If You Ran a Cult?

6 posts in this topic

So if you had the opportunity to start your own cult with no restrictions and you as the leader.... what would it be like, what odd things would be in it, how would it be described, what king of strange things would have?



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I've often pondered this, Phee. Good topic btw. Hmmm, let's see. I think I would start a social justice vigilante sex cult. I think what we would do is like old school gang member "vee" ya in. Ass whipping like fight club style but no gender bias. We would do stuff. We would do things but we would ultimately be uniting everyone of all race, class group, religion, culture, everything and the ultimate goal would be to never, ever let another person be discriminated against ever.

Meh, this isn't really a cult, huh? 

I tried.

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Okay here are some "rules" for the cult... keep in mind this is NOT how I would run anything in reality... because I am NOT a FASCIST icky religious bastard... but this is fictional.


1.) Pet's are to be treated as a minimum as equals if not superior to humans. They deserve to be exalted for not being people.

2.) Musical appreciation will strictly enforced. To be clear, I really don't care what music you like or dislike, but you must show your passion for it regardless in very obvious and unsubtle ways.

3.) Stargazing is sacred, therefore our commune is located in the desert away from light pollution. 

4.) Daily orgies and last minute ones will be commonplace. You don't have to participate, but don't be all judgy.

5.) Death sentences for talking incessantly during movies, interruption of reading, interrupting gaming without it being a life and death circumstance.

6.)  Do your damn chores you slackers.

7.) Any discrimination based on race, sex, or sexual orientation is considered a death sentence. 

8.) Anyone hurting children or animals unnecessarily (for example self defense or medical reasons) will be tortured then put to death.

9.) We all live in a big ass castle.

10.) The library, art/recording studio, and screening room are considered places of worship.

11.) In addition to chores, everyone must create something every day, be it art, music, cooking, invention or even journaling. One is required to add to the beauty of our society and the world.

12.) If you don't like horror movies at least a little, you will be exiled. 

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Oh and one other thing.... people are allowed to vent without interruption from people trying to make it a competition. So none of this... "Oh you didn't get enough for lunch??? I didn't even get a chance to eat!!!" that kind of thing.... you will be hit in the face with a claw hammer and then exiled if you do this.


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1.   We need some sort of ritual, maybe just lighting a candle and some easy , helpful sounding catch phrase.  Better done in a group but ok to do alone knowing you are part of a group. Makes for more devout cult members. 

2.  All sorts of symbols that can be monetized into shirts and merchandise. 

3.  All the actual "Beliefs" would be super easy to follow and mostly biased toward women (who spend the most money) with a few SLIGHTLY hard to swallow ideas just so people feel like they are actually doing something and believe something not everyone does. 

5. Typically a "cult" is around a person dead or alive that can "reveal" new truths,  I'll go with alive if I'm the leader.  lol 

6. Not super easy to join as a  "full member".  (definitely need ranks/levels)  Easy to join means easy to leave.   Have to think about what that would be.  One of the things would be I personally would have to trust the person with my life for the "top ranking" cult members. 

7.  The cult needs to have an ACTUALLY GOOD aspect/goal  to it, I wouldn't want to run something that was a net bad for society.  Making a few bucks? Sure.  But fucking up society worse than it is on purpose... couldn't do it.  Also there would be 7 core beliefs/rules/goals whatever we want to call them, with the number 7 having some significance.  Shit....  I'm found out.  lol

Wait, that's already my plan for House Spiral for people that aren't already in it (which is maybe 10 people)

So if a few years from now I have an L. Ron Hubbard  style cult, you can look back and see (just like he did) I wrote about the "what if" aspect ahead of time.  

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Mine wouldn't be that strange. We just all live on a big farm and milk cows and grow things. Maybe lots of trees cause I like trees.  Then every night we would all play D&D. Lord of the Rings would be required reading. And everyone has to change their name to something Hobbity or Elvish.  See. That's not very strange at all. 

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