Feeling like an outcast in your own community

[Lilith]

Well with all the outcast threads i noticed people mentioning they even feel as if they are outcasts on dgn or the goth commuinty in general. So i was wondering why?

I too have felt befor i may not belong here, i am a little less wanted around here then others and so on. so i thought it might be helpful to here why others feel the same. Maybe if we all know why we feel as if we do not fit then maybe we all will just fit better.

My reason why i feel i dont fit some times is well i dont know allot of you IRL and it seems allot of you do know each other and are able to make it to all sorts of event and have all kinda of things to talk about. I dont know much about music and the artists i just know when i like a song. I guess i feel just left out, which is no one fault just life keeps me away. I often feel as if i have nothing important to say nor am i very witty. My talents are limited, and well my knowledge of everything in general is limited while many of you seem to know allot about allot of things. Many of you seem so much more well rounded then i and i just cant keep up. My life consists of getting up cleaning dealing with kids, docotrs stubborn mother in laws, bills and really nothing more. Which is part of the reason why i came to dgn but yet is part of the reason why i feel as if i dont belong.

Just some reasons of my own, how about You?

lilith

[ManicQueen]

That about sums it up for me as well, Lilith.

My life revolves around my family and work, which leaves me little or no time for socializing. Leaving me feeling very lonely and unimportant.

I don't ever have anything of importance to say which it why I don't post anything interesting. Nothing no one cares about anyway, or maybe it was already said before.

Everyone else seems to have a better personality then I do. But maybe that makes me more goth then everyone else :laughing So HA!

[Scary Guy]

I'm a loner anyway. I usually feel unwanted but I really don't care since I know who my true friends are. As far as feeling like an outcast I feel more so towards family and "normal people" than I do my gothic club family.

[Soulrev]

I get the feeling people here are tired of my posts about me and my wreck of emotions. I'm sure they don't care, it's not anyone's problem except my own.

[Brenda Starrr]

I get the feeling people here are tired of my posts about me and my wreck of emotions. I'm sure they don't care, it's not anyone's problem except my own.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Nope. We're here for each other. Or, so I thought.

[Jarodaka]

I get the feeling people here are tired of my posts about me and my wreck of emotions. I'm sure they don't care, it's not anyone's problem except my own.

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Entirely untrue!

[Steven]

you guys are too hard on yourselves.

you live real lives, like the rest of us, no shame there, and no mediocrity.

I come here (and DCC) because I like the topics, becausze sometimes I feel like my head is going to explode, and because I too have a busy regualr life and yet would love to be able to have the time and energy to connect with other people.

And I have a tendency to seek out others unlike me - because they teach me things, and they show me things, and the remind me of things.

I dont know shit about the "Goth" music scene either. I just like certain types of music - some of it being Goth inspired.

I think the world is full of loners anyway, until we break the rules and band togethor.

Steven

[Guest Game of Chance]

you guys are too hard on yourselves.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Word.

I like to chat/message with all types of people. There aren't a lot of people out there that share the same interests as me.

That being said, if all of my friends were just like me, life would be pretty boring. I hope that you don't ever feel unwelcome here at all.

[fistlover]

I too feel a bit unknown here I haven't been a member very long and most oif my post go unoticed. That beening said I don't feel unwelcome. I lead a good life outside of online and love sex...lots of sex..... I sighed on under the encouragement of a friend here....as far as being goth....I guess I am more hippie then goth....and when I say hippie I mean I lived it....I was a sweet young thing in the 60's....now older, mature , and independant of social intanglements my life is my own to do as I please as long as I don't hurt anyone or anything.....life is good...very very good

[Homicidalheathen]

We are not getting older...just aged to perfection like good wine. Heh. And, you are good M lady. 'Oy.

I too feel a bit  unknown here I haven't been a member very long and most oif my post go unoticed. That beening said I don't feel unwelcome. I lead a good life outside of online and love sex...lots of sex..... I sighed on under the encouragement of a friend here....as far as being goth....I guess I am more hippie then goth....and when I say hippie I mean I lived it....I was a sweet young thing in the 60's....now older, mature , and independant of social intanglements my life is my own to do as I please as long as I don't hurt anyone or anything.....life is good...very very good

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[pomba gira]

I understand some of Lillith's feelings in the sense that it's obvious many people here have known each other for years, have close off-board relationships, socialize frequently IRL, and so on. And it can be offputting to be a newcomer in that kind ov scene. But even if I had time for that kind of social life it's like, "been there, done that"... I truly enjoyed a life of constant interpersonal drama when I was in my 20s, I was good at all the little social games & played them to the hilt. But now in my 40s, that whole scene lacks all appeal. It's nice to have SOME social life, which I didn't for the first couple years I was back in Lansing... but it's actually quite convenient to have most of that social life at a distance so to speak. When I party these days it's almost always in Detroit ... usually a juggalo event and/or an evening at City. Which allows me to maintain the front ov respectable schoolteacher in this small town without totally losing track of who I really am.

As far as being an outcast, hey, I'm a changeling... there have been damn few milieus I've ever fit into. And even in those, well... I don't think there's ever been any group ov people in the history of the world who agree on everything 100%. Hell, that's what keeps life interesting. This group is usually pretty good about respecting each other's differences (or at least pretending to)... and that's no small thing in this world. This board is a cool place to spend time right now... but once school starts and I have minimal time to just be myself, it will play a big part in maintaining my sanity & sense of self.

And no one should feel they have nothing to offer... Lillith, I truly appreciated your input in the fisting thread... I know that sounds goofy but I really considered that valuable info which I plan to use one ov these days. & I'd bet anything some of the younger DGN peeps are inspired by the way you do the marriage & family thing while remaining true to yourself. And ManicQueen, just by being you, you've helped me get over some really negative experiences with EMTs in my sordid past. Those are just the first examples that jump to mind, to illustrate that we never know who may need what we have to offer! Different perspectives are valuable because they ARE different... so don't ever think yours is less valuable 'cos your life seems boring or conventional to you.

[Homicidalheathen]

Very well put....what is a juggalo event by the way?

[Jarodaka]

...i am a little less wanted around here then others and so on.

That is appalling! Unfathomable! Everybody on DGN is unwanted equally! Nobody here is less unwantable than anyone else. It's egalitarian like that.

I dont know much about music and the artists i just know when i like a song.

.

.

.

my knowledge of everything in general is limited while many of you seem to know allot about allot of things.  Many of you seem so much more well rounded then i and i just cant keep up.

Up until about a year ago I didn't know jackshit about music. Now my knowledge level is around shit. I owe much of my rise above general ignorance to AMG. Before I post anything about music (when I do, which is rare) I usually do a search or two. I also use things like Wikipedia, IMDB, Dictionary, and, of course, Google to quickly get up-to-speed on something. It's all 'faked', well, for me, anyway.

My life consists of getting up cleaning  dealing with kids, docotrs stubborn mother in laws, bills and really nothing more. Which is part of the reason why i came to dgn but yet is part of the reason why i feel as if i dont belong.

Just some reasons of my own, how about You?

lilith

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I'm not sure what to say to anyone about this feeling except: please don't feel that way! Everyone brings a different viewpoint and style to DGN. Personally, I like it all. Even if somebody doesn't respond to your posts directly, trust me, they're being read. If DGn didn't make me laugh or get me all pissed off then I'd be pretty sad. I mean, more sad and gloomy than normal.

[mallochai]

Ach... okay, so I'm going to post here, but I am not in any way looking for sympathy, so all you out there going "no, no way" can just hold it in for a minute. :grin

There was a time when I really felt connected to and through DGN. Now that I live in another state, and most of the people I was close to on here have moved on to other things, I'm not as entangled in the DGN web. I'm still here, but I've really fluxed in my postings, and don't really get into the social threads, as I'm not on here for hours and hours of my day, watching for what other people reply.

That said, the only reason I feel out of the circle around here is because I have only been contacted by someone else on here, whom I had not spoken to previously, unsolicited ONCE in the past year. Now, I'm not crying about this, cause it's not as though I've stuck my hand out and said "hey, wanna talk?" either. I guess it's just weird, because I feel like all of you out there talk on im and whatnot every day, and I'm just not part of that loop.

Of course, I'm also only on here after midnight Michigan time, most nights, so that can contribute a bit I suppose. Also, I'm not a very good conversationalist, because I'm usually either complaining or talking complete nonsense.

Anway, I digress. Just thought I'd jump on the bandwagon. There, done whining. Please feel free to spank me now, so none of this gets mistaken for self pity.

:pirate

[Lilith]

Very well put....what is a juggalo event by the way?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

ohhh HH i love you so much,

Juggaloos are those who are a part of the whole psychopathic record leabel family adn they have all kinds of events, picinic at belle isle a whole camping week end at crystal lake (? ) called the gathering concerts etc..... Just think ICP and the hatchet man.

i know there are more around this board who know allot more about that then i, but i do know a few that are close by here and if ya ever want to go i am sure some would not mind taking you along with them.

=) lilith

[Vater Araignee]

Very well put....what is a juggalo event by the way?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

ohhh HH i love you so much,

Juggaloos are those who are a part of the  whole psychopathic record leabel family adn they have all kinds of events, picinic at belle isle a whole camping week end at crystal lake (? ) called the gathering concerts etc.....  Just think ICP and the hatchet man.

i know there are more around this board who know allot more about that then i, but i do know a few that are close by here and if ya ever want to go i am sure some would not mind taking you along with them.

=)  lilith

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It's not that siiiiiiiiimpllllllllllllle.

At least not to the juggalos, however to the jaffalos it is. HeheheHEHhAHahAhAhA

I'm told I'm an outcast by choice.

I don't think I chose my IQ or ADHD.

I do however be whut I wanna be, WHUT

I act how I wanna act, WHUT

I see whut I wanna see, WHUT

I smack who I wanna smack, WHUT

I do whut I wanna do, WHUT

I go where I wanna go, WHUT

If I wanna go into CC dressed like I'm ready for A night of LARPing (or in a ball cap) I'm gonna do it.

If I wanna go into a hip hop club Gothed out to the max. I'm gonna do it.

I'm me and if people want to out cast me that is their problem not mine.

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dam adhd made me forget to check my spelling on adhd

[Lilith]

For me i felt better after seeing vague comments about not belonging. I felt as if I was not the only one, I see others whom I think are accepted here mention they feel a bit out of place, and so on. So I thought if all of those who have had a moment like this mentioned it others would too see that they are really not the different and perhaps even discover they are more of a necessity around here then they thought.

Feeling out of place is natural at times especially as we grow in to and out of own personal beliefs and what not. Often that feeling of out of place is unnecessary cause well it just simply is not true, its just you don’t know, or for some reason something has stuck in your head and you over look other things.

Some times as it was pointed out you don’t know if your particular post has helped or not and not knowing can make a person wonder in any situation.

I wanted to help the youngens who are in deep questioning where they belong in any situation not just here, I wanted to help the adults who are still growing and learning and often wonder about them selves, we adult too still happen to go through some of the emotions a teenager does, just on a lesser degree and it seems we get less help as we are supposed to have it all figured out.

I guess I just saw a particular comment and it made me feel 100% better knowing that I was not the only one who thought maybe they just don’t belong and wanted that person and other to know there is allot of us who feel the same and thus that makes us all fit even more then we would have thought.

no one at all has made me feel the ways I stated before there is not one post or comment or private message that has brought this on, just an observation of others slight comments here and there and my own silly insides viewing my self.

I love dgn it is my connection to the out side world that don’t involve kids and laundry, i have no thoughts of going or anything, if I did I am one of those people who would just go and not mention it. I was not looking to gain recognition for my self or any one else.

I was just trying to make this place stronger as a whole maybe lessen some tension and ease the flow of conversation between every one. I wanted others to feel the light pop on in there head as it did for me. I just wanted every one to feel accepted.

This is thread for every one.

Now i don’t want to disrupt all the wonderful comments every one has made about those who posted there woes here, reading them has brought to light how silly I was to really think I was not valuable and hopefully others will feel the same too.

I don’t want to disrupt those who have not posted there woes either cause well that is really what this is about, Just knowing others feel the same as you at least at one time or another.

I just don’t want any one to view this as a pity party or anything because it is not my intent.

I also wanted to say thank you to those who have privatly contacted me in reagrds to this, You guys are great and i do appercaite it allot.

Thank yOu pomba, i view as you as a very respectable person and you intirgue me allot withthe many diffrent things you do and i admire that allot. Your words mean allot to me because of that.

I luv ya all here

lilith

[Lilith]

It's not that siiiiiiiiimpllllllllllllle.

At least not to the juggalos, however to the jaffalos it is. HeheheHEHhAHahAhAhA

I'm told I'm an outcast by choice.

I don't think I chose my IQ or ADHA.

I do however be whut I wanna be, WHUT

I act how I wanna act, WHUT

I see whut I wanna see, WHUT

I smack who I wanna smack, WHUT

I do whut I wanna do, WHUT

I go where I wanna go, WHUT

If I wanna go into CC dressed like I'm ready for A night of LARPing (or in a ball cap) I'm gonna do it.

If I wanna go into a hip hop club Gothed out to the max. I'm gonna do it.

I'm me and if people want to out cast me that is their problem not mine.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Vater i by all means know it is not that simple but for some one who knows nothing or very little about it it is the easiest way to put it, i dont think any one could really know how full scaled a juggaloo or the family is unless they have been personally exposed to it. I have been exposed at many diffrent times and i dont understand all of it and probally never will just due to lack of time and life.

I like you vater, you have allot of self confidence not something you see allot of b you hold to what you like and love and you love your wife and kids thats just really good. Ya kinda grasped the whole "i dont give a fuck" concept and took it from being a deliquient who hates the cops to ya know what this is what i like so fuck you if ya dont like it, it is your problem. I can really respect that allot.

Lilith

Lilith

[Homicidalheathen]

OMG that sounds F*ck*ng Awesome! Yah I wanna go......someone adopt me? Just for a day....? :grin

ohhh HH i love you so much,

Juggaloos are those who are a part of the  whole psychopathic record leabel family adn they have all kinds of events, picinic at belle isle a whole camping week end at crystal lake (? ) called the gathering concerts etc.....  Just think ICP and the hatchet man.

i know there are more around this board who know allot more about that then i, but i do know a few that are close by here and if ya ever want to go i am sure some would not mind taking you along with them.

=)  lilith

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[Homicidalheathen]

I think this little diddy just became my own personal mantra....hope you don't mind....

It's not that siiiiiiiiimpllllllllllllle.

At least not to the juggalos, however to the jaffalos it is. HeheheHEHhAHahAhAhA

I'm told I'm an outcast by choice.

I don't think I chose my IQ or ADHD.

I do however be whut I wanna be, WHUT

I act how I wanna act, WHUT

I see whut I wanna see, WHUT

I smack who I wanna smack, WHUT

I do whut I wanna do, WHUT

I go where I wanna go, WHUT

If I wanna go into CC dressed like I'm ready for A night of LARPing (or in a ball cap) I'm gonna do it.

If I wanna go into a hip hop club Gothed out to the max. I'm gonna do it.

I'm me and if people want to out cast me that is their problem not mine.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

dam adhd made me forget to check my spelling on adhd

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[Vater Araignee]

I'm thinking maybe I should better explain my self.

Many times I have felt like I didn't belong.

White kid in an all black school. Then...

City kid going to school with bumpkins. Then...

Wiccan going to Catholic school. Then...

White kid back in all black school.

Hell the only friend I ever made at a job is married to me now.

I just plane don't mesh but having been this way for years I've come to realize something important...

If people stooped worrying about fitting in and just started concentrating on getting along this world would not be destruction worthy.

And I know I'm coming off like an oxymoron with this because of my need for bonding rituals but hey I don't have to like the "Law of equivalent exchange" I just have to work with it best I can.

[Vater Araignee]

Vater i by all means know it is not that simple but for some one who knows nothing or very little about it it is the easiest way to put it, i dont think  any one could really know how full scaled a juggaloo or the family is unless they have been personally exposed to it.  I have been exposed  at many diffrent times  and  i dont understand all of it and probally never will just due to lack of time and life.

I like you vater, you have allot of self confidence not something you see allot of b you hold to what you like and love and you love your wife and kids thats just really good. Ya kinda grasped the whole "i dont give a fuck" concept and took it from being a deliquient who hates the cops to ya know what this is what i like so fuck you if ya dont like it, it is your problem. I can really respect that allot.

Lilith

Lilith

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[Vater Araignee]

I think this little diddy just became my own personal mantra....hope you don't mind....

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Whut lyrics

I'll have a dl of the song for you soon.

[pomba gira]

OMG that sounds F*ck*ng Awesome!  Yah I wanna go......someone adopt me?  Just for a day....? :grin

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hah, nothing's EVER "that simple"!

I think you would like us, HH, you are open-minded enough to see beneath the surface to what Juggalo Family is really about. Plus you're a fun-lovin grrl and anytime 2 or more ninjas get together fun will be had!!!

"My" juggalo crew, the 05 Clique, is giving a mini-gathering picnic at Belle Isle on Sat. 9/10... we'd love to have you there so hit me up PM if you're interested. We'll prolly hit City afterwards & usually there're at least 2 party rooms at the Ramada. :fear

I know I've seen a few questions about the Gathering, so this is prolly a good time to explain a bit ... guess I was waiting for someone else to do it since I know there's at least 5 or 6 other ninjas here. Anyway the past 3 years the Gathering of the Juggalos has been at a giant ass campground/state park in Ohio, the place is actually called Nelson Ledges Quarry Park but for the duration it's known as the Crystal Forest. Basically it's like a 4-day/nite juggalo con, with concerts every night & all manner ov insanity all day & night. There's private security so the local law can't come onto the grounds (altho they take great pleasure in nailing as many ninjas as they can out on the road), which makes for a more, um, relaxed atmosphere :whistling .

The first 3 Gatherings were held in more traditional, convention-hall settings... I wasn't around then so I can't comment on those... but for me those 4 days in the woods being totally ME with my juggalo family is what keeps me sane for the rest of my double-life year.

I have some GOTJ pix in my gallery thingie... they're kind'a lame 'cos I spent most ov my time out at the campsites this year (as opposed to the main stage area where the best people-watching is), but they'll give a bit ov an idea what it's like.

[Homicidalheathen]

I want to go to this Ohio Gathering sometime....been looking to widen my horizons...Indiana...too many red necks and wierdos....New york and Chicago are too far and I hate crossing the border.

So I am going to go sign up on the website or whatever today....I do think I will 'fit in' with these people...heh heh....

Hah, nothing's EVER "that simple"!

I think you would like us, HH, you are open-minded enough to see beneath the surface to what Juggalo Family is really about. Plus you're a fun-lovin grrl and anytime 2 or more ninjas get together fun will be had!!!

"My" juggalo crew, the 05 Clique, is giving a mini-gathering picnic at Belle Isle on Sat. 9/10... we'd love to have you there so hit me up PM if you're interested.  We'll prolly hit City afterwards & usually there're at least 2 party rooms at the Ramada.  :fear

I know I've seen a few questions about the Gathering, so this is prolly a good time to explain a bit ... guess I was waiting for someone else to do it since I know there's at least 5 or 6 other ninjas here.  Anyway the past 3 years the Gathering of the Juggalos has been at a giant ass campground/state park in Ohio, the place is actually called Nelson Ledges Quarry Park but for the duration it's known as the Crystal Forest.  Basically it's like a 4-day/nite  juggalo con, with concerts every night & all manner ov insanity all day & night.  There's private security so the local law can't come onto the grounds (altho they take great pleasure in nailing as many ninjas as they can out on the road), which makes for a more, um, relaxed atmosphere  :whistling .

The first 3 Gatherings were held in more traditional, convention-hall settings... I wasn't around then so I can't comment on those... but for me those 4 days in the woods being totally ME with my juggalo family is what keeps me sane for the rest of my double-life year.

I have some GOTJ pix in my gallery thingie... they're kind'a lame 'cos I spent most ov my time out at the campsites this year (as opposed to the main stage area where the best people-watching is), but they'll give a bit ov an idea what it's like.

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