youve spotted very well, life has a weird way of showing us were alive,i ve come to a point were nothing triggers my feelings anymore, if i still have something like that . i noticed that to keep ur feelings and emotions locked away is a much easier than to have them revealed, i wasnt realy refering to physical pain as we all now when that blades cuts through ur flesh it hurts like hell but somehow its the only thing /feeling reminding u that ur alive.