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"real" Family


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My "real" family is my close friends (which includes like 1-2 actual biological family members).   The genetic accident that  makes me "related" more closely to other humans doesn't mean much to me.   Much of my "Biological accident family" sucks the proverbial donkey balls.  

Its the personality / compatibility / compassion / Caring / willingness to spend time with each other (even if we don't for whatever reasons) whenever able that defines "family" to me.  Even if many of said 'family' I've not seen in real life in  quite awhile.

 

 

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I'm the same way. I was kept away from my dad's side of the family, so I'm not close to them. My cousins on my mom's side were mean to me growing up and I really only saw them on Christmas. There were two older cousins who started coming to Christmas later (they had been kept away by their mom) and I've always liked them but we don't really have much of a bond since we didn't grow up together. Same thing with my half sister. We didn't grow up together and we have nothing in common. I wish I had that sense of family that other people seem to have.

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  • 4 weeks later...

I have distant family, some of them I love and some of them I couldn't care if they walked into traffic.

Real family to me are those who make the time to actually hang out and are there for you.  I may not get to see them often but I know I can call and they'll be there.

It's a title that has to be earned though, and can vanish fairly easily.

When you don't feel particularly close to anyone life is pretty hard.  There are very few that "get me" completely.  Those people should be treasured above all others.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I am still discovering things about my family after all these years. My name on my birth certificate isn't even true! No wonder I feel like I don't know what I am or where I belong. There is so many things that are taboo and/ or everyone just dances around certain questions. It's weird.

So, to all the DGN family, thanks for adopting me!

Edited by kat
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2 hours ago, Scary Guy said:

Really?  Wow that's weird.  Maybe you got took as a kid.  You should do some genome tests to see if you're actually related to both your parents.  I mean that sounds like a red flag to me.

Then again, I'm paranoid about everything.

What happened was my mom had me before she got married to my dad so I had her last name but what she didn't tell me is he was MIA when I was born and so I was a Damron not a Hundley, they had my original birth certificate altered when I was maybe 2 to make it seem like I was not born out of wedlock. Lol. That was like a big no no in my family my mom was raised by my maternal grandmother, my grandpa appearantly beat my grandma and made her give my mom to him. (That's my grandma's story, my Mon said it's bs) so I grew up knowing my great grandma has my grandma until my mom reconnected with her biological mom and siblings, they're all gingers too, which makes me wonder like idk about what I am. My dad was in and out of prison and I so I don't know much about his side except they're from Harlan, KY and a lot still live there also I appearantly own a portion of a house down there.. Along with all the other grandkids, like a lot of grandkids. Lol

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I accidentally created a small family reunion for my dad's side of the family over the weekend. My aunt and uncle messaged me and said they found a painting that was done of my dad when he was in his early 20's and wondered if I wanted it. My dad died when I was 12 and was very secretive about himself so anything I can learn about him is great. I love seeing pictures of him and the idea of someone doing a painting of him is neat. So I asked them to meet me at the brewery that some of my cousins and uncle opened in Shelby Twp. I was hoping a cousin or someone else from the family would be working that day so I could get a chance to talk to them. My aunt and uncle called my other aunt and uncle to tell them they'd be there and see if they wanted to go too. So I ended up getting to see 3 of my uncles (my dad's brothers), their wives, and 1 cousin. It was nice to hear stories about the family. I feel very disconnected from them.

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  • 2 months later...

I love my family both biological and chosen. Since my accident, despite all the craziness and instability, my family has never turned against me. Even rescuing me from my kidnapper. We may not be The Brady Bunch but we try to be there for each other even if we disagree, argue, fight, or move to the other side of the planet. We always work together when the going gets tough and welcome new members, even if we don't agree with their philosophy.

I really love my family.:grouphug

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  • 3 months later...

I barely have any family to speak of. I have my mom and her brother that live close. My dad lives in Georgia and we don't know each other hardly at all. We don't even know enough of one another to carry on a conversation unless it's about animals. He's where I got my love of animals and exotic pets from. He moved when I was in my early teens so it's been a long time with maybe 5 visits or so over the years. I have two half sisters that are his daughters. We get along great but live far apart and just don't really contact each other. My dad's side of the family essentially disappeared from my life when he moved so there is no family there. I have recently had one cousin find me on FB on my dad's side. We talk on FB sometimes and it's nice to have a person on that side of the family to still call family. My family (mom and uncle) doesn't always get along together but we try. 

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What little family I have has scattered to the winds.  I never knew my dad.  I was raised by my mom and grandmother.  The few cousins I interacted with as a kid have moved on and never kept contact.  My mom had some cousins that when she died, helped me get her ashes from the funeral parlor but haven't heard from them since.  That was in 06.  Only family I have, that I consider family is 2 friends and their families.  When I lost my house, they stepped up and helped me with a place to stay.  They never made me feel bad over my situation.  Now I have my DGN family to include.

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