DorianDawes

All I really want to do, is to scar the minds of everyone I come into contact with. That way, even when I die, I live forever inside the frightened memories of my beloved audience.

I really am nothing you've never seen before. Post 9/11 America lives in fear of everything that moves. My goal in life is to take those fears and shove them in your face, and force you to confront them.

---((Addendum if you're daring to read this far, and just because I'm too self-absorbed to talk about myself so little))---

==I am the moth, and you are a flame.

I do not know you, but it doesn't matter.

I love you.

If you're here, if you're reading this.

It means that you saw my picture,

You read a story of mine,

Or maybe you've fallen into this pit by accident

But if you're reading this, it means something inside of you Some sick and twisted thing about me has piqued your interest It means you're like me

Outcast

Weird

Strange

A freak.

...Monster

And for that, that reason alone

I love you, and you are beautiful

I was raised in a small, little town in the middle of the woods. My earliest memories are of creatures invading my yard, and even though these are limited to swamp-things (alligators, dangerous snakes, big spiders, and other such vermin), I imagined lions showing up to my door as a kid, and saw faces in the panelling in the walls.

For most of my childhood, I lived a fairly carefree, albeit isolated existence. My only friends were my younger sisters, my only authority were my parents. I was a good kid, safe, sheltered, protected...ignorant.

As the real-world began to creep in on the loving fantasy walls my parents had strived to create for my sisters and I, a kind of need overwhelmed me. There was an entire world out there, and it seemed better than the darkness growing within the walls of my home. I dipped nervous toes in the cold water of the big, wild world and by the time I was seventeen, I took the whole plunge.

What helped me survive for years as a lonely teen struggling with a budding attraction towards men and boys alike, were stories and heroes. David Bowie, Clive Barker, ancient gods lurking through Lovecraftian text, a sprawling gorgeous cemetery where I could read and dance into the night, horror stories that kept me going, that dared me to face everything that frightened me and embrace the monsters.

I became a monster.

---

Now that exposition's out of the way, here's a few things you should know.

1. I'm quite bored with modern entertainment. Chances are, I don't like your favorite band, I probably hated your favorite movie, and that book you love so much put me to sleep. But that doesn't mean we can't be friends.

2. I'm quite the narcissist. I have a huge ego, I'm vain, and chances are, I think I'm better than you. These are both my biggest flaws and my greatest strengths.

3. Nobody is more insecure than I am. That's not a contradiction, it's just an extension of my self-centeredness.

4. I push people away, and then I wonder why I'm lonely.

5. I'm as unpredictable as it gets. Just when you think you have me figured out, I'll go chameleon on you and do something completely out-of-character. I like to spice things up. Life is short, be smart, but then when the opportunity comes to do something really crazy, take it. I never want to ask, "What have I missed out on?"

6. I refuse to call myself anything besides what I am, and until the results from the DNA-test come in, we'll just say I'm a little strange. Labels have been thrust on me by people who just don't get "it". I've been called everything from a queen to a brat. From a demented punk-brat to a faggot. Titles inadequately given in a misguided attempt to understand me, or at least make me safe for public-viewing.

7. I'm not safe for public-viewing. If I ever become safe, shoot me. I want to leave you with scars.

8. I want to entertain people in any way possible, I do this mostly with my writing. I write mostly horror stories because I like it, and because fear is man's first emotion. Don't believe me? Try being born.

----

Still here? Fine, let's sum up my head for you, you'll be here a while.

Old buildings, ruinous places, lonely street-lamps, long hallways, eerie lights in halls, flickering fluorescents, moths trapped in cobwebs, long bugs that crawl through holes in wood, boys in makeup, girls that act like boys, rock music, David Bowie, old horror movies, blood, sex, murder, monsters, cloudy days and rainy nights, hang-nooses on winter days, blue butterflies, fairies, glitter, shiny black things like tar, royalty, underground caverns, haunted areas, secretive towns, frightful rednecks, pretentious rebellion, freedom, expression, the need to be better than everyone, the horror that comes when I fail.

If you want to know anything else, read my stories.