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what are you doing right now?


paradox

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I've been trying to concentrate on filling out these forms for guardianship, but all I can see is more responsibility that I'm not sure if I'm mentally ready for. I can't stand being the responsible one.  Sometimes I wish I had been more rebellious in my youth instead of feeling obligated to every need my family had. 

Maybe in my next life...

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Well I attempted to maybe find a person to befriend, I just to at least maybe chat with but noone stands out to me, the secret admirer game is cool cause you get to guess who is admiring you but as far as when these guys wanna start a conversation, it just nothing seems to grab at me, noone is interesting to me. I just want a friend.

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Um, I have nothing going on seriously

 I did laundry this morning, I walked at the park on the pier, I shaved my leg's took a bath like twice, took a nap, um made some appointments, got a nice voicemail from a coworker, watching TV I guess, chatted on meet me, I'm staying away from facefuck, this is not in order, um I ate, straightened my hair even.. I got nothing:(

 

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Um yeah so I just got this email from that video game I mean meet me site and it said

"Kevin owned you, see how much he thinks you're worth"

I didn't even know that I was for sale... 

Guess I'll go play the secret admirer game... Eff it

Kinda feels like playing Mario  idk like the third one or something and you break the stairs just to get to that mushroom turtle and you keep jumping on it really fast getting all the coins, that was fun

.yea I'll pretend it's a video game.

Edited by kat
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Omg! I juuuust realized, duh, meet me! There are truck drivers on there, omg duhhhh, meet me! It tells where a person is from and than there current location, that is why its literally meet me! Hollllly sheee

Dear, that's why dickweed was on their, when he was over the road he could find bi, I mean females to literally just go $#$&! 

Damnnnnn. 

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Omg! I juuuust realized, duh, meet me! There are truck drivers on there, omg duhhhh, meet me! It tells where a person is from and than there current location, that is why its literally meet me! Hollllly sheee

Dear, that's why dickweed was on their, when he was over the road he could find bi, I mean females to literally just go $#$&! 

Damnnnnn. 

gallery_4589_1202_442.jpg

 

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I am currently crunching numbers for our mother's care. I think we are about to run into a bit of financial trouble if we do not make some major decisions in the next few days.  I know she wants to pass at home, but at this point, in order for that to happen we will have to come up with $4,000 - $5,000 just to cover aides per month. And this does not include bills, shopping or educational costs for school extras for the kids.

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Trying to dodge the chic next door in the next building, she has attached herself to me and she is extremely twisted, she just met me two days ago. She is homicidal as hell and calls me at 6 am and begs me to come like go to the store with her or come hang out, it's creeping me out...I hate living here, everyone I talk to can barely form a sentence cause there high as hell, I told her I have my own drama and didn't want to be in her shit she is sick and stoned all day.

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Trying to dodge the chic next door in the next building, she has attached herself to me and she is extremely twisted, she just met me two days ago. She is homicidal as hell and calls me at 6 am and begs me to come like go to the store with her or come hang out, it's creeping me out...I hate living here.

  There are new places in the development I live in.  You could move to Novi and be my neighbor.  I am kind of creepy but I don't do drugs and tend to sleep till around noon.  Though I am awake till about 4am.  Lol.  I have pet snakes, rats, turtles, reptiles, and dogs to play with though.

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  There are new places in the development I live in.  You could move to Novi and be my neighbor.  I am kind of creepy but I don't do drugs and tend to sleep till around noon.  Though I am awake till about 4am.  Lol.  I have pet snakes, rats, turtles, reptiles, and dogs to play with though.

thats interesting because as I am considering not going back to doing the job I was doing I had actually sent my resume to a health insurance company in Novi and they recently contacted me wanting to interview me, but I gotta work on my health right now so I am not sure if I should be career searching at this point. I end up living in the shittiest apartments because in the little suburb I am in its slim pickings and I have so many medical bills on my credit and a foreclosure from when I was married but I only moved back to this Area because the high school which my daughter is now done with. I would love to get out of Michigan ultimately. My lease is up too. Lol

Edited by kat
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So ol' girl comes knocking at my door this morning at 7 am, my daughter is asleep and been working and going to school..this morning she gets to sleep in, anyway I hear chic knocking at my door and I obviously knew it was her but I asked just in case and soon as I heard her name I was like um don't knock on my door this early, have some respect, she just walked away idk I'm sure she's over there plotting my murder now lmao I better not go outside and see anything in disarray with my car, she is always saying she's going to bust people's windows and kill people, lalala, 

Okay, I'm an educated woman here,  and she knows what I do but I'm not sure she quite understands. The empath in me wants to grab her and hug her and let her cry that hostility out, and to a degree I have, I literally had her in tears letting it out. HUGE mistake. I know she looks at me like someone she can come to, however she is in need of more than I am able to assist her with, I have told her dude you need to find some zen, she said she likes being psychotic.. OK, but I'm a mandated reporter, if I tell her what that means, she will consider it a threat, I also know the jurist preceding over her case... She needs to stop, really, really stop. I am not amused either by her racial slurs and I am sick of other white people who assume that all white people are down with racism like we are in some secret racist club, she bragged about her kin being part of some bullshit omg, this is what personally makes me ashamed to be a white chic with southern roots, I fucking hate that shit.

I am done trying to help you now.

NOW, You are upsetting me. NOW you are intruding and..

I told her last night, do you think you are the only person whose going through something? I know what she is in the middle of dealing with, a lot, but there is an aggressive person inside of me who starts to quiver, and adrenaline rush comes and the more she talks crazy the deeper I feel my anger, she needs to really leave well enough alone, pretend she doesn't know me, she told me she thought I was a bitch when I first moved in, well

There is a reason for that, honey.  I am trying to tell her as kindly as possible and my logic tells me that she has no insight, essentially "can't talk to a psycho like a normal human being "

So I just need to keep that wonderfully grounding Poe lyric in my head when dealing with her but I know that I am not going to feel threatened if she continues, it's not going to be good. 

Edited by kat
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She carries a knife too, so now I have to keep this utility blade on me. This is sad, this is really sad. I feel like why don't I just move back to SW Detroit, with this shit..seriously, I don't need it. I am not going to be without anything if she comes out at me in one of her delusions and I don't know what she was capable of.

Edited by kat
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