroit]

+1

which is why i gave up on finding a "life-partner" this new year...i figure ill just have bursts of short term relationships...

Ah, I've got a life-partner. What an enigma!

[TheGimp]

Ah, I've got a life-partner. What an enigma!

ahhhh you broke you're own rule 0.0

[Destroit]

ahhhh you broke you're own rule 0.0

No I didn't. Reread and rethink .

[GothicRavenGoddess (3)]

Actually, monogamy goes against the grain of humanity altogether. We weren't meant to be alone, but we certainly weren't designed to tie someone down "forever", as you put it.

Who said anything about monogamy? lol I know there are probably plenty of groups of people who desire to stay with their spouses/gfs/bfs for "forever". "Forever" isn't just monogamy specific

[Destroit]

Who said anything about monogamy? lol I know there are probably plenty of groups of people who desire to stay with their spouses/gfs/bfs for "forever". "Forever" isn't just monogamy specific

Touche! I was the dick who assumed .

[GothicRavenGoddess (3)]

Touche! I was the dick who assumed .

lol no worries. But I do get that the "forever" idea -is- usually associated with monogamy lol so it wasn't too far an out there assumption.