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Everything posted by kat

  1. Okay, for real... I think I probably have a daddy fetish or something similiar, I need to feel protected or looked out for...I don't really think that is a fetish, I think it's normal considering I am very independent and have always been since I was a kid, I was forced to be the mother and take care of my siblings, I was forced to take care of my little cousins, all before I was old enough to even think about sex. Not to analyze or justify my fetishs or my perversions but fuck it, that's what I do, I over analyze, so sue me. Anyway, when you go your entire life as the one in charge, the mom, the dad, the eldest as well, everyone has always looked up to you and depended on you for everything....but you yourself lacked anyone to depend on as there was noone there, well guess what, you have to find that in which you lack somewhere, it's like the reason you crave chocolate, because you lack magnesium, or a better example...back in the day, a woman, the story I heard goes somehow like this Countess Vera had a servant who had gotten cut and the blood had dripped onto Countess Vera's finger, well, she looked at her finger and out of curiousity she tasted the blood of her servant..and liked it. It is said that after incident she began killing men, like over 100 I think they said, by I think poisoning them after she accepted a date with them as she was beautiful and single, so she would have a dinner date set up, poison their food with I believe either cyinide or arsenic I can't remember which one, and than drink their blood, she even would take literal blood baths in the blood. Well, the food supply back in the day was low in iron, low iron causes anemia, iron supplements did not exist back in the day and woman and anemia is very common, especially of childbearing age and back in those days, so drinking blood "vampirism" would make sense that it would feed the need for what Vera or anyone low in iron intake and immediately give them what they need for their body. Well that's kinda what happens I think with fetishes. That need is still there, it has to be fulfilled and for me, some people have physical lackings like the need for blood, others have emotional lackings, the need to be controlled, Mine rears its ugly little head in my relationships/sexual life...(but I like it that way, I can take care of myself financially, and any other way,, I don't need anyone to depend on for anything other than the ability to feel controlled, at times, and it's fun. So, what theories can you discuss, things you have heard, ties you can make, connections to our inner workings...facing your stuff is the first step to integrating yourself back to reality.
  2. How Are You Feeling?

    I cannot sleep.
  3. What Are You Thinking?

    You know your a paranormal geek when you get excited that your office is inside an old, abandoned, haunted psychiatric institution:)
  4. How Are You Feeling?

    So very nervous about starting back to the nonprofit life tomorrow.
  5. Song that describes your mood right now

    I'm cackling here, seriously.
  6. Songs that can MAKE you cry...

    I wanna cry when I listen to his voice. It makes me melt like da...yum!
  7. How Are You Feeling?

    Feeling like I need to sleep.
  8. How Are You Feeling?

    I feel optimistic. I feel like I just finished the onboarding for the shelter case management job that I received the official offer for this morning and I'm hoping this situation with borrowing this car temporarily works out. I actually was shocked to get the call like I thought I blew the interview terribly because of my nerves but instead they offered me it at the same pay rate as they pay for the supervisor position, which I accidentally applied for and realized at the interview that they were interviewing me for that. Luckily they had a open case management position too.
  9. What are you about to go do?

    Go back to bed. Just had to post about something meaningless real quick.
  10. What Are You Thinking?

    When I see a meme talking about "all my haters this or that blah blah blah" the first thing that comes to my mind is what morally wrong thing did this person go and do now ? Wish people would be true to themselves and everyone and start posting memes that say, " hey I'm a whore and sleep with married men and use memes about haters to make myself feel less disgusting"... You know, the truth... oh guess I'm being a hater now by hating on that, huh?
  11. Transitioning from Wrong Turn 2 to Wrong Turn 3.
  12. What Are You Thinking?

    My son is playing guitar at a church tomorrow and it's his first actual time playing outside of lessons. I really need to get there somehow.
  13. How Are You Feeling?

    Thx. I actually got a script for 10 from the ER because I actually went in thinking I had flu but the doctor asked about my thyroid and said once I told him I had hoshimotos and no meds that he knew it was that, they came in and told me my TSH # and he goes I didn't even need to see it, I knew. They had me follow up within 24 hrs and I seen this douchey doc that grabbed my thyroid area hard and squeezed and it hurt so bad I winced and started tearing up. His reaction? Instead of trying to find out why it hurt and where he jumped back, threw his hands up and said I didn't hurt you, it shouldn't of hurt which made me really cry because he didn't care. He didnt say ok where is the pain instead he was worried about a potential issue with his own skills. I mean if he was any good he would have worried about why it hurt. I do have nodules but he never even asked he walked out and basically told me I must be uncomfortable seeing him. I hate doctors nowadays. I remember when they cared. Honestly, they need to biopsy the nodules I think or at least send me back to radiation for a new scan to see if they have changed.
  14. How Are You Feeling?

    Now that song Leather and Lace is stuck in me ed!
  15. How Are You Feeling?

    Seriously, I got this dude who is significantly overweight and diabetic on this weight loss keto plan with me. He has lost 35 lbs in less than a month and that's without workouts...me I barely lost a lb. He had blood sugar readings hit almost 300 when I started him on this now, his fasting blood sugar is 95...that's non diabetes range! He has maintained under a blood sugar level within normal, non diabetic range. He is extremely satisfied and said he cant wait to see his doctor. I am proud of the results but I wish I could also see a little weight loss. I would love to get to a healthy body fat percentage and maybe help other people too. I found out my thyroid TSH levels are 42 and that is likely the culprit as a normal functioning TSH needs to be around a 2 for me, no more than a 3 so I am quite sure that is what's stalling my efforts but I won't give up this time, have to keep pushing and I am proud that I could help someone who has something serious like diabetes start healing. I pat myself on the back. Maybe this can become a thing for me. I'm optimistic.
  16. How Are You Feeling?

    Are we going to do them at Sea World?
  17. How Are You Feeling?

    Still am!
  18. How Are You Feeling?

    That sounded molesterish. Lololol. Just playing:)
  19. How Are You Feeling?

    My friends baby daddy? How you know him?
  20. How Are You Feeling?

    I don't like this movie someone change the channel.
  21. How Are You Feeling?

    Actually I'm kind of a bitch. Lol Like, I would fire me but thanks clever innuendos are always favored!
  22. How Are You Feeling?

    I feel like an au pair except that I'm American, they can send me back to Normandy or Belgium find my roots or something.
  23. How Are You Feeling?

    I'm hungry. My body is detoxing from sugar but I'm still like starving. I thought this diet was supposed to kill cravings.
  24. What Are You Thinking?