GOTHIKA

thx; i finally went to city club this past saturday

thx

Dued to wednesday's car accident i will not be attending any clubs including leland club anytime soon until I am well enough to go out. I have a closed head injury with 4 staples in my head. So, I was looking forward to seeing you all there but now I won't so have fun!

thx

thx

i hope so; i just feel like...........idk how to explain it. u may think im crazy if i tell you so here goes. when i feel dead, i feel like sitting there, staring off into another realm; flying through my past about myself; watching everything & everyone that made me who i am just past by as if im watching a movie about myself. then i wake up screaming in my sleep

i mean i did coke twice, weed in dec. 2008 & oding on muscle pills. but idk; i told my sis; she really understood me. i need to be put back on the path to where i need someone to give me the truth straight, brutal & honest. if u can tell me like it is i know that u care bout me. now, i can barely sleep cuz my mom is crying cuz her bff died of a heart attack earlier today & the more death sadness i get from ppl, the more i stress out to help but she told me to put sonya 1st b4 ANYTHING & ANYONE.

thank you all for your responses

what am i doing? i want to get away from this place i used to call "home" in lake orion, michigan. rescue me from damnation of giving myself up to someone who can never satisfy me! *bangs her head into a wall & falls down into a big white pile of coke with a big sniff*................................. .AHHHHHHHHHHH RELIEF!

Have you ever got sick and tired of dealing with your kids all day? ever got tired of the same shit repeating everyday? your spouse is barely doing something with their lives? and you feel like turning to drugs is the answer? Ive been there in fact; IM THERE ALREADY! Im a mom at age 21 with a daughter name sonya. you may think a child can change my life for better. it changed me for better & worse. Im here truly expressing myself of what its like as a mom with nothing going for myself in my life. I know other parents or couples probably been there like me. well do you know what life is like waking up to someone you dont belong to? playing WOW (WORLD OF WARCRAFT) everyday to amuse you? thinking all you will ever be is a unemployed, stay at home, dad/mom who plays games, cooks, cleans, & give yourself to someone who doesnt make you happy? I kinda wished I never got pregnant then I would have enjoyed my life more often. but with sonya in my life i feel like im tied down! please feel free to express yourself parents on this topic; For i already have........

if only you were in my body to experience everything that has happened to me

I would go into so many details responding to that question but im gonna give you a cliff notes version of how im feeling! im a mom at age 21, living wit my baby daddy who's working for nu-way trucking driving school, no job, no money, nothing to show for myself except a daughter name sonya who is very beautiful. when im under stress i do things to myself that ppl may look at me as a bad person. i dont do it around sonya; but i do these things to remind myself that im alive; but i feel dead inside everytime i wake up & lay down wit a man that doubts everything about me. i turn to my ex for happiness that last only for a day; but not forever.

It's been ages since I made a new topic; but so much drama has happened that I'm drowing in it and I can't get out of it. my man broke up for he was the source of my stress; met a new guy and now I'm pregnant by 2 months. My friends have left me alone in the coldness of their world. I may be alone with a baby and a man I barely know; but deep down inside me wants to destroy it all and all those who oppose me. I'm filled with so much anger; that it's starting to consume me day by day. I'm alone with no one to talk to; my family gave up, my friends don't care and it hurts me so bad that everyday I scream in pain, sorrow, anger towards those who refuse to help me. I despite my ex for so long that I still feel the pain inside me and I want to release it so badly that I want him to fear me; he spreads lies, broken up my family and crossed me for the last time. why do I hold so much anger for one man that is dead to me?

Hi, I;m Jasmine a.k.a. GOTHIKA. i was new to this yesterday by my friend, dmoney! nothing much 2 say since i'm always on the road to bordom! that's all for now......