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How Are You Feeling?


Troy Spiral

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I feel bad.  I got behind on donations and helping people now that I have a new car note.  I never wanted to have a mortgage and an auto payment at the same time.  That's one of the reasons I always buy "used".  But I couldn't dodge it forever...so here we are.

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5 hours ago, Draco1958 said:

I sure hope you can make it.  Noelle, her BF and the girls are supposed to be coming tonight.

Really glad I was able to make it.  They are a beautiful little family. :biggrin:

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Like calling the cops on the crazy lady next door is pointless, again she has been screaming at someone or something all day than screams something crazy at me through my window. They won't take her to the hospital. This is how bad things happen. This is not good. 

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I can't believe I feel so nervous about starting any of these physically demanding, time consuming projects because the little ones I need to count on to keep things running smoothly are unreliable and I have, so far, ended up doing double and sometimes even triple duty...

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As bad as Ive ever felt without actually needing to be hospitalized. 

Lost a good friend over NOTHING. (Very upsetting and seemingly unfixable as they wont even speak to me)

Worse:

My newly reduced (how do you lower zero ugh) income will have to stop buying (sensitive subject) the marijuana vape cartridges which in 15 years are the only things that have 1. Stopped the every night nightmares 2. Help me sleep without making me depresed 3. Get rid of this all-over body pain I get. 4. Cut way down on the axiety/depression/social phobia of PTSD MAKING LIFE WORKABLE without side effects.  5. Stop a bad panic attack FAST. Far better than Xanax. 

(100 Bucks a month-5 weeks ish)

Man im depressed. The suck it up system is failing again. And yes ive tried ENDLESS prescription and natural remedies over thr last 15 years. None of them really work, and even if they do its only very slight.

That was what sort of 'brought me back' to life about 2 years ago. Once i run out of what i have left i know exactly what is going to happen. Fuuuuck. Damn this country/healh insurance not covering it.

Hell even all the crap that IS covered is a struggle.

I try so hard to not be a slacker and just keep trying to get better but my body and my $ituaton just keep screwing me.

Id cry if I could.

FML

 

 

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I'm totally exhausted.  It took longer than expected to get all of these little ones situated.  Shadow Walker has now joined the indoor Sisterhood along with Kali and Tawny.  I got creative making her a place to recuperate from surgery using a pet cage and a storage bin.  However, the hardest part was getting Tawny to stop pestering the cat inside.  She kept trying to break into the cage.  She finally passed out about 30 minutes ago and everything was quiet until our neighbor just started cranking up the base outside, thus shaking the house.

Dang...Tawny's awake now. :cat:

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