Nienna

I got in!

I got in!

I got in!

I got in!

I got in!

I'd be down. I don't check here often though so let me know.

I'd be down. I don't check here often though so let me know.

Troy, as one who has been through the whole cancer / surgery / chemo thing twice now, I can say, try to hang. It was not pleasant, but I'm alive today and so glad I persevered. I'm here for you, I know how you feel and will suppirt you however I can. For the gastrectomy, I have the same surgery (85% removed)so I can talk to you about that too if you need it. *hugs* I know I've been out of touch for awhile, but I do still care, and want to see you pull through this.

By being a cold hearted bi*ch? LOL No really... I'm so incredibly damaged at this point that I have walls so thick that no one gets through unless I open the door, and it's completely intentional. I wish I didn't have to be this way, but like I said, I had love, real love. He would have eventually destroyed me though so I ended things. I have yet to find anyone else that made me feel that way. I refuse to settle, so I have what I have. It's fine for now. I'm not really fufilled, but I'm too old to be depending on a significant other to do that for me anyway. Maybe sometimes I'll find another person who makes me sing, but I'm not holding my breath. Sorry to be so blunt. It's just the way it is with me now.

By being a cold hearted bi*ch? LOL No really... I'm so incredibly damaged at this point that I have walls so thick that no one gets through unless I open the door, and it's completely intentional. I wish I didn't have to be this way, but like I said, I had love, real love. He would have eventually destroyed me though so I ended things. I have yet to find anyone else that made me feel that way. I refuse to settle, so I have what I have. It's fine for now. I'm not really fufilled, but I'm too old to be depending on a significant other to do that for me anyway. Maybe sometimes I'll find another person who makes me sing, but I'm not holding my breath. Sorry to be so blunt. It's just the way it is with me now.

"If you fix it, they will come."

I'm almst 33. I also still pass for mid 20s usually and get carded often w=for cigs and booze. It's fine with me. I still feel great and want to go out alot. That said, my BF right now is only 5 years older and claims he has little interest in going out because he has gotten too old and "age is catching up to him". That's sad to me and I think it's just mind over matter really. He's decided he's old, so he is. I refusae to be, so I'm not. Besides, I have friends ranging from their teens up to their 80s right now and I relate to them all on a personal level that transcends age. Whay can't I relate to a scene in the same way?

It's odd.... I feel the world aging around me, including perhaps my body... But I don't feel like I am aging.

Because I'm a lazy fuck and everything I do seems to involve sitting on my ass .