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HAPPY FUN TIME ERISIANIAN OASIS


Rev.Reverence

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  • 2 months later...

III - A Discordian is Required during his early Illumination to Go Off Alone & Partake Joyously of a Hot Dog on a Friday; this Devotive Ceremony to Remonstrate against the popular Paganisms of the Day: of Catholic Christendom (no meat on Friday), of Judaism (no meat of Pork), of Hindic Peoples (no meat of Beef), of Buddhists (no meat of animal), and of Discordians (no Hot Dog Buns).

So, I discover the 5 rules a little after I am told my views are somewhat Dischordian...this happens to be on a Friday, mind you...at 10 p.m. There are no nearby 24 hour COney Islands...and besides, I am without a car at this point...but, lo and behold, we has hot dogs in the freezer...just no buns. I come to realize that hot dog buns are just glorfied dinner rolls (which we do have lying around)...I consider whether such could be deemed a "hotdog bun", as that is the central issue...I even attempt to convince myself that I can perform such an activity on the following Friday; THat fails, so I do some artisan work on the rolls and construct a "Penta-bun" from the rolls (Thus, adhering to the "Rule of 5" and making one massive hotdog bun in the process [ if you are going to sin, sin ALL the way!] ).

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  • 1 month later...
  • 1 year later...

A Good Place For A Desk

"You can't go on like this." The man in a weathered jacket replied.

He sneered with a bag full of baby carrots, "I've got two pennies, I can go any damn way I want."

The third, gaudy sunglasses, a desk, and cane in front of him, "Nobody wants your two cents, why don't you take the envelope on this desk here before I decide to burn it."

"Are any of you buying gas?" The clerk asked.

The three looked at each other in silent question. The man at the desk leaned over to the freezer handle and pulled out a 24 oz of beer, "Put it on my tab-- debit.. card. Its laying next to the register between those two lighters."

The man with baby carrots walked over and put his two cents in the 'Take a Penny, Leave a Penny,' "There, its done! Is that what you wanted? Is that how I'm going to go out."

"No! God damnit!" The man in the weather jacket screamed.

The guy behind the desk untabbed his booze, pulled out a strike anywhere match, struck and lit the envelope on fire that was on his desk.

The man with baby carrots left, fuming.

"What the hell was in that envelope!?" The clerk asked.

The man behind the desk took his shades off; he was tense and in need of haircut, sweat dropping down his sullen face, "Envelopes."

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