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What to do with our dark thoughts.


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Accepting your darkest emotions is the key to psychological health.

Rumi, the 13th-century Sufi poet, famously compared emotions—”a joy, a depression, a meanness”—to “unexpected visitors.” His advice was to let them in laughing, but that’s not what we do. Instead, we pretend not to notice, or even hide. We want to bury resentment and anger, or trade loneliness in for the more fashionable gratitude.

In a cultural age that’s decidedly pro-positivity, the pressure to suppress or camouflage negative feelings is real.

However, psychological studies have shown that acceptance of those negative emotions is the more reliable route to regaining and maintaining peace of mind. Whether practiced through the lens of ancient Eastern philosophies, or in increasingly popular forms of treatment like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and Mindfulness-based Cognitive Therapy, acceptance of one’s dark emotions is now backed by a body of evidence connecting the habit to better emotional resilience, and fewer symptoms of depression and anxiety.

Full Article:

https://qz.com/1034450/accepting-your-darkest-emotions-is-the-key-to-psychological-health/

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The 'fake it till you make it' thing is a short term fix were the mindfulness is a long term one. Its sort of like xanax vs a lifestyle change.

Xanax might work fast and quicker but does nothing to the underlying issues. Thats partly why this 'new school of psychology talks about 'transitioning. Its near impossible to go cold turkey on this. But the body of evidence is now overwhelming that it works....if you work it.

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Huh? What? You mean science is actually on board with the whole, um BEING REAL thing now? 

Hmmm, so like my glass half empty, raw, brutal, disgusting honesty that I been told to supress, to just think positive all along my approach my entire life was actually...healthy? Hmmm. I can fall back in love with my misery! Thank you science folk! Thank you!

(Psst, glad you posted this though seriously, all smart assisms asside) insert random heart

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  • 6 months later...
  • 3 months later...
On 6/2/2018 at 9:43 PM, firekitten15 said:

Dark thoughts, when expressed in creative ways, can make great poems, movies, books, etc. Would that be considered a negative source to draw from?

Maybe you need to take a crack at the opening post again...see a portion of it below:

~~~~~

On 7/23/2017 at 5:33 PM, Troy Spiral said:

Accepting your darkest emotions is the key to psychological health.

Rumi, the 13th-century Sufi poet, famously compared emotions—”a joy, a depression, a meanness”—to “unexpected visitors.” His advice was to let them in laughing

~~~~~

Rumi is saying to welcome them in with open arms and draw on them for inspiration. 

 

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We, as humans, label things to try to classify everything so we can feel good about ourselves when we fit into the "correct" classification.  It's our need to be "normal" that has labeled these feelings as "negative" or "unwanted".  If negative emotions were the accepted norm, then people with positive emotions would be the odd ones.  This does not mean this mindset is right, but when the majority accepts it as the norm, that is what makes it the way to be, a.k.a. mainstream thinking, thus the term Mainstream.

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I personally do not make a distinction.  If I have certain thoughts...be it of the "dark" natured variety, I try to determine what brought it on and if it is something that will warrant me to try to harm myself or others.  But it's no different than when I have non-dark thoughts...I still try to determine what brought it on and what outcome am I looking to have by expressing them.  Whether we label them light or dark, they are both still sides of the same coin which manifest within an individual.  How we chose to proceed with those thoughts determine the integrity of our true nature.

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Let them wax and wane. When you try to control them it can become obsessive (hello, to the beginning of an OCD diagnosis) if we try to fight our fleeting thoughts obsession can occur,  than we get all freaked out and have to subconsciously create a ritual on how to counter the thoughts so here is where we can develop the compulsion.  People think OCD is comprised of clean and neat freaks. Trust me though,  people who are truly OCD probably wish that's what it was. I know because I had postpartum OCD after my son. 

Edited by kat
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The new way is to not even bother with stuff like "why am I doing this?" "why am I acting this way"?   The shortcut is "is this helping me?" "is this behavior appropriate?"  "is this reaction appropriate?"  If you don't know if it's appropriate, go with no it's not (thoughts, feelings) if the answer is no, then stop.  If you cant stop, try to stop, if you keep trying it will get easier, it might take 20 years or it might take 2 months but it will get easier.  There is a lot more too this (meditation, diet, exercise, education) but that basic concept bypasses all the unnecessary stuff.  

The second easy to say but hard to do is you have to love yourself, which for some makes sense instantly, for others it feels yucky.  But, if you don't treat yourself the way you would treat someone you love, your self-esteem/self-confidence/self-worth will all hurt badly and cause more problems.  When you get upset take a 1-2 minute "me" break and think of things that are good about you.  It could be something as simple as "I'm good at playing Jax"  "My ass is hot" "I'm smart" whatever, try to think of 3 things.  Then the next time you do it (hopefully every time you get upset but that takes awhile) do the same thing again.  Look in the mirror sometimes, unconditionally say "I love you" to yourself. (hard for some? HELL YES IT IS... and that is a huge problem we need to fix, if we can't do that, we have esteem problems which are the core of most mental health issues. 

I could go on like this for 20 pages but we all have evolved "automatic negative thoughts"  (A.N.T.S.) have to retrain ourselves to have positive thoughts.  Which takes a lot of doing for some of us.

 

 

 

 

  16195231_1410706775668510_1701077486391273382_n.jpg

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