People can surprise you in great ways sometimes

[Michael8402]

I didn't have the best relationship with my parents growing up.  They got married at a young age with 2 children and didn't have a happy marriage.  Needless to say, the unhappiness resulted in drugs, alcohol, abuse, or just plain being absent.  I spent a lot of time with my grandfather and my great grandmother.  Since I have grown up and my parents have been divorced, I have seen some amazing growth and changes in them.  Both of my parents have improved their lives dramatically and are actually making a point of trying to help me in ways I never would have expected.

I started this topic for people who have been through similar situations and would like to share some of the experiences they have had that show how much people can change. 

[Michael8402]

I would like to start by sharing the fact that both of my parents took time from work to help me move from Central PA to Novi Michigan, which is a 6.5 hour drive on a good day.  My father drove 4 hours from his house up to my old apartment to help pack and move the first load here after he had already worked a 12 hour day at his job.  I had money for gas and tolls but he refused to let me spend a single cent on the trip here and back.  My mother and step father helped us on memorial day with the final packing and loading of the moving truck and helped with driving the 3 vehicles here, full of animals, cages, and furniture, and drove me back to PA so I could finish cleaning my old apartment.  They also didn't let us spend any money on gas for the trip.  This really made an impact on me because it showed that they really did care about my future and supported my decision to move away from the rest of the family and the area I grew up in. 

[Michael8402]

I actually just had an amazing moment today to share as well.  I have been wanting to start my own business building exotic animal habitats.  My main issue is the lack of tools.  It is frustrating to have all of these ideas in my head that I just don't have the tools I need to make them come to life.  I have gone to the hardware store and priced out what all I need but it is difficult and very deflating since I don't make much money.  Well today, as I was getting ready for work, there was a loud bang outside out front door and my dogs started going crazy.  I looked out the door and there was a brand new ARC welder sitting on my steps with a FedEx label on it.  I have had one on my amazon wishlist for awhile and I was planning on saving up to buy it.  I checked the tag and it was addressed to me with no return address.  There wasn't even a receipt inside the box.  I posted about it on facebook and I sent a text to everyone I thought of who might have known that I was looking for a welder.  Several hours later, I got a text back from my father simply saying "the mask and gloves should be there soon.  I ordered the good ones."  I called him to thank him and he said that he found my wishlist saw the welder.  Not knowing much about tools he decided to look them up.  He saw how much they normally go for and decided that it was to much to make me save up for one and that the one I had on my list was a really good price.  He ordered it and saw that the mask and gloves were suggested so he tagged them on.  He explained that he never fully understood my love for exotic animals but he is trying to learn more about them and after seeing how much care they require he thinks that my cage building business is a great idea and he wants to help where he can.

[kat (1)]

I actually just had an amazing moment today to share as well.  I have been wanting to start my own business building exotic animal habitats.  My main issue is the lack of tools.  It is frustrating to have all of these ideas in my head that I just don't have the tools I need to make them come to life.  I have gone to the hardware store and priced out what all I need but it is difficult and very deflating since I don't make much money.  Well today, as I was getting ready for work, there was a loud bang outside out front door and my dogs started going crazy.  I looked out the door and there was a brand new ARC welder sitting on my steps with a FedEx label on it.  I have had one on my amazon wishlist for awhile and I was planning on saving up to buy it.  I checked the tag and it was addressed to me with no return address.  There wasn't even a receipt inside the box.  I posted about it on facebook and I sent a text to everyone I thought of who might have known that I was looking for a welder.  Several hours later, I got a text back from my father simply saying "the mask and gloves should be there soon.  I ordered the good ones."  I called him to thank him and he said that he found my wishlist saw the welder.  Not knowing much about tools he decided to look them up.  He saw how much they normally go for and decided that it was to much to make me save up for one and that the one I had on my list was a really good price.  He ordered it and saw that the mask and gloves were suggested so he tagged them on.  He explained that he never fully understood my love for exotic animals but he is trying to learn more about them and after seeing how much care they require he thinks that my cage building business is a great idea and he wants to help where he can.

Hugs. What a great thread and awesome of you're dad. 

[kat (1)]

I have a story about life and I think I can talk about it here. 

My dad was a habitual bank robber. He robbed over a dozen banks from Michigan, Ohio, and Kentucky. I don't know the number but I asked him about it and I said, have you robbed over a dozen and he looked at me like, that was nothing and just said..yea. I speculate that number to be much higher. He spent the majority of my life in prison, his last time out he was basically caught while trying to escape from the cops, they told me that they asked him to drop the gun at which point he took two steps backwards and put the gun to his head and shot himself. He was brain dead and the hospital waited for all his family from down south to arrive to say goodbye before my mom and everyone had to give them the OK to pull the plug. I had to attend his funeral on my 19th birthday. My dad was a gambler, he worked for the big 3 when we were kids. He robbed the first bank that sent him to prison when I was 4..my mom cried, with three little kids, one an infant, she had no skills and had to get on welfare. I feel like she has never deep down stopped crying. My neighborhood was on lock down because the guy he robbed the last bank with was held up in his house, after I found out he was involved and called the FBI. This was all over the news, the people from my neighborhood all know who we are, that is kind of the fucked up neighborhood legacy of the Hundley name. My brother is in law enforcement and The government knows what his background story is. He was afraid our name would ruin his dream since childhood, but it didn't, we do get background checks like annually due to his federal job and that is standard. He gives us a heads up when its background check time, lol. I guess big brother is literally watching my entire family (damn, I just thought about that)

Anyway, my mom was a mess raising us, she emotionally abused us, I got the worst part as the oldest, she called me ugly, whore, how could I have such an ugly daughter? These were daily things I heard since about age 8. I was suicidal at age 8. I fantasized about climbing the senior high rise there were two identical buildings on my block, I wanted to just take the elevator to the top of it and jump from the roof. Again, I was 8 years old. It is a complete mind fuck to me knowing I was suicidal at 8. Anyway, saying that I had a bad childhood is an understatement. We lived in squaller, no hot water, no food, we at the end had to use a water hose to shower in the basement. My mom had to eventually flee from the house we lived in as child protective services were regularly coming to the house and school. We were told by my mom if CPS ever got into the house that we were to go into the basement, crawl out the window, and run as fast and far as we could do not look back. We have wished they got us but they never did. The house was infested with everything, don't even try to picture it because it was unimaginable and I would not want that shit in anyone's head. My first bf, I seen him a few years ago, we tried to be friends and he confessed to breaking in my house after we left it and he just looked at me like horrified. The rumors that we lived like that were going around I suppose he was curious. They had to demolish the house. II have made bad decisions in my life, I was a dropout, teen mom but I had to escape my life and I ended up couch surfing at the age of 14, was locked up in a home for girls, had suicide attempts was in hospitals, I tried to tell but it was like nobody wanted to listen. They just thought, oh she's crazy, my mom would be there and say she's crazy and she'd start crying so, they didn't believe me.. Because, well I am crazy. I don't talk about this usually but it's my story and it did hugely impact my life, becoming a teen mom was my freedom.. The difficulty of being a teen mom, losing my fiancé at the time to death by car accident was nothing compared to the shit I endured as a kid. I did get a GED, I did go to college but I am not a happy ending success story like I fantasize about becoming, the reality is that it may never be what I wanted, I wanted to go to grad school, I wanted a successful marriage and a semi regular life. I say normal life and people ask me what normal is, and in my head I'm laughing because I know what normal isn't. I secretly have always had a goal of ironically becoming the complete opposite of what I started of as in life. 

Anyway, my mother finally goes to therapy and has taken some responsibility. She apologizes to me daily and I'm like mom, its over. I'm OK. 

I guess this is why I never felt like I fit in no matter what. I really just wish I had someone who cared to try and understand me but it would be difficult and I can't expect that. 

Edited December 5, 2015 by kat

[sekhmet2002]

I'm so sorry you went through all of that. I hope you get what you want really soon, You deserve it.

[Troy Spiral (13)]

I'm so sorry you went through all of that. I hope you get what you want really soon, You deserve it.

I'm so sorry you went through all of that. I hope you get what you want really soon, You deserve it.

this

[kat (1)]

I'm so sorry you went through all of that. I hope you get what you want really soon, You deserve it.

 

this

I appreciate you taking the time to listen. I want to inspire people that have had bad beginnings one day to try and find the strength to turn all the negative experience into positive, like my brother. I am very proud of him. I always love when I get the chance to work with teens who's family disregard everything that they say, and who call these kids bad, I will take a kid who is argumentative as hell, and try and show them how if they learn to channel that passion that they can turn it into a positive trait, like a kid who argues, encourage them to learn debate, join debate team, go to law school or kid's that like to fight, teach em how to really fight, boxing was fairly popular in my neighborhood, it kept alot of the boys focused and on a positive track....I used to want to open a creative arts type center for kids from my neighborhood, I had noticed so many are great at writing, music, and arts, high levels of ADHD and bipolar and depression in the city, the kids need an outlet, I wanted to do that or something creative and therapeutic. I love to see what society treats as negative flip mode and become something breathtaking and inspirational. I dream big

[EatAjaxAndDie]

I have a fucked up story too...but all that matters is that we continue to persevere and get better. I am glad that you two (Kat/Michael) have kept moving on and have made a better life for yourselves, even if it didn't work out exactly as you wanted. I am in the process of doing that too.

[Troy Spiral (13)]

Just "keeping in motion" can help a lot , its just that much less brain power you can expend on the bad stuff, as you have to focus (at least somewhat) on what is right in front of you.  The "Troys Hide in Bed" system SUUUUCKS.   has like  less than  half a star on amazon.