How Are You Feeling?

[kat (1)]

7 minutes ago, TronRP said:

It's like a dinner invitation...I would be ready to eat that.

I cooked authentic tacos just threw some together one day a few years ago and Slogo was over and he killed them lol. He was like omg make these more!! Lol. 

People don't know stuff like that about me. I actually calm down when I bake stuff too. It's weird. 

I would cook for y'all too. Just kind of need a spot to do it. Lol

Edited October 25, 2017 by kat

[TronRP]

2 minutes ago, kat said:

I cooked authentic tacos just threw some together one day a few years ago and Slogo was over and he killed them lol. He was like omg make these more!! Lol. 

People don't know stuff like that about me. I actually calm down when I bake stuff too. It's weird. 

Cooking is used as a form of therapy, so it's not weird that it calms you. 

[Trene4000]

The swelling from the first degree burns finally went down and I can actually use my hands again so I am pretty much content. 

[kat (1)]

I truly understand now how annoyingly anxious and awkward I actually come off to people and I know it and I want it to stop and I hate this about myself so I say I'm sorry all the time and than people get on me for saying sorry so much which annoys everyone even more which makes me feel worse and no wonder I'm alone. Who wants to deal with I'm sorry and I'm a nervous wreck and my over analyzing everything even a tea cup. 

[TronRP]

5 minutes ago, kat said:

I truly understand now how annoyingly anxious and awkward I actually come off to people and I know it and I want it to stop and I hate this about myself so I say I'm sorry all the time and than people get on me for saying sorry so much which annoys everyone even more which makes me feel worse and no wonder I'm alone. Who wants to deal with I'm sorry and I'm a nervous wreck and my over analyzing everything even a tea cup. 

I used to say sorry ALL the time.  My siblings (especially Trene) got me out of that.  I always felt like I was bothering people with my very presence of being.  I literally got it knocked into my head that I have just as much right to be here as anybody else.  What made other people important enough to exist without apologising for being alive and yet I was apologizing for the same thing - being alive.  I felt a little silly as I watched myself interact with people and noting my saying sorry for the most oddest of things.

I learned how to not say sorry.  I would start with "oh, I'm so..." then I would laugh a little so I got used to saying "so...hahaha".   It came across like I was breaking the ice so people would engage me in more conversation.  I started finding it funny and I think that's when I started laughing at myself because I knew the true meaning behind what I was saying.  Then, it got to the point where I no longer said that and would just hold conversations with a light hearted laugh letting the other person know the conversation was all good.  And it went from there.

By no means was it an easy journey, but it is a doable one.  

 

 

Now...the over analyzing everything...that's another monster all unto itself...still battling that one...

[kat (1)]

On 10/26/2017 at 0:20 AM, TronRP said:

I used to say sorry ALL the time.  My siblings (especially Trene) got me out of that.  I always felt like I was bothering people with my very presence of being.  I literally got it knocked into my head that I have just as much right to be here as anybody else.  What made other people important enough to exist without apologising for being alive and yet I was apologizing for the same thing - being alive.  I felt a little silly as I watched myself interact with people and noting my saying sorry for the most oddest of things.

I learned how to not say sorry.  I would start with "oh, I'm so..." then I would laugh a little so I got used to saying "so...hahaha".   It came across like I was breaking the ice so people would engage me in more conversation.  I started finding it funny and I think that's when I started laughing at myself because I knew the true meaning behind what I was saying.  Then, it got to the point where I no longer said that and would just hold conversations with a light hearted laugh letting the other person know the conversation was all good.  And it went from there.

By no means was it an easy journey, but it is a doable one.  

 

 

Now...the over analyzing everything...that's another monster all unto itself...still battling that one...

And than there's this thing I feel like I'm either being scrutinized for acting like an anti-social bitch or frowned upon because people have criticized me for being too nice or too friendly, too "real" etc ... .

 

Edited October 27, 2017 by kat
Edited because I shouldn't say that.

[Draco1958]

I hear both of you on this subject.  I am constantly double checking if I did something right for someone.  Over and over.  I have an irrational fear of failing when doing something for someone else.

[kat (1)]

15 minutes ago, Draco1958 said:

I hear both of you on this subject.  I am constantly double checking if I did something right for someone.  Over and over.  I have an irrational fear of failing when doing something for someone else.

Yesss! Same here. 

 

Edited October 26, 2017 by kat

[TronRP]

16 hours ago, Draco1958 said:

I hear both of you on this subject.  I am constantly double checking if I did something right for someone.  Over and over.  I have an irrational fear of failing when doing something for someone else.

 

16 hours ago, kat said:

Yesss! Same here. 

 

Yep...that's a definite.  That is one thing I truly wish I could get over...and that continuous playing of every conversation over and over again in my head to make sure I came across right or said the correct thing.....I so annoy myself with that .

[TronRP]

Feeling almost too hungry to wait for the official gathering time..."ELF needs food now!!!"

 

 

Quote from "Parker Plays"...seemed appropriate. 

[kat (1)]

Bored. No work until tomorrow at 4 but no car no money=nothing plans.

[Draco1958]

41 minutes ago, TronRP said:

Feeling almost too hungry to wait for the official gathering time..."ELF needs food now!!!"

 

 

Quote from "Parker Plays"...seemed appropriate. 

Not sure what movie this is from but how about "The Donga Needs Food"

[TronRP]

17 hours ago, Draco1958 said:

Not sure what movie this is from but how about "The Donga Needs Food"

Parker Coppins is a YouTube personality, ParkerGames, who does a show called Parker Plays on Disney XD when it becomes D|XP (usually after 9pm depending on the show that's airing).  He was invited on the D|XP show "Polaris Primetime" when Wil Wheaton was guest starring.  The hosts sent Parker on a blind date where they had Wil and others tell Parker what to say on his date.  They fed him lines from video games and what emotion he was to use while delivering the line...it was hilariously entertaining.  

Sadly, I couldn't find a clip of the actual date due to all the YouTuber personalities, who are invited as guest on the show, posting their own versions of what they experienced...can we say Wacky...

[kat (1)]

I feel like what I expected costumers to be like was not exactly what I got because I kinda got talked to in a way a line of costumers did not like and they were pissed. The one lady was like is she a manager, your new (we have training signs) she's like why is she talking to you like that? I wouldn't put up with that and she kept going on and on and than the lady behind here chimed in and it was embarrassing I was trying not to make eye contact, the lady and her older daughters she was with looked like they wanted to cry ot hug me or something and that made me almost run out in tears. I felt so embarrassed and ashamed. Like on display like a freak. It was humiliating. I don't know how I stayed and than later the trainer, she's telling everyone how I have anxiety like that's going to make me less anxious and anyway wtf does that have to do with you being unprofessional?

Besides,    I didn't do anything except my fucking job! 

Edited October 28, 2017 by kat

[creatureofthenyte]

I feel that I’m on vacation.

[TronRP]

Feels like I stuffed my gut beyond capacity and passed out...

[kat (1)]

My eyes been itching and watering I think I'm allergic to weed smell.

[kat (1)]

I'm stranded by 8 mile and I don't know where I'm going.

[TronRP]

Feeling happy they gave me 10 more days to get all of this paperwork together. 

[TronRP]

20 hours ago, kat said:

I'm stranded by 8 mile and I don't know where I'm going.

Whoa...what happened?!?  Where are you now?  Did you make it to where you were going?  Are you OK?

[kat (1)]

13 hours ago, TronRP said:

Whoa...what happened?!?  Where are you now?  Did you make it to where you were going?  Are you OK?

I was trying to find somewhere, a shelter, anything. Still am but there's nothing open and my family makes me feel like shit and I really can't take anymore. I had to sign myself in the hospital in September because I had nowhere to go and I am now back to where I was before that incident. My mom and sister make me feel terrible and always have, they make fun of me like my entire life. I swear to god I would rather die than be around them. She's one of them pretty people who get away with murder, seriously. My ex husband was right. 

Edited October 31, 2017 by kat

[TronRP]

3 minutes ago, kat said:

I was trying to find somewhere, a shelter, anything. Still am but there's nothing open and my family makes me feel like shit and I really can't take anymore. I had to sign myself in the hospital in September because I had nowhere to go and I am now back to where I was before that incident. My mom and sister make me feel terrible and always have, they make fun of me like my entire life. I swear to god I would rather die than be around them. My ex husband was right. 

This is so worrisome, especially with the weather going into the winter season.  If only you could sign up for the Tiny House program which is supposed to be designed to help homeless individuals who are still able to work.  I haven't heard much about it since the signing in the Cass Corridor.  There has to be something.  Too bad the churches no longer take people in like they used to...actually, I don't know if they still do or not.

[kat (1)]

3 minutes ago, TronRP said:

This is so worrisome, especially with the weather going into the winter season.  If only you could sign up for the Tiny House program which is supposed to be designed to help homeless individuals who are still able to work.  I haven't heard much about it since the signing in the Cass Corridor.  There has to be something.  Too bad the churches no longer take people in like they used to...actually, I don't know if they still do or not.

They do it through rotating shelter programs, which I just left one this morning in which they told me they had no room but to maybe hang out in like McDonald's or somewhere for the night...um...so..yea.

[TronRP]

1 minute ago, kat said:

They do it through rotating shelter programs, which I just left one this morning in which they told me they had no room but to maybe hang out in like McDonald's or somewhere for the night...um...so..yea.

I wish I had time and funds to build you a Tiny House.  The question would be where to build it?  Most people put them in the location of a garage, but who would allow you to live on their property?

[kat (1)]

4 minutes ago, TronRP said:

I wish I had time and funds to build you a Tiny House.  The question would be where to build it?  Most people put them in the location of a garage, but who would allow you to live on their property?

*thinks*

I wish I had somewhere.